Happy Foxing Day, everybody!
Yes, this is that magical day of the year where we celebrate all things vulpine. We foxes are a special bunch (the good, non short bus kind of special) and this is the day when we get together to sing Foxing carols (bring ear protection), exchange Foxing Day gifts, and enjoy one another’s company.
And we’re even so magnanimous and awesome that we let everyone else celebrate us on this day too!
We even let them get the name wrong. We’re just that amazing!
So get together with the fox or foxes you love (everyone has at least one!), give them lots of attention, and don’t forget to greet one another with a hearty, “Fox you!”
Well that was fun.
Random symptom of the day : muscle stiffness. Getting up out of this computer chair earlier made me feel like I was minutes away from having to shout, “Oil can!”.
Otherwise I seem to have made it through Xmas okay. I dodged my depression and did what I could to stay in a positive frame of mind, and of course I spent most of the day deeply involved in my latest video game.
Just like every other day of the god damned year. I just had one more thing to shut out and ignore than usual.
Piece o’ cake. It’s the part I was born to play.
No Therapy Thursday today, or last week. Last week he was away and this week he is mourning a death in the family and because he is deeply Jewish he is “sitting shiva(sp)?” and the funeral was last Sunday, so he will be doing that until sunrise on the Sabbath, aka Saturday.
I am inordinately proud of the fact that I remembered the name of their traditional period of mourning despite only knowing of it from one episode of Fraiser and another of Northern Exposure and possibly a mention of it by some old Borsht Belt comedian.
What can I say, I learned a lot about the world through television. TV was not just my parent and my family, it was also my tutor.
Anyhow, I am proud that I remembered the word and used it unprompted in my phone conversation with Doctor Costin where he told me about why no therapy today, thus demonstrating my cultural sensitivity.
You have to take your little “wins” where you can find them.
My sisters Anne and Catherine both gave me $100 in virtual gift certificates for Amazon this year, and miracle of miracles, they were both for the SAME Amazon, Amazon.ca.
You know. The right one.
Why make me have to deal with import fees and all that crap?
It should be interesting to see how Trump reacts to the realization that Canada and the USA are basically conjoined twins and they can’t hurt us without hurting themselves too.
Who am I kidding? He’ll never realize that because it would imply that it is possible for him to be wrong about something and that is clearly absurd.
2025 is going to be ever so much fun.
Dunno what I will do with my Amazon windfall. I “should” probably use it to get a new and much beefier power supply for Mister Computer so that I can hopefully solve that nasty “crashing when it uses the graphics card” problem.
But that’s boring. And it’s a problem that is not a problem most of the time because of how old the games I play are.
Divinity : Original Sin is from 2015. That’s slightly less than ten years ago.
And there is nothing 3D about it, so I am good.
So the power supply thing can maybe wait.
Then again, what the hell else am I going to spend it on?
I stagger around
Just got back to the computer after getting supper together, and boy are my arms (and the rest of me) tired.
My heart is pounding and I have a slight headache. Overall, not a fun time to be me.
By the time I sat down again, I was starting to feel a little dizzy, which led to me not so much sitting as slouching in a slovenly fashion into the chair.
And that’s a little worrisome because I am all by myself right now. So if I took a tumble there would be nobody to call to for help unless I could get to a phone.
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Oh well, no harm done. Maybe some day I will need 24 hour care but for the time being I can more or less take care of myself.
Not that I don’t appreciate all the help Julian gives me, of course.
I’ve realized that I have become reluctant to talk about how I feel in any detail. I guess that’s always been true to a certain extent.
I am much better at talking about my feelings in the past tense. Which in the past have been rather tense.
But it’s become more of a thing lately because my mood has been destabilized by the slight lowering of my Paxil dosage. As a result, it’s hard for me to say how I feel. There’s always a high level of flux in my mood now.
Not to the point of actual mood swings, at least not yet. And I am fairly confidant that as my emotional resources are loosened up, I am learning to put them to good use.
But it’s a process as slow as sunrise and just as inevitable.
I can handle the confusion. It still feels good to feel. The more of my emotions I can thaw out of that glacier of a heart of mine, the more awake and real I feel, and hopefully I will eventually sink my hooks into the here and now and finally have some kind of anchor in the real world.
Being untethered to the real world is great for imagination and vision, but at some point you want to be able to stop treading water and sleep on land.
And now for a nice, dry nap.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.