I am worried that I might be skirting the edges of pneumonia.
It started this morning. I was having breakfast and hugging fuzzies like I usually do at 8 am when I realized I needed to get up and refill my water glass.
No big deal. I do this like half a dozen times a day.
And everything seemed to go normally until I sat back down again and realized that my heart was pounding, my breathing was labored, and I felt terrible.
I was also really tired. Like something was draining the energy right out of me. And once I was sitting again, I realized that the whole little trip had felt strangely effortful at the time but I had ignored it.
So after pondering it for a while, I canceled today’s Wound Care.
Seems to happen once every six weeks or so.
I was left pondering what the heck was wrong. It definitely felt very bad. My chest had that full, heavy, rigid feeling that I associate with things like pneumonia and other lung ailments, and that of course had my worried.
Then I decided to lay down for a bit. And that made another problem pop up.
For a few weeks now, I have not been able to lay on my back for very long before it becomes hard to breathe.
Good thing I sleep on my front.
But when I lay down this morning, I found that I was becoming out of breath just from lying there doing nothing at all.
That was pretty scary. I contemplated getting Julian to take me to the ER. If I really was coming down with pneumonia, it would be best to get right on it this time.
I didn’t go. But I still might. I got my breathing under control eventually via my breathing exercises but I still feel pretty much exactly like I did this morning.
So I guess my “plan” is to wait and see if things get worse or otherwise change alarmingly. This could just be a summer chest cold and I will get over it within a couple of days or so.
But of course, if things get worse I will get my butt to the ER ASAP. I don’t want a repeat of that time when the triage nurse took one look at my blood oxygen level and instinctively turned the monitor’s screen away from me.
That shouldn’t seem funny to me, I know, but it does. It was at that point that I realized I was maybe in some serious trouble and that it was very good that I had listened to the voice in my head that said, “No. Go to the ER. This isn’t normal.”
Referring to how I was feeling, obviously. If I had not listened to that voice, I would have gone to Denny’s with Le Gang like I had planned and Lord knows what would have become of me after that.
The phrase “pulmonary arrest” comes to mind.
That’s like a heart attack, but for your lungs. Bad news.
An argument could be made that I am in a similar position now. I don’t feel as bad as I did then but I sure as fuck don’t feel good.
These kids of issues always mess with my head as I try to navigate the narrow channel between rational self-interest and hypochondria.
Man does it suck to be crazy.
Oh, and my tablet is refusing to charge at all again. I managed to get it working for a month or two recently but at the moment it is moribund.
Can’t even use it while it’s plugged in. When I try, it just dies and reboots every minute or so, which is worse than not working at all.
So I might have to order that new battery for it after all.
Ain’t life a peach.
More after the break.
Feeling like a slab
Right now, I feel like a slab of sick meat.
Just a uniform, vaguely rectangular slab of extremely low grade meat insufficiently refrigerated in the back of a bad restaurant’s walk in freezer.
I really do paint pictures with words, don’t I?
I feel a little bit better than I did earlier. My chest doesn’t feel nearly as solidly congested and sore, but my nose is running and I had a nosebleed earlier.
Those last two things combined led to something too gross to recount.
So maybe whatever has gone wrong with me today is on it way up before heading out. Its last stop will presumably involve it making my scalp sneeze.
Should be quite the experience.
Of course, the thing really making me feel better is that the sun finally went down so it is finally cooling off.
Heat is bad, mmmkay?
For me, summer afternoons are always a dangerous time. I have fans but all they really do is move the hot air around.
And I have a window wide open in my bathroom but there is no airflow through the bedroom in order to move hot air out and cooler air in.
In order to get that, I would have to leave my bedroom door open, and then my computer audio and Julian’s computer audio interfere with one another.
If only we could let the air through but keep the sound in!
I could get headphones for my computer. But I don’t want to. I don’t like wearing headphones. Even cute little earbuds bother me. They always end up getting all sweaty and gross and then I have to take them off anyhow.
And playing my games with the volume turned down would be even worse.
So I dunno. Maybe I should finally get around to getting air conditioning. I might even be able to get the Province to pay for it.
I could definitely make the case that a portable AC unit for this bedroom would greatly reduce the stress on my weak and vulnerable body.
And that’s bound to improve outcomes AND my quality of life.
Works for me!
Now I just have to follow through on this…. hmmmm….
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.