Title says it all. really.
I knew I was in trouble when I tried to eat breakfaster and even crackers, otherwise known as the world’s most innocuous food, made me sick.
I felt dizzy and nauseous, which suggests it’s a sinus issue. Then again, my balls are achy and sore too.
These symptoms have coincided many times in my life. I suppose it could be that I have a body wide inflammatory response going on.
If so the Aleve (naproxen) I just took should help.
I also feel hot, and achy, and very very drained. There’s parts of my body that feel bruised though there’s no discoloration on the surface of the skin.
Takes a continuous effort to keep my mood from taking a nosedive, too. Would be really easy to make this far, far worse by panicking and freaking out and put my body into a very dangerous stress mode that would only make me feel worse.
Been there. Done that. Learned better, thank goodness.
Now I just wait this kind of shit out. Whatever it is, it will pass. It will disappear as mysteriously as it arrived and I will go back to that sad state I call “normal”.
AKA “relatively not miserable”. On a good day. As a whole.
I ack the energy to go get some stuff from the kitchen for lunch, and Joe and Julian are off helping his sister Melanie moved a couch, so I have to just make do with the stuff I have here in my room with me.
At least I am actually eating some of it, albeit slowly. That’s a lot better than I could manage at breakfast. So perhaps I am already on the mend.
For obvious reasons, it always worries me when I can’t eat. My diabetes makes skipping meals a most dangerous act. I could end up crashing down so hard I don’t get back up again.
I would have to hope my Emergency Mode would kick in like it did that one time at VFS. Class ended and I got up to go home and immediately knew I was in deep trouble.
I had pushed things too far and my blood sugar was crashing. I could feel the tingling all through my body backed by a deadly chill and it felt like I was dying.
Because I kind was.
But then my eccentric Emergency Mode kicked in where I become rather giddy and giggly and I’m like…
It’s a form of insanity in which the fact that I am on the edge of death amuses me. Uh oh, guess I’m in big trouble! Tee hee hee.
But it works. It keeps me together and moving so that I can save myself. I went to that sandwich place I liked and got a sandwich and one of their giant ginger cookies.
Under those circumstances, sugar is not only allowed but recommended.
Shit. Where was I?
Oh right, not being able to eat. Well I have eaten a lot of crackers and some Smartfood popcorn and I am about to eat some sugar free oatmeal cookies, and I am feeling one heck of a lot better.
Which is good. Because I wanna go to Denny’s with Le Gang tonight.
Now I will go lay down and eat cookies.
More after the break.
After a good meal
Made it to Denny’s. Everything went fine. And now I have had a decent meal and taken on valuable nutrition, so I should feel better now.
It’s funny how when I am sick, what we normally think of appetite disappears b ut is sometimes replaced by a sort of primal craving for nutrition.
I first noticed that three or four hospital visits ago. My appetite was gone, but when a meal arrived I ate every last bit of it – even the oatmeal, ewww – because I wanted NUTRIENTS god damn it.
I sorta wish it was always like that. I wouldn’t crave empty calories at all. They would be pointless wastes of my limited appetite. I would want nutritionally dense foods only.
Sort of like my idea of a genetic modification that could give people perfect nutritional sense so that everything would be exactly as delicious as it is nutritious.
That would solve a lot of problems, wouldn’t it?
Of course, then there would be the problem of being surrounded by people eating food that is actively disgusting to you now. Everywhere you go, there’s shelf after shelf of crap food for people to shovel into their bodies and poison themselves.
I picture breakouts of nutritional terrorism where groups of people with this modification commit acts of violence against junk food and those who make it.
The opinion-sphere would be abuzz with talk about whether that means this modification should be banned. But is it fair to punish everyone for the act of a few deranged lunatics with poor impulse control?
Man am I good at extrapolation.
Now I am picturing armed enclaves of die hard junk food enthusiasts gathered together in mutual defense of their stockpiles of Twinkies, Doritos, and Slurpees.
I must admit, that image amuses me.
No doubt the existence of these groups would put pressure on the market to come up with more nutritious versions of snack foods.
Try our new flavour of Doritos, Won’t Get You Attacked By Loonies!
I must admit there have been times when a sort of nutritional fascism has crossed my mind. A state wherein unhealthy foods are outlawed, or perhaps just heavily taxed.
I wouldn’t actually want that. People have the right to eat crap if they want to.
But I would be lying if I said the idea had no appeal for me.
File it under “nice to think about but a horrible idea”.
Besides, banning things for which there is high demand is futile. One of the rock solid rules of capitalism is that demand creates supply. Where there is sufficient demand, there will be people looking to make money fulfilling that demand.
Just look at the war on drugs.
Actually, don’t. It’s very depressing.
But you see what I mean.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.