I decided that today was a good day for some spleen venting.
And you all get to hear it!
Oh well, beats me ranting at you in person, I guess.
Anyhow, here it is :
I wonder if I could write a book about how to be positive when you’re Gen X.
A lot of us are around my age and starting to look back on our lives and see a lot of being cranky and difficult and thinking, “And what did all that get me? A heart attack, a divorce, and kids that hate me for good reason. ”
Or something like that. I’m spitballing here.
So maybe now is the time to finally give being positive a chance. Yes, we all grew up with “Have a nice day!” and all that rainbows and unicorns fake positivity and the world of advertising trying to get excited over inane crap, but that stuff’s way back in the rearview mirror now and maybe, just maybe, those dipshits had a point.
All that snarky sarcasm only really makes sense if you’re fighting a defensive battle against a sea of shallow stupidity, and in case you haven’t noticed, that sea ain’t here anymore and our angst is increasingly absurd without it.
So what the hell. Maybe it’s time to give cheerfulness a try.
But I know that won’t be easy for us. I can’t imagine a day when all that “be positive” bullshit doesn’t make me wanna roll my eyes and growl. Certainly I am never going to be on board with all that “live your best life” and “carpe diem” crap.
Of course you’re living your best life, Oprah, you’re a fucking billionaire.
As for Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society with all that “carpe diem” stuff, I’m sorry, professor, but I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.
Seize what? and how? I need details dammit.
Don’t get me started. Those are rants for another day.
So how do I smuggle positivity past all my spiky angry defenses?
I only have one idea for that : spite.
Be positive to spite the world that’s trying to hard to bring you down. Use being upbeat and cheerful as a big middle finger to this dark and depressing world. Prove to the world that it doesn’t get to dictate who you are or how you feel.
I don’t know if this approach would work for anyone but me. In fact, I am not sure it will even work for me, to be honest.
But it’s all I’ve got so far.
At least I am finally trying to tackle all my latent rage. Like I allude to in the vid,I thought of the subject of today’s vid and how angry it made me and thought, “Wait a minute, that’s something I can vlog about and maybe do myself some good!”.
So, there it is, me baring my guts as usual.
You know, being really brutally honest and open and vulnerable seems to be very popular online. Especially with comedians.
So it’s occurred to me that it could be my lack of normal social boundaries due to way less than normal socialization as a child could be the key to my success.
There would be a certain justice to that, it’s true.
On a deep level I honestly don’t know any better. For whatever reason, I am an inherently overt person. I don’t hide what I do or who I am, I hate having secrets, I don’t give a flying fuck what people think of me, and I am honestly so pathetically needy that I would tell anything to anyone just to keep them paying attention to me.
Oy, do I have issues.
More after the break.
Watch them dance!
Check out this parrot dance.
Those are some very impressive moves!
The soft cell
No, not these lucky gentlemen :
No, the cell of which I speak is the cell phone Joe was super nice enough to buy me!
I really do have the awesomest friends ever.
So I have finally, at long last, joined the millennium and become a cell phone user.
I haven’t gotten one before now because we have a landline and that’s what I am used to and so it didn’t seem like it would be worth the money to get and pay for a cell phone just so I could make phone calls during those brief times when I am not home.
But over the years, the inability to text with people has become a nuisance, as has my inability to do god damned two factor authentication, and so I had been thinking of getting myself a cheap pay as you go phone for those particular applications.
But now I don’t have to! Joe has solved that problem for me and I am tickled pink.
I am going to set some ground rules for myself, though, because I do not want to end up a sleep deprived zombie like I was back when I had a tablet.
So I am not going to put any games on this cell unless I am literally about to end up in the hospital or otherwise be in a situation where I will need to entertain myself for a long time while being nowhere near my computer.
Second, this thing does NOT come to bed with me. Ever. I will use it sitting here at my computer or not at all. That’s where I will keep the charger too.
Because even without games, the temptation to veg out on the cell instead of sleeping will be too great if it’s close at hand and I need real sleep, god damn it.
Bed will remain for reading, sleeping, and playing my synth.
I know that these rules will not be easy for me to stick to but I am determined to protect my precious four hours of solid sleep a night so I will see it through.
Of this, I swear.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.