OK, let’ ee how far I can get.
Well, at around midnight last night, thing began to seriousl6 suck.
It started as an uneasy feeling, like this was the point in the horror movie where the heroine first begins to suspect something really bad is going to happen.
And got worse from there. Before long I was lying on my bed pretty incoherent from th4 feeling of illness.
That’s when I very reluctantly had to beg off hanging out in the living room with Le Gang because I was just too ill.
Thus began a lazy pas de deux where I drifted in and out of mental coherence.;It was all very dreamlike and surreal. Every now and then I would be compos mentis enough to realize I needed water badly – I was terribly dehydrated.
It was very had o focus enough to do things. It’s like I would set out toward some goal and immediately lose focus and have to start over, and just keep at that until I got there.
That’s why it took me more than an hour to get from lying down in bed to sitting up in front of the computer.
That’s how I got here.
I’m doing better than I was last night, but that’s not saying much. I have managed to get some sunflower seeds and trail mix into me.
It’s not nearly enough, but it’s a lot better than nothing. I wish I could eat the other half of my Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s Melt from last night, but just thinking of taking a bite out of it makes me feel like I’m gonna puke.
I ate an orange earlier. That was good. Tasty and made me feel healthier too.
Yay Vitamin C!
Dunno if I will make it to 500 words. My general feeling of unwellness seems to be creeping up i me
Wish there was someone around to get me water and fruit and the like. But J&J are off to Joe’s parents’ place to play board games like they do every Saturday night.
I am so used to doing eerything myself that it would never occur to me to ask someone to hang around just for me.
I mean… that’s not a thing peope do, right? Sacrifice their own convenience and effort in order to look after a sick friend?
The very idea seems bizarre to me. How could you even ask for such an outrageous indulgence? How could you be so selfish as to make people neglect you in an obvious way? How very cruel.
I’m exaggerating, of course, but you know, in other kinds of family,. people look aftr each other like that all the time, as a matter of course.
And these are the people we middle class types manage to feel superior to when they are a hell of a lot gentle, warm, human, and loyal than we’ll ever be.
Personally, I would happily trade my middle class lifestyle for he feelin of being cared for.by people who love me.
More after the break.
The big decision
Well I can’t avoid it any longer. Time to face the truth.
I really should get my butt to the ER
Not that I want to go. The ER is a drag man .,All that waiting and all the tension and worry in the air and having to pout my brai in Hospital Mode for enormous swathes of time while my brain feels ike it’s slowly oozing out my ears.
But I have felt quite lousy for almost 24 hours now. I have spent all day nauseous, dizzy, weak, and above all dehydrated. I have not had nearly enough to eat or drink and I haven’t taken any of my medications,
Isn’t itgreat how being sick makes you do things, like not eating or getting enough fluids, that make you sicker? Fun.
I’m having trouble reading the text on my monitor and everything seems too bright. My muscles feel swollen, stuff, and “rusty”.
I definitely feel like I have a case of inflammation of the everything.
So by all rights and the tenets of basic comon sense, I should go o the ER/
But I don’t wanna.
And when I feel this crappy, common sense has an uphill battle to be heard. I feel cranky and peevish and irrational. and not at all like hauling butt to the ER.
I just want to lay down in the dark and hide from the world and all its painful stimulation.
I wanted to ve hooked up to IV fluids, stat. I desperately need hydration and it does not seem like I’m going to get it the usual way.
Not unless I somehow rig me a situation where I can get and drink more water literally whenever I want to.
Then I might be able to catch up with my hydration needs.
I assume that I dehydrate so fast because I am running a fever. Which is another potentially worrying symptom to add to the file.
The thing is, none of my myriad of symptoms are particularly severe. That’s why I can dither over this issue. If I was in a lot of pain and distress, it would not even be an issue, I would have gone ages ago.
But as is typical for me, it’s all kind of diffident and noncommital. I’m definitely not well but I am not SUPER sick and it would be all too easy to just take a “wait and see” approach, hoping for something more definitive to come along.
Like keeling over. That would be a clear message.
Honestly, I think I will end up waiting and seeing regardless. I will see how I feel tomorrow afternoon and make my decision based on that.
Of course, I could just wait till Monday, when the hospital will be WAY less crowded..
That would probably be pretty god damned stupid of me.
But that doesn’t mean I ain’t gonna do it.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.