There is just too much cool stuff piling up in my web browser, so I have almost no choice but to share them with all you nice people before my copy of Firefox reaches critical mass and my apartment is destroyed in a chain reaction of awesome.

That would be bad.

Our first item : magic shows. They are so damn lame. The same stupid tricks, the same completely fatuous air of mystery and glamour, stupid costumes, lame patter, rhinestones, spandex, and guys with an incredible sense of smug self-importance. Right?

Wrong. Watch this video, and you will realize that it is still perfectly possible for a magician to blow your freaking mind, even if you are a grownup.

Did I lie? Is that not amazing stuff? This is what happens when you leave all that traditional Magic Castle crap behind, all the rabbit-filled hats and doves put in weird places and disappearing large cats booshwa, and just concentrate on what stage magic is truly about : making people’s eyes pop out of their head because you just did something which should be completely impossible.

Beat that, Criss Angel! (Don’t take that personally, though, because you are amazingly hot and I would hate to make someone that hot sad. )

I could speculate on “howdy doodat”. I am guessing it involves a lot of hidden mirrors and very subtle use of a smoke machine and lasers that are only visible when reflected.

But to heck with that. I prefer just to admire what that young man has achieved.

Plus, god DAMN do I want one of those super bright green lasers that he uses as his main laser in the fact.

So. Very. WANNIT.

Also, guess what? Remember that charming and knowledgeable computer named Watson who kicked everyone’s ass at Jeopardy last year?

Well, it is official. Watson has a real job now!

And without having to resort to the dark, brutal, and terrifying world of the underground quiz kid circuit!

Instead, “he” will be working for health insurer and HMO megagods Wellpoint as an assistant diagnostician, helping to suggest diagnoses and treatment options to doctors as an adjunct, of course, to their own knowledge and expertise.

So, sort of like having a bright young medical student around who might see something or suggest something that you would not have thought of on your own. After all, even the most learned and perceptive of minds is finite, and can only encompass so many possibilities, travel down so many paths, all at the same time.

I just hope someone does the logical thing and have Watson show up on an episode of House as a competing diagnostician.

Wouldn’t that make that smug and cranky bastard’s blood pressure spike?

It also makes me wonder what else Watson or a clone of him could do.

I am thinking he should have his own syndicated advice column. After all, that is kind of like diagnosis and treatment…. but not for the human body, but for the human SOUL.

First question : “What is this human thing called…. love?”

Finally, another marvelous video from a lady we here love so very, very much.

Technically, she’s doing a character in this one, and generally when she tries to do a character she fails badly because, as much as I love her, she’s not an actress.

But in the video, she is basically just being herself as a cop, so it all works out marvelously. As usual, she is charming, adorable, and funny as hell.

The material is kickass. At least she is not a desk jockey like that lazy fucker Wong.

Oh, and I have decide that the cruller is the Official Donut of Comedy, at least for Americans. It’s a funny word, they are a funny looking donut, and there is just something that suggests that little bit of extra specificity that makes it perfect for comedy.

Plus, it has a very short name. Cruller. Try working your punchline around “Old-fashioned glazed” or “double chocolate” or “glazed with sprinkles” and see how far you get.

Plus, as Tom Waits once pointed out (sort of), a lot of the other donuts have names that sound kind of obscene, or rather, crypto-obscene.

“One for every year he’s away” she said.

Damn, I love that man’s work.

Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. Hopefully, I will somehow defy the demons of my sleepiness and come up with something more cogent soon.

But until then, you will get cool links and commentary!

You know, like everyone else on the Internet.

Well, that’s