Just watched the first episode of a kickass new Spider-Man series, Ultimate Spider-Man.

So far, I am loving it. The whole attitude of the show is very Spider-Man. There’s a lot of fourth-wall breaking, short soliloquies, flashbacks, and other devices reminiscent of movies like Scott Pilgrim Versus The World, all done in a breezy, high density style that might annoy some people and would be totally inappopriate for a more serious kind of hero.

Like, say, Spawn. It would be totally wrong for Spawn. But it fits my main man Spider-Man perfectly.

Besides, Spawn already had a series, and it was pretty good.

Anyhow, like I have said before, Spider-Man is my number one dude. No other super-hero comes even vaguely close. There was a time when I was a hormonally twisted teenage male where I would not have wanted to choose between him and Wolverine, but there was never really any doubt who I would rather hang out with or with whom I identified more.

It’s Webhead all the way.

And I am quite impressed with the show. As a tribute to its extraordinary powers of density, the episode was only 24 minutes long and yet I kept being amazed that it wasn’t over yet. They packed the content in so tight and yet so effortlessly that it made me feel like I had watched a whole hour’s worth of show in less than half an hour.

In a good way. A very good way.

They have made some modifications to the usual mythos. Nothing egregious, just little things like JJJ is now the CEO of the Daily Bugle Media Group instead of just the publisher of the Daily Bugle. This was totally necessary. Who gives a shit about newspapers any more? So it’s just a logical update.

Another update is that they took like 20 years off Aunt May, and now instead of being a sweet little old lady of a kind that sort of doesn’t exist any more, she is more like a modern super-mom in her Fabulous Fifties who works hard all day then goes out to yoga and bowling and whatever at night.

I always did wonder how Aunt May supported herself and Peter. I assumed it was money Uncle Ben left her from his converted rice empire after he died.

The one modification I am have trouble making is that Spidey is going to join SHEILD and lead a band of fellow super-teens. I am so totally not down with that. Spidey is just plain not a joiner. It is one of the things he and I have in common. Neither of us are keen on giving up our autonomy in order to be part of a group. We’d rather keep things simple and do our own thing, without putting ourselves in a situation where we have to do what we are told by some authority figure we have to trust.

And yeah, I know that’s not a pro-social or mature attitude. You can give me all the reason why people are better off working together and I will agree with every one of them. It is human nature to work together towards common goals and most of human progress has come from doing exactly that.

It’s just not for me. I am, in that sense, a loner. I don’t want to subsume my identity into a larger group identity. I am too temperamentally fond of my own autonomy to do that. I want to help, sure, and I can join in on a group effort in a short term sense and pitch in and not feel trapped.

But I don’t like group work and I don’t like hierarchies and I don’t like situations with a lot of rules. I’m a free spirit, like a lot of us creative types, and I travel the open road.

Metaphorically speaking, that is.

So I have trouble with the idea of my main man Spidey joining SHIELD, let alone ending up leader of some group of surly teenagers. Granted, the show is not stupid, so he is doing it because he wants to be a better superhero and SHIELD can give him the tech and training to do that.

But I can’t see him accepting responsibility for a bunch of fellow super-teens. That is just so non-Spidey. I am willing to be convinced, of course. If the whole thing becomes more like a group of friends (amazing friends?) than some hardnosed SHIELD militaristic bullshit, then maybe I can accept it.

Otherwise…. my Spidey sense tingles just thinking about it.

I also watched a comedy special called Small Dork And Handsome starring comedian Myq Kaplan today.

Fun fact : his first name is pronounced “Mike”. Normally, I hate it when people have names that sound normal but are spelled weird, because honestly you are just making things more difficult for your kid when you do that and nobody is impressed by your half-assed attempt at individuality.

But in this case, I love it. It’s like it goes all the way through annoying, past ironic, and into something akin to adorable.

Anyhoo, the special was pretty good. A lot of his material is pretty good, but I don’t care for his delivery style, which is a sort of neurotic anti-timing that tends to make me miss the point of a joke until it’s already gone past, and then I have to go back and dog for it, and comedy should not be that much work.

But that’s just me, possibly being very old-fashioned. He is cute and charming and funny, so the little details don’t matter so much except to comedy nerds like me.

My favorite joke came not from him (supposedly) but some racist lady he met after a show on Sunset, in LA.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

(Don’t worry, it’s not a racist joke.)

You just look for the fresh prints!

See, now that is an adorable joke. It’s like something a very hip nine year old would write.

That’s it from me for the day. Talk to you tomorrow, you wonderful people, you!