You’re right, Peter and Spongebob. It doesn’t even matter how hard you try.
Because there is nobody watching and keeping score. Nobody is going to intervene and say, “We can see how hard you’ve been trying, so here’s that thing you wanted so bad. We thought it was only fair that you got it. After all, you earned it. ”
Not gonna happen. You still have to go about things the right way in order to get results.
Look at it this way : say someone wanted to punch a hole through a mountain. And say they were trying to do it by throwing Cheerios at the mountain.
Would it really matter how hard they tried? How good they got at throwing Cheerios? How many courses on Cheerio physics they took? How they could hit the exact same spot on the mountain 1000 times in a row? How they held the world record for the most force applied to a rock surface by a thrown Cheerio? How their dear sainted mother is watching at home and waiting for that first trip through the new tunnel? Would it matter how wonderfully nice they were or how much they “deserved” to succeed?
No, because that’s a fundamentally stupid thing to do and the universe itself does not give you points for effort.
“Earning” things is entirely a human concept. So is justice, and fairness. These principles ultimately function as ways to compel other humans to do things.
If it’s something nobody could actually give you, you better go about getting it the right way, assuming there even is one.
Some things are just plain impossible. That’s not injustice. That’s life.
Maybe there “should” be some guaranteed payout for effort sincerely contributed even if it was not done the smartest way, but there isn’t, and there never will be.
But we fall into the trap of thinking hard work can get us anything because that’s the lie society tells us to keep us “working hard” to make money for our owners while believing they make more than us because they just “work harder”.
That’s more full of crap than a fertilizer factory.
Hence the recurring delusion in straight men that they can “earn” a woman.
This is clearly hogwash, and if you don’t think so, straight boy, tell me what I would have to do to “earn” you?
But the truth – that there is no guaranteed path to sex and/or romance – is simply too hard to bear in a society which judges a man on how hot a chick he can bang.
The truth for both genders is that if you want to find your special someone, the secret is as simple as it is unwelcome : meet new people.
Each new person you meet is a ticket in the romance lottery and just like with the real lottery, the odds are terrible but you have to keep playing to win.
There are things you can do to improve your odds. Be clean. Smell nice. Use good manners. Above all, smother the self-destructive voice in your head trying to goad you into sabotaging yourself so that the anxiety producing situation will be over sooner.
But ultimately, it’s a numbers game.
More after the break.
I am not well
So somewhere around 8:45 pm, I start feeling distinctly unwell.
Came over me suddenly, like a miasma engulfed me. Now my head hurts in that particularly terrible way where something in the “third eye” region of my skull. between and above my eyes, starts throbbi9ng with a very sinister kind of pain that brings with it nausea, dizziness, disorientation, and a feeling like I am trapped in a very hot room that has too little air.
I hate that feeling. So much.
I guess I’ve been blowing my nose more than I usually do lately. It’s kind of hard to te3ll when, like me, your nose never completely stops running.
There’s always at least a little trickle going on, just waiting to get backed up and put me through hell when both my ears and my nose are stuffed up.
No exit. Traffic havoc ensues.
But this feels a little different. I feel like the sinus symptoms are being triggered by something bigger and deeper and darker than mere hay fever.
Possibly that fucked up recurring infection-like thing that hits me like a ton of bricks then disappears a couple days later,. leaving me weaker than before.
That has got to be some autoimmune bullshit right there. Every now and then my body go berserk and attacks itself and does yet more damage to my nerve tissues and muscle fibers and pushes me still further toward that nightmare future when I am strapped down to a bed an full of tubes and my claustrophobia is going absolutely berserk and there is nothing I can do about it.
That’s the nightmare hellscape I need to keep in mind for when I need motivation to live better and get healthy.
That would be a novel and enlightening experience for me because I have never held on to a negative emotion so it can keep motivating me before.
With me, negative emotions tend to get a black silk bag slipped over their heads before being dragged offstage and throttled.
Not a healthy way to live by any stretch of the imagination. I would be far better off listening to what they have to say, even if it makes me scared and/or anxious, and doing the best I can to really hear the message.
I’m so very Seventies. Like wow, far fuckin’ out, man.
I realized earlier today that I still have Seventies dreams of getting together with some people with open hearts and open minds and just like., you know,. encounter each other. Be human with one another and try our best to really relate to one another in a safe environment of love and nurturing and kindness and understanding.
Like, pull up some floor and sit and tell us absolutely everything you feel the need to tell anybody and I promise we will listen, not judge, and embrace you afterwards, and tell you how happy we are that you shared that with us.
I swear it can really happen! But only if we make it happen.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.