Fiction

Twenty Thousand Leagues

Barbara was doing a crossword (6 letter word : “Describes Garfield and Felix”. Easy. FELINE) when the man came through the wall. She put down the crossword and sighed. Before he could say anything, she said “You aren’t here. So … Continue reading

Be You Later

(Tim, an average college student, is sitting on an old beat up couch and playing a video game on a console. As we open, his roommate Linda enters. ) Linda : Wait, shouldn’t you be working on your term paper … Continue reading

Slay This Town

Today, they were all going to pay. That’s what Derrick was thinking as he walked through town with the comforting weight of a duffel bag full of weapons bumping against his hip and a list of names in his pocket. … Continue reading

So now what?

I’ve only been idle two days, and already I am bored, tense, frustrated, and out of sorts. But tyou know what? That’s good. I cherish those feelings. They are a sign that I am still alive inside, and struggling to … Continue reading

Last three prompts

Well, this is it. I have been saving the last three prompts from my Final Portfolio for Creative Writing for a day when I really didn’t have time to blog, and this is it. I hope you enjoy reading them … Continue reading

Some of my recent writing

I just realized I haven’t blogged yet today and I am running out of time but I am rather creatively tapped out so I will just share with you what I have been working on. The last two days, I … Continue reading

A day at the pond

Ancient Caterpillar (AC) woke up for the fifth time that day, and decided that this time, he would have to get up and do something, at least until he had tired himself out enough to go back to sleep. As … Continue reading

What if you can’t fail out?

“Please input fifteen kilograms of Iosis-bearing rock. ” Genever stared at the ship computer’s exterior viewscreen. “Pardon me?” “Please input fifteen kilograms of Iosis-bearing rock. ” said the computer, slightly louder. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? I am never … Continue reading

Triple Flash, Revised

Got an assignment today for those same three flash stories, revised. Here they are. Two girls. They were still friends, that was the main thing. The “thing” that had happened “that night” hadn’t ruined their friendship. Not yet, anyway. Two … Continue reading

Some working title

You know, I am going to miss you guys when the pills kick in. I am serious. You all have been the best bunch of hallucinations a fella could ask for, and that’s not just the Xanax talking. I know … Continue reading

BONUS CONTENT : Triple Flash

I have an assigned due Thursday where I have to write three ultrashort stories of 75 words each based on some images the prof gave us. I figured I might as well do them here so they will be saved … Continue reading

A Shadow In Twilight

It is so glorious to feed. I wish I could put it in terms you mortals could understand. It is like drinking the finest wine times eating the most sumptuous of meals raisef to the power of the best sex … Continue reading

From the harness

Somehow, Devan wasn’t surprised when the long shadow of the mighty minotaur he’d called Tsop (after a son who had died of plague) was cast upon the freshly plowed earth of Devon’s farm. “So you’re back, then. ” said Devan … Continue reading

In the name of the general

Ledat’s pulse pounded in his ears and his throat as he approached General Ungar’s tent. He was trembling like a cart on cobblestones, and his hands were hot and itchy. The summons to the General’s tent had been as sudden … Continue reading

A year in solitary

They think I don’t know what they did to me. What they’re doing to me. But I do, I DO. I know exactly what those bastards are up to and when I get out, there is going to be a … Continue reading

The local hero

Dale had actually done it. A burglar had broken into his home, and after several clear and commanding warnings were ignored, Dale had followed his training, aimed for the center of mass, exhaled, and pulled the trigger. Now there he … Continue reading

Diary of a supervillain

I hate it here. I miss my lair. Every day it’s the same bloody thing. Communal meals of banal food. Endless group therapy sessions where I am forced to listen to men and women (and a few other things) whimper … Continue reading

Interview with a Supervillain, part 1

The following is a full transcript of Sterling Roche’s interviews with Anton Gardener, know to the world as the supervillain “Repton”. It took place in Visiting Room Eight at Highgate Hypermaximum Prison in Greem Oaks, Maryland. The interviews took place … Continue reading

My five dimensional roommate, part 3

Okay, that’s it. That’s it. That is truly fucking it. I have had it with that extradimensional asshole and I don’t car what it takes, he and his disgusting habits and weird behaviour are going to be out of this … Continue reading

My five dimensional roommate, part 2

So last time I told you that when he came out of the five dimensional closet, so to speak, things got a lot worse. And the reason for that is that after the big reveal, he stopped pretending to be … Continue reading

My five dimensional roommate

I’ve got to tell you about my roommate. He’s five dimensional. And no, that doesn’t mean that he “comes from the fifth dimension”, any more than we “come from the third dimension”. I am so tired of everyone treating dimensional … Continue reading

The silence speaks, final part

They’re coming for you, buddy. …who said that? Who do you think? It’s me, Frankie, your best friend. But that’s impossible, I mean… you never really… you hardly ever…. Spoke up? Sure I did. I’ve been yakking at you since … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 12

