The sentience posing as Michael “MJB” Bertrand is actually an interdimensional being who accidentally got caught in the Earth’s magnetic field and has been forced to encode its desperate pleas for help from its transdimensional brethren as rambling blog entries and the playing of a lot of Flash video games….

*sigh* OK, not really.

Michael “MJB” Bertrand is actually just some fat guy with a computer. Originally hailing from the town you’ve never heard of (Summerside) in the province you’ve never thought about (Prince Edward Island) in, quite possibly, the country you”re only vaguely aware of (Canada), he now lives, loves, and dreams in Richmond, British Columbia (still in Canada), where he wages his lonely campaign against whatever is annoying him at the moment and tries to remember what his desk looks like.

He lists his literary influences as traffic noise, random cosmic rays striking his cerebellum, and the long term effects of high doses of antidepressants and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Favoured authors include Terry Pratchett, Ray Bradbury, Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, and whoever put the bop in the bop shebop shebop.

His hobbies include writing (natch), thinking the unthinkable while trying in vain to eff the ineffable, long distance extreme gravy snorkeling, and thinking he’s funny. (Ha ha funny, not “funny”… he knows damn well he’s THAT…)

His favorite all-time science fiction novels are, in meaningless order, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick, Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke, Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein, and Dune by Frank Herbert.

He is an upright, bipedal mammal of the classification Homo Sapiens, and is also, coincidentally, both fairly sapient and quite the homo.

Don’t get offended, he wrote this whole thing himself, so just relax.

Michael “MJB” Bertrand just wants you to know how happy he is that you’re interested enough in him to keep reading this far, especially after that stupid Homo Sapiens joke.

Michael “Surprise Different Middle Name” Bertrand is a carbon-based lifeform and as such, breathes oxygen extracted from a mostly nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere via two pink fleshy lungs.

Foodwise, he loves mint, watermelon, rich French beef dishes, celery, chocolate-mint ice cream, and that awesome burger at Boston Pizza.

He’s kind of silly.