If I’d really wanted to, I probably could have come up with another rant.
And don’t get me wrong. I’m very glad that some people found my ranting amusing and/or informative and/or illuminating.
But I don’t want to be “that angry guy” who builds his persona around ranting. That’s way too restrictive. And proscriptive – what if I’m just not angry that day?
Nah, I will continue to have the one unifying thing about my content be me. You either like my stuff and my style and my wit and my personality and so on or you don’t.
I do this to express myself. That is the primary mission of both the blog and the videos. I am a high strung creative type who needs to express his inner energies in order to be anywhere in the same neighborhood as sanity.
Who knows, maybe one day I will discover the perfect way to express all of my copious creative juices in one glorious endeavor and actually be able to have some time of actual lucid mental health at the end of the day,
Oh right, the video. Here it is.
I kinda had that back when I was doing my Million Word Challenge and was writing around 1,667 words a day,
There were days in there where I would go do stuff with Le Gang after a day of writing and be a way more relaxed and groovy version of myself.
More or less the version of me I have always wanted to be. Relaxed, confident, positive, expansive, witty, all very very Sagittarius.
But all very groovy and harmonious like a Taurus like me desires.
What can I say, I am a complicated dude with a lot of elements in his chart which quite frankly do not fit together at all.
Back to the vid. It took a major act of will to resist the urge to put the lyrics on screen in that vid like I usually do.
But that’s one hell of a lot of work and by the time I had the MP3 of the song done it was already 3:15 pm so I decided I would resist the urge this once and just put it out there with the vinyl loop as a background and see how that worked out.
Well I still have the urge to put the damned lyrics on the screen. And relatedly, I have the urge to tell myself that if I want to do a song I need to do it before it becomes time to make the video of the day.
That probably won’t happen. I am too much of a slave to routine right now to subtract from my oh so precious gaming time in order to do something creative spontaneously.
Even though somes I get really bored in the morning and don’t feel like playing a video game, I want to do something more.
One day, that irrepressible energy will break through and force me to do more with my life because the alternative will be to go completely insane.
Until then I will trudge along like usual, I guess.
That same old death march to the grave, no detours, no side trips, no looking at the scenery too much, just moving forever inwards until one day time and obesity fbnally catch up with me and I just plain drop dead.
That would be nice. Skip the whole slowly dying while fulla of tubes eking out my last in total terror and misery thing.
Just, “Well, I guess that’s all for this life. I’ll never talk to you nice people again. Bye!”
And then I just keel over and fall apart.
More after the break.
Such wanton profligacy!
I ordered in tonight. And I am probably going to do it again on Saturday night.
Truly, I am a dissolute spendthrift with nary a thought for all that is good and decent!
Seriously, though, I had to crunch the numbers today to figure this out and even with my crunchiest numbers it’s gonna be close.
Basically, to stay within my means, both meals must be less than $25.
Tonight’s Donair Dude repast was $24.47.
Not bad considering that I got a veggie samosa for an appetizer and a massive order of fries smothered in lamb donair meat and sauce for my main.
I could have gotten a donair wrap instead, or poutine for a few bucks more, but this is what I was in the mood for.
Fries, donair sauce, and MEAT.
I like having the occasional especially carnivorous meal. Not only does it let me assure myself that I am, indeed, getting enough vitamin B12, but there is a certain atavistic satisfaction to having a belly full of meat.
Perhaps some hidden evolutionary lever is telling me I’m a good hunter.
Today’s been good. I am more or less back to my baseline of misery. My nose is still running but that’s a seasonal allergies thing.
But otherwise, I feel fine. Even better since Julian noticed that the thermostat in my room was set to “medium”.
No wonder it felt like it was super hot out when it was only 25 degrees! D’oh.
Oh well, I am not a sensible person and so while maybe I “should” have thought of that when it seemed weirdly hot in my room, I didn’t, and odds are I wouldn’t.
At least not for a while. It might take a long time for it to occur to me.
I just have to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that I am, in fact, a genius, and we genii often have trouble with the here and now realities of life.
For the millionth time : I need an assistant. Someone to cope with things for me so all I have to do is make good art and they take care of the rest.
I guess that’s what all us dreamers want, whatever our speciality. Someone to watch over us as we live in the space between our ears.
Maybe some day I will have that. When I can pay for it.
Till then I will muddle through like always.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.