Hey look, a topic! Let’s see if I get back to it after today’s vid.
Warning : I sang again.
And yup. I definitely sing better without the karaoke music distracting me.
In theory, I could now add the music from the karaoke version I found online and try to get it to sync with my acapella version and make a more complete version that way.
But meh. I kind of like my stripped down version.
Plus I only have so much energy I can put into these things.
Makes me really, really wish I had a partner or assistant in all of this so that it wasn’t all dependent on my own personal resources.
I need a team, dammit. Or some really advanced AI. But preferably the AI because I am sick of my mental illness forcing me to do everything all by myself all the time.
I can work with others! No, really!
I just hope that having a team wouldn’t make me go mad with power.
Speaking of which….
Yes, I’m gonna take another crack at my feeling of being so much more powerful than the other humans with which I share this globe.
I know I’ve felt this way since I was a child. Like I was towering over others intellectually, in not just a quantitative but also a qualitative way, and that I had to step very carefully so I did non end up crushing the Lilliputians that surrounded me.
The sense of responsibility, therefore, is overpowering. Crushing, even. It’s left me scared to make a move a lot of the time.
Or that I at least need one of those “truck backing up” sirens.
The obvious answer to this crushing sense of responsibility for the power I wield would be to decide that I don’t give a shit about the Lilliputians any more, they can look after themselves, and I am going to walk the planet like the gargantuan genius I am and screw the consequences to other people.
And I still hold on to that as an option. At the very least, I should consider just how much of my sensation of enormity is justified as oppose to, say, insane.
I can’t really see a way to escape the truth of my own power. It could very well be that if I go out into the world that someone will finally put me in my place and show me that I am not all that smart after all and quite frankly that would be a huge relief.
But my life’s pattern has been the opposite. Not even university offered me a challenge. I thought rings around my professors just like I did with my teachers. Nobody I met there was remotely in the same weight class as my big bad brain.
I can’t be the smartest person in the world, can I? It’s so unlikely.
Speaking of university, I took a stab at figuring out a distance learning solution for myself yesterday only to come up upon a rather huge problem :
If it’s distance learning, I could theoretically go to literally any university in the world.
So how the hell do I pick one??
I know I want to study psychology, with the aim of become a therapist. Although there’s a lazy side of me that just wants to be a pampered academic somewhere.
Why yes, I’d love to work for your think tank. Tell me what you want us to recommend.
Oh well, at least I have moved my playing piece one square closer to the finish line by looking into the matter.
I just want to get paid to be smart, dammit.
Surely a mind like mine has some sort of economic value.
I wanna get paid.
More after the break.
Quick product review
More of a warning, really.
President’s Choice Mini Poppadoms Creamy Garlic Flavour are delicious but they are not, I repeat, NOT SUBTLE.
More like getting kicked in the mouth by a horse made of flavour.
I should have known. After all, this is a product aimed at people from India. Of course it’s going to be rather intense.
Their taste buds are not calibrated like ours.
Have you ever tried their “sweets”? Holy diabetes, Batman.
Like I said, they’re delicious, so I will finish them.
But like…. very slowly.
About my education
Off the top of my head, I have no idea how I would decide what university to get my remote learning psych degree from.
I guess I could look for a list of the top schools for psych and then apply to the number one school and work my way down the list.
I’m not afraid of rejection. I can live with it. I’m um, not to everyone’s tastes.
But those who like me like me a LOT.
Of course, it would have to be a school that offers remote learning. Looking back in time, I really should have tried this during Covid, when ALL learning was remote.
Attending classes via Zoom is okay with me. I wonder if Zoom has the equivalent of raising your hand when you want to ask a question?
Then again, presumably raising your hand would still work too.
I’m always so um, “eager to contribute”.
Watching prerecorded lectures is fine by me too. Better than fine because it lets me go back and see bits I’m interested in again and really make sure that the knowledge sinks into my capacious noggin.
Obviously I am not worried about grades. I test well.
I suppose it’s possible that I would find some challenge in the work, at least once I got into junior and senior years.
But it’s also possible I would breeze through effortlessly like I always do. Maybe if I went on to get my Master’s, I would find challenge there.
I’d want my Master’s if I planned to be a therapist.
Still not sure on that. I’d make a good one but I might be too old and tired to get into something fairly intensive like that.
Perhaps the life of pampered academia is my true calling after all.
It certainly has a nice ring to it.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.