T God DAMN it.
I should not be typing this into an Office Libra (or whatever) document right now.
I fucking renewed the domain this morning, and for a while it was working. The blog came up no problem, and I immediately started cutting and pasting the blog entries I have written in LibreCuba (or whatever) into the blog and backdating them and all that good stuff.
BTW, for future reference, the previously missing blog posts start on January 6. Enjoy catching up.
Anyhow, right in the middle of getting the blog all caught up, the fucking thing herniates and goes back to saying my domain has expired.
Um, no it fucking hasn’t. In fact, when I go to the Control Panel for my website, it says right there that my domain is good till January 1, 2025.
So what gives, FatCow? Did a case of Fat Cow Disease scramble your brains? Did you do a restore from backup and forget to check the financial records? Have the Martians finally caught up to me and this is the first sign of the coming Alien Apocalypse!f!?!
Having not heard from you on this subject, I am forced to assume the answer is “yes”.
I have emailed FatCow support about the problem. And I am proud of myself for starting the email by saying, “I am very upset. (line break)
Yay for me actually expressing non-sunshiny emotions at the right time and occasion.
And it’s true. I am. I thought I had finally solved this shit but no, something had to come along and piss on my Wheaties yet again.
This is why I have trust issues. Deep, deep trust issues.
No matter how hard I try to cover all the bases, something beyond my ability to predict and/or control always pops up to screw me over.
I guess whatever comes up, I’ll just deal with it.
Meanwhile, in the other realm
I have reached the “everything goes to hell and the city’s on fire” part of the game I have been playing, Dragon Age 2.
No dragons so far. I ain’t holding my breath.
Anyhow, it seems like all these RPGs will inevitably have a part like that. I suppose once one game did it, other dev teams saw it and went “Wow, what a great way to raise the stakes!” and now they all have to do it or the other dev teams will make fun of them or something.
Right now I am stuck on a very difficult fight. I have to fight the leader of the Qunari in my city, who is known as the Arishok, and I can handle the sea of minions he throws at me, but he is one tough hombre who can plow through my people like a bowling ball, and so I am stuck for now.
I am very disappointed to be fighting him. In our previous encounters, he seemed like a pretty cool dude. Serious and intense, but a pretty decent and sensible leader, and also kinda hot.
Mostly because he has this amazingly deep and expressive voice that conveys so much of the character’s weariness and long-suffering boredom so well.
He is voiced by Rick D. Wasserman, who did a hell of a job.
I am just sad that, despite all my attempts to keep the peace between the citizens of my city and the Qunari (big tall grey dudes with horns), it still has to end in violence and blood and me ending up having to kill a fuckton of Qunari.
But it seems like this uprising was the Arishok’splan all along. He wanted an excuse to rise up and slaughter all the various humans, elves, dwarves, and so on surrounding his compound, and pulled strings behind the scenes to make sure he got one.
I am so disappointed in him.
More after the break.
It’s still gone
Blog ain’t back yet. Grrrrr.
They have my money now I want my god damned blog back!
I miss it. I miss being able to drop YouTube links and images into the text. I miss the familiar (if imperfect) WordPress interface. I miss the feeling of connection with you wonderful readers.
If it doesn’t rectify soon, I am going to have to do the thing I thought I had successfully dodged, namely calling the 1-800 line and talking to a live human being.
The thing is, in my head I know it will not be that bad. I am actually pretty good on the phone. Likeable, charming in my goofy kinda way, articulate and funny. Just like in real life.
But the Trog don’t care. It doesn’t matter what I “know” to be true because the diseased parts of my deeper mind are immune to logic and reason and they are always on the scene first with the fear and the anxiety and the dread.
Oh, the dread. So much dread.
I keep telling myself that I have nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to fear these simple social interactions that are practically nonevents to healthy, robust people.
It’s not like they ever go badly. They always go just fine. And it’s not like I don’t have all the skills needed to navigate them easily.
But the fear and the dread are always there anyhow, making things harder for me than they need to be. There have been so many times in my life where a social interaction would have gone much easier and been a lot less stressful if I hadn’t had a big panic attack blaring like an oversensitive smoke detector in my ears and throughout my mind making it really hard to concentrate on the here and now.
And that describes pretty much every moment I spent at Kwantlen and VFS. From the moment I entered to the moment I left, I was having a low-grade panic attack which occasionally surged to full strength depending on what was going on.
Makes the fact that I still excelled in all my studies all the more impressive, no?
Makes me wish I had just had a huge ego instead. Would have protected me much better.
I guess it’s not too late…
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.