THERE. I have ordered my usual order (minus a few of the spicier elements) from Pokey Okey and when it gets here I’m a-gonna eat it all up.

This is very significant because I have not had an actual full meal since Sunday night and it is freaking Thursday.

So I need this freaking food. All I have had is the occasional piece of fruit or handful of popcorn or a few leftover Lay’s potato chips.

Better than nothing. But not enough.

In fact, I think the only reason I have not gone into catastrophic hypoglycemia is that I have been way too tired and incoherent to do much of anything, nd therefore I have not been depleting my blood sugars much.

As coping mechanisms go, that one really sucks.

But it got me through a period where I was so incoherent I literally could not put together the sequence of steps it takes to eat food.

Had plenty of food here in the room with me. I could look at it. I could recognize that it was, indeed. food. And I felt some sort of vague pull toward it, like my brain had the dim notion that I should move closer to this object for some reason.

But that’s as far as it got.

The fact that the illness also killed my appetite as well as my judgment and the rest of my higher reasoning faculties did not help at all either.

I chose Pokey Okey specifically because it’s tasty and fresh and jam packed with nutrition and therefore a perfect way to jump start my way back into eating stuff.

Gotta remember to take things slow at first though, or I will crash the system.

Today I had a real fun thing happen : there I was lying in bed and suffering when suddenly I felt a ripple pass through my body and then, like a magic trick, suddenly my entire gut felt like it was fully of wet cement.

This has happened to me before. About a dozen times so far. It’s like my colon falls asleep then suddenly jerks awake and freaks out because like wow, where did all this poop come from all of a sudden?

Holy shit, dude.

So I have been dealing with that all day. Luckily it is the sort of problem that works itself out eventually, even though the trip might kinda suck.

Oh, but that’s not the topper. The topper is that for whatever reason, my inner thighs feel very bruised even though there is absolutely no external sign of bruising.

I give up. Apparently absolutely everything is in play now. I could wake up tomorrow with a third nipple or a second penis or a unicorn horn.

This shit doesn’t even have to make sense any more.

Oh, and today I had possibly the least productive Therapy Thursday ever because I was still too incoherent to put together any therapeutic thoughts.

Normally I am teeming with them, but for Monday, Tuesday, and most of Wednesday, I was barely having thoughts at all.

Mostly I just kind of lay there and suffered.

Hmmm, maybe being completely incoherent was a good thing. Kept me from getting freaked out by how sick I was.

Better Living Through Mental Incoherence. Could be a big hit.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.