Feeling grumpy and irritable right now.
Probably due to masturbation without completion, amongst other things.
Chief amongst the other things would be the state of the world right now.
It’s fucked up.
The UK is ready to explode. Their health care system is falling apart to the tune of 1000 extra deaths a day, old people are freezing to death in their own homes due to high home heating costs, the cost of living is going through the roof, and all the while their current Tory government refuses to do anything about any of it because in order to do something about the nation’s problems they would have to first admit to themselves that they’re doing a horrible job.
This is what I get for coming back to TikTok after being away for a while. Clearly I have lost my resistance to it.
And speaking of resistance, all over the world, there are violent clashes between the people and their governments.
Pay attention, UK, that’ll be you soon.
Meanwhile in the USA, a horrible derailment and chemical disaster scars the land and the company responsible is failing to handle it well on every possible level.
Reminds me of the BP oil spill. I assume I’m not alone in that.
And of course, while all this is happening, the world continues to boil to death and tear itself apart due to global warming, or as I prefer to call it, Killer Weather Syndrome.
“Global warming” sounds kind of nice, actually.
And “global climate change” is too neutral. It doesn’t specify what kind of change.
And of course, absolutely nothing is being done about this change except for a lot of bullshit “seem to be doing something” moves that are far too lenient, too slow, and too little, with too many loopholes for them to be effective at all.
Everything’s fucked and people are reaching a boiling point all over the world. Society everywhere is ready to crack wide open and let its demons run loose. Billionaires and billion dollar companies run the world and not only are they thoroughly evil and corrupt, they’re stupid too, because it’s not like global warming is going to spare THEM.
But the real problem is us, the people. If we rose up against these motherfuckers, there would be nothing they could do to stop us. There’s billions of us and dozens of them. We could shatter their hold over the world without even trying and actually free our governments to do what the people want them to do… or we will tear them down too, and replace them with a government that WILL.
But that won’t happen because people don’t want to leave their cozy-for-now lives and actually stand up to these bastards. Myself included.
So instead we all just fiddle with our screens as the world burns.
Oh. And I am still dying and too crazy to do anything about it.
And my room is full of flies.
So yeah. You could say I’m feeling a tad cranky. Just a little out of sorts. Maybe just a tad miffed at the general state of affairs.
And I would love to strike out in burning rage at my tormentors but they are all inside my head and hence hard for me to get at.
Fuck everything everywhere forever.
More after the break.
How very Marvelous!
I am seriously considering getting this game.
It’s turn based strategy (I can do that), scores big with the critics (always a plus), and stars some of my favorite Marvel characters (whoohoo!)
I know I talked about getting Elden Ring, and I still might. But quite uncharacteristically, I am surveying all my options before making a decision.
It’s been rough.
As patient readers know, decisions involving just myself are hard for me. I easily get overwhelmed by the number of options and find myself dithering endlessly, unable to actually make a choice.
Hence my tendency to just grab the first thing that looks good and that’s it. The only difference is whether or not I torture myself by trying to decide via logic first.
Turns out I am not well suited for that. Not when it comes to personal decisions. I can be the swiftly decisive INTJ in transpersonal decision making, but not when it’s something that has direct consequences for yours truly.
And I think the root of the problem is my timid and fearful outlook on life. I approach these decisions like if I choose the wrong thing, there will be dire consequences.
As if I am trapped in some demented game show and I am being forced to choose a door out of a dozen doors and all but one of them is rigged to explode.
And that’s no way to go through life. If I can’t calculate the answer then I should skip the painful indecision phase and just go with my gut right from the start.
If it turns out to be the wrong decision, I can internalize that and the next time I go with my gut, said gut will be a little bit smarter.
That’s how it works for people unburdened with my level of intelligence. For them, calculating the right answer like a frigging chess computer is not an option.
It’s go with their gut or not go at all.
I just need to make peace with making decisions irrationally. That means ignoring the voice in my head that insists that emotional decisions always end in disaster because you can’t know that they will work.
The only safe choices, says this voice, are the ones where you can examine all the variables and rationally verify that this is, indeed, the right choice.
But that’s irrational in and of itself because situations where you can actually do that are very rare and the rest of life has to be decided on the fly, without the benefit of being able to work things out beforehand or during.
Hence why normal, healthy people can lead happy, wholesome lives while overbrained weirdos like me waste their lives filling their days will video games and enjoying almost none of the good things in life.
Not that I’m bitter or anything.
I just wish things had turned out better for me.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.