You know, like Hoth.
But yeah, it’s a cold world here at Fru Central. Cold air keeps leaking in from the gaps around the window panes of this big beautiful window right in front of me, and while I love the natural light it lets in, I’m not as fond of the natural coldness.
So I am probably gonna buy a space heater off of Amazon soon.
Yes, I know, it’s obscene the way Bezos is cozying up to Trump, but that prick knows he has us all completely dependent on Amazon now so he can do whatever the fuck he wants and we’re still gonna buy from him.
Like Colbert said recently, what else are we going to do? Go to the store?
Do they even still have those?
Back to heating. A space heater is an inefficient solution to the problem of this computer station of mine being too fucking cold. I’ve dealt with space heaters before and yes they are very good at heating space but the trick is getting that heat to where it needs to go.
So I will be looking for a unit with a fan. Like a giant hair dryer. But for rooms.
Even with a fan you have to be super careful with those things. Put them in the wrong place or point them in the wrong direction and you can end up melting the paint off a wall, utterly wrecking a poster, or even end up setting the place ablaze.
Plus there’s the fact that we will be paying for the electricity to run the damned thing when this room should be properly thermally sealed instead.
Insert my standard grumble about how nobody on the Wet Coast knowns how to deal with the cold.
Anyhow, as inefficient a solution as a space heater is, I don’t see another alternative. I can’t tape up the gaps around the window panes myself, and I am not going to rearrange my room so that my computer desk faces the opposite wall.
As nice a thought as that is right now.
And this is how cold I am with the heat in this room turned all the way up. I shudder to think of how cold I would be if I turned the heat down.
Luckily, this is BC, we have hydro, it’s cheap, so the power bill is not that steep.
Still, having to have the heat up that high just to survive galls me.
I keep having to crawl into bed just to get under the covers and away from that window so I can warm the fuck up.
And of course, I end up sleeping because that’s what I normally do when I lie down and get under the covers. It’s a patterned reflex.
So I have slept for most of the daylight hours of today so far, and a good chunk of last night too. And I know I will go right back into bed when I am finished with my words.
I’ll probably end up napping until it’s time to go to Denny’s.
Another cold place, come to think of it. They always have the AC turned up to “arctic spring” levels for some reason.
So we all just keep our jackets on when we’re there. Which is kind of weird but what the hell, we love Denny’s and they love us.
We’re there every Sunday night and we’re pleasant, easy to get along with, understanding customers who tip well, so we’re favored customers.
And they give us good food at a good price and great service so it’s our little “third location” home away from home.
Well, second location for us unemployed folk.
Some day, I will climb out of this pit and join the world.
But for now I just need a nap.
More after the break.
So damned tired
And all I did was go to Denny’s.
But that involved getting dressed (damn coat zipper) , walkering down to the car, then making it from the car to our seat in the back of Denny’s, then doing all that in reverse to get back home, plus a trip to the Denny’s handicapped washroom to pee. and all this done under the adverse condition of it being frigging cold.
All of that combined is enough to make me feel very tired and my lungs are hurting and my heart is pounding and I feel like I have taken a light but thorough beating.
All from what was, for most people, a negligible amount of activity.
I mean, pampered celebrities living in the lap of luxury do as much as I did.
So it’s been one of those times when the painful truth of being disabled really hits home for me. When I am not pushing myself, it’s easy to forget how sick I am most of the time.
But at times like this, and to a lesser extent every time I come back from the kitchen, the fact that I’m a cripple is painfully emphasized.
Which is why I dream of having a personal assistant some day. One I am paying out of my own money. That would greatly increase my feelings of empowerment and independence and competence and decrease my feeling of being a dependent burden on those around me.
It kind of helps to think of myself as my roommates’ pet. Cute and lovable and a valuable part of the household even though I cost them time and labour.
At least I mostly pay for myself. Well, the province does, anyhow.
The important part is that I’m not a financial burden on my friends.
Anyhow, the fact that my disability subjectively disappears while I am doing my main two activities, namely using my computer and lying in bed, makes it very easy to forget that I am any different from everybody else.
Physically, that is.
But experiences like tonight scare and depress me because it brings it all home to me. My body does not work right and that’s only going to get worse, not better, with time.
It makes me feel like I am on an island slowly becoming submerged as the water levels rise and I can fool myself into forgetting about it because hey, my house isn’t flooded yet, but the truth is I am going to drown sooner or later no matter what.
Anyone know where I can get a houseboat?
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.