My state is Minnesota. They seem nice.
Been ill today. Missed Wound Care as a result. Woke up feeling very hot, but that’s fairly normal for me.
I sleep hot.
But when I still felt like bacon would sizzle if it touched my skin an hour after getting up, I knew something was up. Something not good.
That’s when I took stock of myself and realized I also felt light-headed and disoriented and that my mind fog was much denser than usual. And I had a headache.
So I spent most of this morning with one toe out the door to go to the hospital if things took a turn for the worse.
Standard whine : I don’t wanna go. The ER is so boring and depressing. That would be the one time I would wish my tablet was in working order.
Otherwise, I am still quite convinced I am better off without it.
Then again, if I got it fixed, I could just have it around for emergencies. There’s no reason I would have to go back to being such a video game junkie that the moment I’m in bed I’ve got the god damned thing in my hands and I am playing some mindless and manipulative Android game.
Man, I do not miss that.
Well, except for the crosswords. Those were fun. And not designed to psychologically torture money out of you.
I ain’t ever playing that kind of “free” game again.
Not even on the PC. I downloaded a free MMORPG called Guild Wars 2 recently because the description made it sound good and it looked fun, then I played it for like 20 minutes and that was long enough for me to remember that I actually hate that kind of game and wonder WTF I was thinking.
Some lessons I have to periodically relearn, it seems.
For instance, that I really do not like corned beef. It sounds like the sort of thing I would like, which is why I keep forgetting that I don’t like it, but it’s actually quite gross.
Anyhow. Back to me.
I seem to be getting over whatever it is, knock on wood. I still feel pretty gross overall but I’ve been hydrating aggressively and that has kept the feverishness at bay.
I really need to get the medical kind of thermometer. I would really like to know whether or not I actually have a fever when I feel like this.
Knowing my life, the answer will be “no” and I will be left with a mystery as to how I can feel so hot without running a fever.
Wait, come to think of it, that could be from an inflammatory response.
It could also be from dehydration. My system is very unforgiving on that front. Falling behind on refueling my sweat glands can really fuck me up.
Well given how much I pee, I guess that’s not a surprise.
All that fluid has to come from somewhere
What else… did Therapy Thursday. I was not in an introspective mood, so it was slow going at first.
I’ve not been feeling introspective at all lately. That’s why these blog entries have been somewhat breezier and chattier than usual.
I don’t want to dive deep into the mucky waters of my fractured mind. I want to frolic about on the surface like a frisky seal.
I need time on the surface to dry out, groom my fur, and soak up some rays as I enjoy the benefits of having gone deep to dislodge more encrusted emotions.
With every successful dive, I free up more space in my mind for me to be able to think and breathe and grow and overall just be me.
It’s a long and tortuous process, like tunneling your way out of prison, but it will all be worth it when I am finally free.
And it’s not like I have anything better to do.
In the next section, the dumb things I have been doing lately.
More after the break.
Hard to swallow
In this case, quite literally.
So I take a nap, get up, get some water, and take a big gulp.
And damn near choke on it.
Somehow, in my sleep, something caused my throat to swell up and make it very hard for me to swallow anything.
Nothing goes down easy, not even liquids.
This was and is, to put it very mildly, rather alarming.
It’s eased off somewhat since then, thank God, because if it hadn’t I would be in the ER right now. Not being able to swallow is kind of an emergency, especially if I can’t even get liquids into me.
The only treatment for that would be to get me in a hospital bed and give me all my meals via IV drip.
Wow that would suck. I love food. Me and food go way back. We’ve had great times together, food and I.
Anyhow, I am doing better now. I can drink fluids, though I can feel some resistance. And I can eat food, though each bite burns a little going down.
Before I discovered my swallowing problem, I was thinking I had a nasty case of heartburn. And I was paying close attention to that.
After all, nobody has looked at my heart lately, and heart diseases runs in the family.
Hell, it gallops.
In fact, that initial, ill-fated sip of water was meant to hopefully dilute the acid in my esophagus and relieve said heartburn.
But then I got sidetracked by swallowing issues.
All in all, today has been kind of fucked up. Weird health shit appearing and disappearing at a much faster rate than usual.
I hope things settle down because it’s putting a serious strain on my ability to not freak out about things. A much younger me would have been panicked by these weird and distressing incidents, and that, of course, would make everything much much worse.
Right now, I am back to “one toe out of the door and on the way to the ER” mode.
Dear body : please be nice.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.