It is a seemingly mundane and everyday world that a lot of people use without really thinking about it and hence, use it wrong.

But once you understand what it truly means, you begin to truly understand the humanist endeavor.

Welcome back, my nerdlings. Come, bask in science awesomeness!

Can you say “Oops”?

First up, errata. Seems that story I did last week about them finding alien stuff in the upper upper atmosphere was just a bunch of hot air.

Charitably, we will just say that the lead scientist got a little too excited far too early, and not only went off half-cocked but without doing even half of the work you are supposed to do before you go claiming that what you have discovered is actual, legit science.

I would be more bummed out about it, but as far as I know, the far more credible story of finding extraterrestrial life inside a meteor is still viable, so fuck it.

We Are Not Alone

But maybe the aliens… are US! (cue Twilight Zone sting)

According to this fascinating (and kinda gross… definitely germphobe trigger warning) article, only ten percent of the cells in your body are genetically human.

The rest are various forms of microorganisms that have a symbiotic relationship with the human cells and which have, in a sense, co-evolved with us, but are not actually human.

Do you realize what this means? Holy batshit, Fatman…. we’re not workers, we’re management! What we think of as our human selves is just the overseers to a bunch of tame germs and such.

Or, less colorfully, we are all shepherds over a flock of beneficial microbes who give us their wool and we give them a place to live.

Philosophically and poetically, my mind is blown.

Black Holes Of The Deep

The ocean has black holes.

Not of the space kind, thank goodness, but something equivalent. They are whirlpools that have, purely by chance, developed a stable pattern that means that nothing can escape their circular current.

It’s one thing to learn that all vortices follow the same rules, but to see it demonstrated with something as freaky cool as a black hole of the ocean is something else.

Everything that enters these stable vortices circulates endlessly, meaning they can accumulate a lot of stuff like sea life, plastic waste, and oil.

I wonder if we could harness one of these black holes of the deep (tell me that’s not fun to say) in order to generate clean electricity.

And speaking of generating electricity… from this point on it is all about the energy!

Sing it, Old Man Earth!

It’s weird that he has clouds for hair.

Here’s four stories about three ways to get clean energy.

Method One : Microbes

Yup. We are talking Microbes that generate electricity.

A team at Stanford has cultivated a rather strange form of bacteria that actually generates electrical current as a byproduct of its digestion of organic waste.

You know what that means? POO BATTERIES!

Seriously though, while it is not known if this will ever produce enough electricity to power your iPod charger, it could very well be the sort of thing that provides the energy input for a slow but efficient detoxification project, especially if supplemented by solar.

Imagine dozens of little microbe-munching machines working patiently and tirelessly to detoxify a “dead zone” like the article says, or even just cut down the costs at your local sewage treatment facility.

I just love the idea of microbes that actually make things cleaner.

Method Two : Caged Atoms

Stepping a little into the Phantom Zone on this one, but not overmuch.

Scientists at the Vienna University of Technology have found a way to make a thermoelectric material that is far more efficient than any other before it.

Thermoelectricity is relatively easy to understand. A thermoelectric material is one that generates an electrical current when used to bridge two material of different temperatures. The bigger the temperature different, the bigger the current.

This has enormous possibilities. Imagine a thermoelectric plant in one of Iceland’s volcanoes. Arctic cold up top (most of the year), fiery hot down below. Zap.

I don’t quite grasp how this trapped cerium thing makes for a more efficient thermoelectric effect, although I like the image of them all rattling the bars screaming “ATTICA!”.

But anything that leads to more efficiency in harvesting the gigawatts of energy that flow around us every day is great news to me.

Method 3 : Good Ol Solar, Part I

It doesn’t make the news as much any more, but solar power is still in the race and kicking some ass, at least in terms of the here and now.

Want proof? California just opened the world’s largest solar energy farm in the blistering sun of the Mojave.

See, this is what I love about California. They might not get the smartest government, but they at least have governments that think big and follow dreams.

This solar farm is not a photovoltaic solar farm. Instead, it’s of the type that uses rings of mirrors that all reflect sunlight toward a central tower that contains water. The sunlight boils the water, the water turns to steam, the steam runs a turbine, and just like that you got electricity.

I love this form of solar mostly because it’s the more practical system for turning sunlight into megawatts that we have in the world today.

But that might not be true in the future….

Method 3 : Good Ol Solar, Part I

A group of teams of scientists from around the world have announced that they have developed a solar cell with a whopping 47 percent efficiency.

That makes it the Guiness Record holder for most efficient photovoltaic cell and, more importantly, means that we are closing in on fifty percent efficiency mark that solar enthusiasts have sought for decades.

The idea is that at fifty percent, solar could compete with the current filthy energy from coal and oil on an even footing because it would cost exactly the same. No subsidies required.

And if we ever reached that state of magical equilibrium, it would take only the gentlest of regulatory pushes, say a five percent tax on dirty energy, to make solar come out on top.

And hey, who says we will stop at fifty percent?

It’s been behind in the race for a long time, but solar is definitely moving ahead right now.

It’s an exciting time to be alive and interested in science!

Seeya next week, folks!