I’m thinking I need to rethink them.
First I have Wound Care. And that involves a journey from the parking lot up to the Community Care Clinic, and that’s not short.
Not by my fucked up standards, anyhow.
And then there’s the trip back down to the car.
And then, at 2:30 pm, I have my shower at Rosewood. And that involves going from the front of Rosewood all the way to the back, where the shower room is located.
And then, after the shower, the return trip to the lobby.
And I think that’s just too much for my poor compromised legs. Today. when I made the trip from the shower room back to the lobby, my legs were hurting so bad that I was worried they were going to give out on me, and indeed, when I got to the lobby I didn’t so much sit in the chair as I fell into it.
This is not good.
Oh, and today I also did my banking in between Wound Care and Rosewood, and that added to my mileage too, though not as much as the other two.
No wonder my legs were very angry with me. I did a lot of walking with my walker today and that pissed my legs off so bad that they almost went on strike.
This is the sort of thing that really rams home the fact that I am disabled. At home, I spend most of my time sitting or lying down, and so the only times I use my legs are when I go to the bathroom or the kitchen.
Two places at opposite ends of the same process.
But when I have to actually use these malfunctioning pegs of mine, the truth of my debility rears its ugly head and forces me to deal with it.
I can see only one solution to this Friday problem and it’s not one I relish :
I’m going to have to get Albert to push me in a wheelchair.
And thus, it begins. I knew that I would end up in a wheelchair sooner or later as my mysterious illness progresses.
For now, the walker will do for most things. But by the time I get to Rosewood, my legs are on their last legs (ha) and making the trip via walker is downright dangerous.
I could have taken a nasty fall today. The kind that really messes you up. The kind from which you never really recover.
There are worse places than an old folk’s home for that to happen in, mind you. I imagine falls are something they deal with fairly often.
Sometimes I just want to wrap old people in bubble wrap.
Anyhow, so yeah. I think I am going to have to ask Albert to push me to the shower room and back in a wheelchair.
Rosewood has lots of them, of course. Overall it seems to be a very good nursing home. Clean, well lit, soothing and gentle décor, bright and efficient staff, and an overall vibe of wholesome good health and good cheer.
I can only imagine that it ain’t cheap.
I’m not ready for the nursing home just yet, of course. In fact, one of the nice things about going to Rosewood is that it sure makes me feel young.
Oh, and one random thing I feel compelled to note :
When I was sitting in the lobby, an old fella said hello to me in a very cheerful way
And when I was making my way from the lobby to the shower room, a random old Korean lady said hello to me too
I of course said hello back both times. I am meticulous in my manners, after all. But it made me wonder what about me had changed to make myself so approachable.
Oh, and of course, both times I had to frigging stifle my social anxiety and stuff it in a box. But I am getting better and better at that.
I’m actually a friendly, lovable, sociable guy when the anxiety doesn’t get in the way. After all, before the rape, I was a very charismatic and friendly child.
So I am making it my mission to grind away at that stupid aversion until I can just be my sunshiny lovable self without my unwanted passenger making life hard for me.
Go away, Avoidance. You’re not welcome here any more!
More after the break.
Brown trousers again
Had a fecal incident earlier.
But this time, I woke up right before it, and so I was able to minimize the damage to my bedding via LOTS of Kleenex.
I have to wonder if it is somehow related to my extra effort today. Like all the walker-ing caused problems in all the muscles of my lower half, or maybe started something happening in my spine, or somesuch.
Now the standard disclaimer : if it happens AGAIN, I will take it to the ER or UC.
I think I would be marginally less embarrassed to tell the intake lady at the ER I have been pooping the bed than some stranger at UC.
Not that I know the intake lady personally. But the ER is a much more familiar environment for me and that would be a lot to a nervous nelly like me.
That place is like a second home to me, sadly enough.
Though I have managed to stay out of it for a while now.
Let’s call that progress, and move on.
Computer continues to shit the bed (how apropos) now and then. Moreso with Kingmaker than Odyssey, which is odd, because Odyssey, like all Assassin’s Creed games, takes place in a 3D open world with tons of freedom of movement, so it should be a lot more demanding on Mister Computer’s resources.
But then again, it’s by gaming giant Ubisoft, and Kingmaker is by a scrappy indie studio called Owlcat Games, so maybe it’s a matter of Ubi being able to afford to do way more testing before they ship.
Oh well. I will get that new power supply some day.
But not any time soon.
Fucking five week months!
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.