The good news is that I don’t feel like death half warmed over any more.
I still don’t feel great but this bug’s deathly pall seems a lot thinner now. I still feel artificially heavy and tired but the effect is ebbing away. i think. knock on wood.
Didn’t do Wound Care this morning. Back then, I was still feeling pretty down. I was supposed to have Wound Care at 10:30 am this morning. Called in at around 9:45 am that I wasn’t going to be able to make it.
Seriously, it felt like I was wearing lead pajamas.
At least it was a warm kind of heaviness. Sometimes that shit comes with the chills and that combo is a wee bit too much like death to me.
I’ll have plenty of time to be dead when I die, thank you.
Still trying to ice skate uphill when it comes to focusing on what I am doing. My mind must have itchy feet because it just keeps wandering around and I got to use the comically large shepherd’s crook to haul it back to the here and now.
The cushion remains okay. It’s doing a decent job. Still not enough to extend how long I can use this PC by much, sadly. That remains in the “unsolved” category.
I think next time I will try to find something big and floofy instead of something all ergonomic and complicated.
Annoys me that these ergonomic numbers all claim to be so good for your back and your tailbone (aka your coccyx) and so many other forms of pain and injury butt that does not include injuries to your actual buttocks, it seems.
When I try to google a solution, all I get is links to either the ergonomic ones or those donut shaped ones and those don’t work for this either.
I know that because Joe got me one a while back and it seemed to shift my weight directly ON to the injury.
Which reminds me of something amusing that happened last time I went to Wound Care. I was discussing one of my foot injuries with the nurse when she asked me. “Have you been floating it?”
Time freezes, or possibly just my brain. “Pardon?”
“I asked you if you had been floating your injury. ”
I am experiencing a reality fault. My mind is, in fits and starts, trying to imagine what on Earth she could mean by that.
Luckily, my deeper mind came to the rescue and provided the solution : “Oh, you’re asking if I’m OFFLOADING the injury!”
Phew! Thanks sincerely, deeper mind. That was a bad couple seconds.
I’ve gotten pretty good at understanding nurses’ accents (very few of the nurses here are from here) but that was a tough one.
Anyhow, back to donut pillows.
I suppose I could try putting the donut atop the ergonomic cushion and see if that helps. I doubt it will, but it’s easy enough to try, so what the hell.
And of course, eventually my butt wound will heal completely and this will all be moot.
The painful area has already grown smaller. So, fingers and butt cheeks crossed.
I will be so glad when this annoying condition is gone. gone. gone.
More after the break.
Stir fried Fru
I’ve got to stop taking these naps that start before sunset and end well after it.
They always mess me up. L:ike I said before. we’re not meant to sleep in the day and wake in the dark.
That’s why working the graveyard shift is so hard for so many people. Our minds and bodies and our circadian rhythms naturally rebel at such bizarre events.
Mother Nature clearly wants us to wake during the day and sleep at night.
But then again, while I’ve always loved Ma Nature, I have never been very good at listening to her commandments.
Side effect of all that IQ she gave me, I suppose.
Speaking of which, took an online autism spectrum test called the raads-r.
As I figured, I do not have autism or Aspergers. The highest score in the four categories it measured was a 30 in Social Detachment, and a score has to be at least 65 in order to diagnose the participant as autistic.
The others were under 15.
I felt the need to take the test because of a lot of little things that made me wonder. Mostly social things,. come to think of it. But also some strange sensory incidents.
But the results did not surprise me. I’m too warm and empathetic a person to rate as any kind of autistic.
I wasn’t surprised, but I was a little disappointed. Would nice to have a label for just how fricking weird I am.
But as it turns, I am weird even among other weirdos. Which figures.
It’s lonely being unique. What works for others doesn’t work for you at all. You are constantly forced to invent your own solutions for things.
And that’s hard.
But yeah, I’m not autistic. What I need is some kind of meta-conditional test that tells you what the fuck might be wrong with you and links you the test for THAT.
No wonder I’m way more humanist than I am human. I am just not like the other birds and I can’t manage to flock together with them no matter how hard I try.
So I don’t try. I’m always friendly and nice from my Olympian perch, but I am very socially damaged and that’s very hard to recover from all alone.
And people aren’t exactly lining up to help.
Not that helping someone as Socially Avoidant as me is easy. Far from it. Avoidant Personality Disorder is a Group C disorder, along with thing like Narcissist and Borderline and those are all very hard to treat.
Still, I would welcome all the medical health I can get. I would love to check in to some kind of asylum where I would get daily therapy, both group and individual, and maybe actually make some kind of breakthrough.
But I guess all I can do is keep plodding along.
I will tslk to you nice people again tomorrow.