I’m very worried about Frankie. He is behaving so oddly and such strange things are happening that I don’t know where to begin. I guess we’ll start with Frankie. He does such odd things now. Sometimes he will stop talking … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 11

You know what it’s like to be a miracle? It stinks. So’s I goes into the hospital knowing that when I leave, it’ll be on a slab. Suits me fine. There’s nobody to miss me and nobody I’ll miss. Fuck … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 10

No Void. Never was. Trapped here forever. The Beam doesn’t want me. The Big Beam has been back dozens of times now. Every time the volume drops and every time the knife gets sharper. The first time was a sunset, … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 9

Every since I was a kid, I knew that nothin good ever come from acting smart. From my momma slapping me hard and saying “Don’t you pretend you’re smart, you little shit!” to the neighborhood toughs wandering around hunting for … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 8

Still no sign of the Void(s). And my compatriots, understandably, are beginning to lose faith in my leadership. Truth be told, so am I. It all seemed so clear not so long ago. The Void were an imminent threat. Everybody … Continue reading

A long dark depth

Sorry, no “Silence” today either. I am not quite sure what happens next. Tomorrow, probably. Plus I have news to relate. Late last night, the sky over the oil fields of Yemen…. Just kidding. Not that kind of news. Personal … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 7

I have good news and bad news. Good news first. The new global channel is complete. The project was slow at first, I will admit. But once we all put our energies into it as one, it was done in … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 6

It worked. Blessed be the Light, it worked! I have made contact with the other Radiants on Earth, and I have done it in a way that Authority can neither control nor suppress. As long as humans have eyes, we … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 5

I want to leave. I have to leave. I need to leave. I cannot leave. The final insult came today. I, very humbly and respectfully, asked Authority if I could use the global channel to warn my fellow Earth bound … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 4

I can’t find the twin Void monsters anywhere. And before seeing the original destroy that poor woman, I would have assumed that meant they went elsewhere. But Cellophane proved to me that he could disappear from my sight at will, … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 3

Mister Cellophane is in my neighborhood again. I call him that because, to me, he is almost invisible. I can see his body through the eyes of others, and it is unremarkable. Suspiciously so. Everything about him seems designed to … Continue reading

The silence speaks, part 2

The flesh is fed, and I have located a more suitable resting place for it, inside and out of rain. Currently, it sits on the toilet in a small, out of the way park bathroom frequented only by the local … Continue reading

The silence speaks

The body traffic was thrumming along nicely when I finally decided to precipitate myself out of the shadow in which I had let myself dissolve the previous evening. I landed, with elegant gracelessness, on my back, and spent a few … Continue reading

Morning in Paris

{SCENE : A small but luxurious hotel room on the banks of the Seine in Paris. Three quarters of the space is taken up by a very richly appointed waterbed, with expensive sheets and gold fixtures. In this bed lie … Continue reading

This never happened

I was nine when I figured out I could make things…. unhappen. It was my sister’s birthday. The whole family was there. And we all had worked so hard to make the day right for her. So many decisions. What … Continue reading

So sayeth the book

“Oh Trent!” Rebecca sighed, “why does it have to be this way? Why can’t we be together? Why can’t you leave that crummy little private detective’s office behind and come to New Hampshire with me? The estate is lovely this … Continue reading

It Comes Up Again And Again

Well, thought Ted, I guess I better throw up. First came the recent stuff. The memo battle he had somehow ended up in with Gabriella from Marketing. All the hassles with the implementation of the new file architecture on the … Continue reading

What a surprise

The final Orkling Powerlord lay dead at Graxon the Mighty’s feat, and he stood, panting with the effort but still alert. He knew what had to come next. And he was ready for it. The sound of sarcastic clapping echoed … Continue reading

Fiction : Power Switch

Only fifteen minutes after I woke up, I turned myself On. I know I am not supposed to do that. The doctors and med techs say that the mind is not ready to be electrically stimulated into the On state … Continue reading

Lost in Books

“So, if I understand you correctly, Holmes, you are saying that Moriarty knew we would find the Duchess’ killer?” said Watson “Of course, Watson, of course. I am, after all, the world’s greatest detective. It would be child’s play for … Continue reading

Potato nachos and beer

Randy slid into the booth opposite Laurene, and mumbled hello. Laurene smiled at Randy. “Well hey there Randy! I wasn’t sure you’d come. ” Randy shook his head, bemused. “Laurene, I haven’t seen you in near on three months. Of … Continue reading

FICTION : The Color Of Night

February 19, 2027 All my preparations are complete. The latest round of rat studies produced rats with the fourth type of cone (what I call the “yellow” cone for now) in both eyes one hundred percent of the time. All … Continue reading

