After all they have put me through, after all the heartache and disappointment and failure and te long cold years of bitter contempt, how could they do this to me?

They made me want to play the game! The cunts.

Seriously, what the fuck. What kind of evil magic went into the trailer to erase the long and ridiculous history of Duke Nuke’m Forever and make me perfectly willing, in fact almost eager, to let it into my heart again?

How dare they make me hope?

Because man, I was there. Way back when the Earth was young and the rocks flowed like water and RAM was measured in something called a “kilobyte”, Duke Nukem 3D completely blew me way. It was, and is, one of my favorite games of all time. There was just something about that game that pulled me in and made me love it. Even after I found out how many of Duke’s cool lines were stolen from movies, I still loved that game. Something about how it was put together made it a whole quantum level above all the other FPS games out there, and no other FPS I have ever played has quite equaled it in terms of fun value, excitement, and sheer yahoo awesomeness in my mind.

Even incredibly good FPS entries like Half-Life 2 are not awesome in quite the same way. If I had to sum up Duke Nukem 3D’s advantage over all others in one word, it would “personality”.

Being Duke just plain kicked ASS.

So I was one of the people quite eagerly anticipating the next Duke game. And when Duke Nukem Forever was announced, I cheered. And when there was some problems early on, I shrugged and said “Hey, you can’t rush the awesome, man. ”

That, of course, was a long long time ago. Since then, the history of the game has been one long slide from anticipation to patience, anger, disbelief, and finally just bitter laughter and using the game as the ultimate example of total vaporware.

After all that time, I had, like most people in my position, given up on the project as a terrible waste of time a long time ago, and when people said “No really, it’s actually going to come out!” I said “Yeah, right. Pull the other one, it’s got bells on. ”

And when the trailer came out, I ignored it for a week or so, figuring “Why should I watch it? The game can do nothing but suck. ”

But curiosity got the better of me and now…. it’s like all those years are gone and I want my Duke again!

I feel like someone who just got seduced by the terrible spouse who abused them for years and it took a lot of therapy to get over them and had JUST gotten their life back together… and knows they will get hurt again… but just can’t help themselves.

I feel like such a gamer slut!