Got to see my Luke today. Eeeee!

I was so happy to see him. It can been more than a month. Somehow we were never on Tapestries at the same time.

Well, I say “somehow” but the truth is I am only on there for like an hour and a half a day, when I am eating breakfast.

I used to be there a lot more. But that seems like forever ago now. I would be on there for every meal at a minimum, and sometimes in between as well.

But then being on there and blogging at the same time became too stressful, ergo boom went being on there during lunch and dinner.

I’ve only got so many words to go around. In theory.

Honestly, I am still not sure that was the right decision. But the alternative was to blog in between meals, without the comfort of food to help keep me grounded, and that didn’t seem like a good idea either.

I know that I am feeling the need to be more social lately. I think I have felt that way for a long time but it went against the dogma of my internal regime so I couldn’t actually perceive or acknowledge it.

But I am coming to realize that being mentally occupied with a video game does not actually keep you from being lonely.

It just keeps you from thinking about it.

And the same goes for all the other darker emotions as well. My video game addiction might keep me from thinking about being angry or sad or despairing, but those emotions are there all the same.

One of the things which brought all this to life was that I noticed I was getting this attack of acute emotional pain – fear, anguish, dread all rolled into one – whenever I stopped an activity like blogging or playing video games.

My internal police force cuts the emotion off almost immediately via numbness but for a moment I am in a terrible emotional state.

That must be how I really feel deep down taking advantage of the break in mental preoccupation to be consciously felt for once, if only for a moment.

The video games only treat the symptoms while the disease runs rampant behind the scenes and my deep emotions go berserk in their desperation to be heard.

Sorry about that, deeper self. I will ignore the alarms and try my best to hear you from now on. I have been a neglectful lord numb to the cries of his people and preferring to spend his day in a highly artificial state of peace and calm for far too long.

Not letting you talk because I knew I wouldn’t like what you had to say is not my usual style at all.

So feel free to scream or cry or go on a rampage or whatever else you need to do to make yourself heard and felt at long, long last.

Time for the masks to come off and the dance to end and the guests to show us all who they really are.

We’ve put it off far too long and we’re all so very tired.

Time for this masquerade to end.

More after the break.

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Look ma, no wires!

Been trying to get my new wireless keyboard working.

At first, I thought I was screwed because I bought a Bluetooth keyboard and my computer didn’t even have Bluetooth.

Then I recalled that there was such a thing as a USB to Bluetooth adapter. Found one on Amazon for $10. Groovy.

And I was about to buy it when a niggling little voice in my head asked me if I was sure I didn’t already have one.

Good question. So I checked and lo and behold, this computer DOES have Bluetooth.

Now it was a matter of getting a AAA battery from Joe to power the darn thing. That’s the main thing I don’t like about wireless peripherals : the need for batteries.

Dealing with batteries in this day and age seems so backwards. Like buying games on physical media, or having to find a pay phone.

Anyhow, the battery is in there and ergo the keyboard should be ready to pair with my computer, but my computer ain’t seeing it.

God damn it, why is nothing ever simple?

Dunno what to do now. My knowledge of Bluetooth has been exhausted. If there is a button on the keyboard to make it visible to other devices,, I can’t find it, and it came with absolutely no documentation whatsoever.

It’s this one, by the way.

As you can see, the Verbatim website has no documentation for it either. And there isn’t even a model number on the packaging.

I guess they only sell the one kind of keyboard and mouse combo.

This is what I get for buying the cheapest one on Amazon, I guess.

I guess I have no choice but to google my issue and hope some random Reddit user (Redditor) had the same problem and got a useful answer when they asked about it.

I have had bad luck with that method. For some reason, whatever problem I have with technology always ends up being some kind of bizarre one-off event that mystifies technicians because as far as they know, what I am describing isn’t even possible.

Maybe the universe is trying to force me to develop tech skills. I dunno.

I mean, that’s always been an option for me. I have the right kind of mind for diagnosing and repairing technical problems.

I just don’t have the interest. That does not sound like a fun life to me. Presumably it becomes very easy once you learn the basics and solving the same old issues over and over sounds like a form of hell to me.

I could try learning to code. But I have no inherent interest there either. I lack the motivation to put my mind through that kind of regimentation and segmentation.

So while I have the mental hardware for a life in IT, I would no doubt find it either grindingly dull or migraine inducingly abstract and difficult or both.

Not for me. Sadly.

Maybe I could learn a high level language like Unity so I could make my own weird little video games or visual novels.

Anything is possible.

I will talk to you nicew people again tomorrow.