Short Story : “Parasite”, part III

When Bear (reluctantly) regained consciousness, his first instinct was to panic. What the heck was he doing here in an alien landscape? How had he gotten here? And what on Earth has possessed him to take a nap there? But … Continue reading

Short Story : “Parasite”, part II

Bear stopped and looked around, taking in his surroundings for the first time since he had left home. Not a single thing in his environment was familiar to him. The leaves on the bushes looked like wriggling red fingers. Rustling … Continue reading

One Dark Night In Transylvania

“It’s alive… ALIVE!” shouted Doctor Frankenstein. His experiment was a success. His creation LIVED! He rubbed his hands with glee as he watched his creation sleep, basking in the glow of what had to be the most important scientific discovery … Continue reading

More about misogyny

Here’s the stuff I didn’t discuss yesterday. I’m going to move on to misandry tomorrow, in the interest of fair play and equal time. I have a lot to say on that subject too. Hate goes both ways, and when … Continue reading

SHORT STORY : At long last

Rudolph gasped as the door opened and light from the outer hallway split his darkened and wretched little room in two, freezing him in place with terror. Sometimes knowing something is coming only makes it worse, Rudolph thought as he … Continue reading

The Cat And The Elephant

I thought I had lost this story! The Cat and the Elephant “Excuse me, sir?” said the Cat. “Yes? Can I help you? ” said the Elephant kindly. “I’m looking for somebody. Have you seen a fellow named Shroedinger around? … Continue reading

NOTE : How to get the full PDF of The Road To Amarlea

Easy! Just email me and ask. I will email the PDF to you in return. But remember, you can share it via email all you like, but DO NOT upload it anywhere that the general public can get at it. … Continue reading

More of that dream crap

Lots more dreaming of the usual variety. Super intense, wake up soaked in sweat and completely disoriented, takes a while to remember who I am and what is real. I had to make a concerted effort to tell myself “I … Continue reading

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 30

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 29

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 28

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 27

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 26

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 25

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 24

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 23

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 22

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 21

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 20

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 19

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 18

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road To Amarlea, part 17

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 16

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 15

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 14

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 13

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 12

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 11

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 10

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

The Road to Amarlea, part 9

Iot, it thought, and the pleasure of the revelation made its entire substance ripple with delight. My name was Iot. My name is Iot. I am Iot. Iot is my name. For a long while, the specter of what had … Continue reading

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, Part 8

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, Part 7

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

The Road to Amarlea, part 6

“Fuck off, Pep. ” said Uncle Tip. “Aw, that’s what you always say, Uncle Tip. But I’m bored and I want to DO something!” said Pep. “That’s none of my concern, you little shit. Why are you always bothering me … Continue reading

Protected: The Road To Amarlea, part 5

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 4

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 3

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 1

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: The Road to Amarlea, part 1

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Die Now Incorporated

Andrew stepped off the slidewalk and entered the nondescript storefront of Die Now Incorporated. As his eyes adjusted to the subdued lighting, the first thing he noticed was that, despite the garishly macabre nature of Die Now’s promotions on the … Continue reading

An agreement on principle

{Scene opens on a lone unoccupied upscale podium in a single spotlight. Background noise is of subdued conversation and the clink of silverware and glasses, suggesting a formal dinner. The podium remains empty for a few long beats before a … Continue reading

One fine morning

One fine morning, I woke up evil. At first, I didn’t notice. After all, who isn’t evil when they first wake up in the morning? For most of humanity, it takes a significant period of time and the soothing comfort … Continue reading

Interview with the Author

“Well, here we are. ” said the Author. “I understand some of your have questions you would like to ask me, so here I am. Ask away. ” “I have a question, m-mister Author, um…. sir. ” said a timid … Continue reading

From the rodent who lives behind your eyeballs

First off, I must apologize for once more intruding. I know that after all the unpleasantness after the last time I spoke up (the ridicule, the restraints, the institution, the electroshock, and so forth), I promised to remain silent until … Continue reading

An Errant Purchase, or Apologies to William

Dramatis Personae Rudrich, a stalwart and stolid salesman of previously owned office furniture Elsanore, his good and faithful wife and a real estate agent in her own mien Minsk, their bright and simple daughter of halfscore and five years of … Continue reading

Under the Sky

http://michaeljohnbertrand.com/MJB/wp-admin/post-new.php Continue reading

One Average Meeting In Space

Bowshawm’s upper antenna quivered with irritation. Why was he even here? He was an engineer. He almost never dealt with the public. So why did he have to know all about some new species, fresh from their admission to the … Continue reading

Chapter One : Monaco

International jet-setting superstar Monaco D’agostino wandered with every appearance of lightly weary diffidence through her palatial villa in southeast Italy, on an island in the waters between Italy and Greece, and smiled a pretty and pleased smile at everyone she … Continue reading