So I’m sick. Something viral, I think.
My energy level is through the floor. Been sleeping all day, which is proper for a sickie.
My breathing is somewhat labored. Not enough to be too worried about yet but you can be damned sure I am keeping an eye on it.
Don’t want to end up in the hospital on oxygen for ten days with pneumonia again because I ignored the warning signs until it was almost too late.
Chest also has that familiar heavy, scratchy, sore feeling. Very not good, especially with the trouble breathing.
Plus my nose keeps running. That’s always a tricky one to diagnose because it could just be my usual annoying sinus and/or hayfever type issues.
But if it keeps going well past taking my combination antihistamine and sinus pill, that usually means that something is very much up.
God damn it, I haven’t even made it to 200 words yet and I am already exhausted and in need of another nap.
Well I am at least going to make it to 250 words before I fade away again.
God damn this sucks.
Oh, and of course I am also dizzy and disoriented. Par for the course for damned near anything with me sadly. I feel very much at sea right now.
Only without the fresh sea air and the soothing rocking of the waves.
Damn I miss the ocean.
Time for me to slip back beneath the waves, I guess. Pull the blanket of ocean over this shipwreck of a body and sleep like a Deep One for another eon or two,.
Wake me at the breaking of the dawn.
Time for another shift at the word mine.
Slept some. Woke up feeling even more dizzy and disoriented than before.
And now nausea and headache have joined our fun little fucking party.
And I know that once I manage to get to 500 words, I’m going to have to sleep again.
And that’s a big problem because it’s already 7 pm and at some point in the next 5 hours I have to both eat supper and write the other 500 freaking words.
Plus negotiate with the aliens who are stealing my brain.
I’m not too worried about the writing. I can probably push myself into finishing the other 500 words after yet another nap.
Things might get a tad freeform steam of consciousness but I can make the words come out if I absolutely must. \
But the eating should happen at around 8 pm and I am pretty sure that I will be out like a light by then, and God know when I will wake up after that.
So I might have to skip supper entirely. Not a smart move but I have no choice.
i wish I could just shake this lethargy with a cold drink and a cold splash of water on my fevered brow, but this kind of thing is as inevitable as the tides.
There I go the water imagery again.
Guess that means it’s time for me to go under again.
More after the break.
Made it to shore
Feeling like I finally washed ashore after all that water imagery.
In other words I am feeling somewhat better. I don’t feel quite as tired and drained, and I can think a lot more clearly.
Unfortunately that means I can feel my other symptoms more clearly too. And this heavy weight in my lungs that is making it hard to breathe is really worrying me.
So much so that I think a trip to the ever-loving ER might be in my future. Sigh.
I keep turning it over and over again in my mind to try to find a way out of it, but but there isn’t one. This feeling in my chest and the trouble breathing accompanying it are just not normal and not good and so I am probably going to have to go get checked out.
And I don’t wanna go! Waaaaaah!
The ER sucks. It’s slow and boring and depressing and a strain on my resistance to my social anxiety and I would really rather avoid it entirely.
But this could be pneumonia.
Or worse, it could be Covid. Not a nice thought but one I can’t dismiss out of hand merely because it’s too scary to think about.
Admittedly, I am sort of curious as to what exactly happens if you test positive for Covid in the ER. Are you Med-Evac’d to some modern day leper colony where you are fed via airdrop and treated via remotely controlled robot arm? Does an alarm sound and walls slam down and a spooky filtered creepy-calm voice tell me to remain where I am and that there is nothing to be afraid of?
Does it set of a musical number? Singing doctors and nurses? I wanna know!
Of course, let it be said unto the universe, I don’t want to know anywhere near bad enough to want to get the Covid.
Besides, it would be totally unfair for a recluse like me to get it. One who is both fully vaccinated and who wears his mask in public.
Joking aside, there is still pneumonia to worry about. I am going to talk with Joe and Julian about it when we get together to watch Colbert et al soon and probably end up arranging for Julian to drop me off at the ER some time tomorrow.
That will get me there soon but also give me time to mentally prepare for it.
Obviously, if my symptoms get a lot worse all of a sudden, I will just call a cab and get my poor sickly self there ASAP.
But for now, my plan is to go whenever is good for Julian tomorrow.
Oh, and let it be said that my social anxiety is putting up its usual fuss about “What if we go and it turns out nothing is wrong? We’ll be so EMBARRASSED!!!!!”
Better embarrassed than dead. Or full of tubes and barely clinging to life and screaming in my head because my fear of smothering is going full tilt berserk,
l shall return with a report after the fact. Hopefully this means that…
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.