I am just going to be winging it in terms of content today (unlike my usual finely crafted and micrometer machined prose) and more of less making things up as I go.
Like the word “fandangle”. I just made it up. The title “the usual fandangle” popped into my mind, and I went with it because it sounded right. I have just decided that “fandangle” means a complicated and seemingly chaotic mess that is actually the result of a very high and subtle level of order.
See? Being a writer is fun. I just made up a word. Coining a neologism is just that easy. Sure, odds are nobody will ever use it. In fact, odds are, I won’t even use it again.
But it’s still a word, as real and legitimate as any others.
Lo, I am the Master of Words!
Are you surprised? Well then, look at this :
Sure it's a dumb pun, But you laughed anyway, didn't you?
You just emitted three thousand moles of that element!
Writing is not only fun, it can teach you new, exciting, and completely bogus things!
I am not ashamed to say that when I first saw the above image, I laughed out loud in amusement and delight. In retrospect, it seems like an obvious joke, but it still fancies my tickle. What can I say, I have a lifelong susceptability to puns, and it not something I expect to, or desire to, overcome any time soon. It brings such joy.
While we are doing images, here is one to melt the heart (and possibly the mind) of all us cat lovers. Imagine if one of your kitties did this :
Pls miss, I can haz pets nao?
I only found that image early today, and already I have seen it pop up in two other places. In the world of the Internet, where cute cat pictures rule with an iron paw, this one is a clear winner. That has to the most adorably polite cat ever. I mean really, who could resist petting a cat who asked so very nicely? Nobody with a heart, that’s who.
Then again, I can’t resist petting kitties anyhow. I do not get these people who think cats are aloof and are not affectionate. Those people must have all the wrong vibes or something, because all the cats I have known are super affectionate. They get so happy to see you they rub up against objects around them and start trying to arch up into your hand before your hand is even there yet. They purr and lean up against your hand and sometimes even fall over in their enthusiasm to show their affection for you.
And how can you not love that? Cats are just plain awesome.
Next up, we have a young lady with a tattoo you might find hard to believe :
What the hell is a regert?
Assuming that was supposed to read “no regrets”, I am thinking she has at least one.
Something along the lines of “I regret going to an illiterate tattoo artist” or possibly “I regret not spell checking my sketch before handing it to the guy”, or maybe even that old classic, “I regret drinking that entire pitcher of strawberry margaritas and thus rendering everything else I did that evening a warm blur punctuated by penises”.
You have to admit, penises make for pretty good punctuation. I know I do a hard stop when I see one.
What else have I got lying around to share with you people… oh, I already posted this one to my Twitter, but I think I will share it here too.
Warning, this is explicitly about pooping, although no poop is actually shown.
And when you are done, don't forget to wash your brain! Click to enlarge.
As disgusting a metaphor as it is, I think it is fundamentally true. Meditation, or psychotherapy for that matter, is basically a process of elimination. You gather together the waste products of the mind, all the archaic emotions, unfinished thoughts, suppressed impulses, and other mental detritus, and then flush them out of the mind so that they are no longer draining your energies just to hold them back, or worse, having them come out at a time and in a manner not of your choosing.
Basically, thinking you can go forever without dealing with your suppressed emotions is like thinking you can go your entire life without going to the bathroom, and usually with the same result.
Sooner or later, it all comes out.
Finally, a subject that is literally near and dear to half of humanity’s hearts : boobs!
I find it hilarious, but completely unsurprising, that someone went to the trouble of creating such a video. The Internet creates its own inevitabilities, due to the One Nerd Effect.
Now I am a fag, and boobs do not mean a thing to me sexually, although I think they look very nice, and I sure do appreciate their baby nourishing function. But they are not erotic to me, so I feel I can be very object in my assessment.
And to my mind, it is clear as a bell that the PS3 titties are far more realistic than the 360 ones. The PS3 boobs look pretty realistic. Clearly, someone understands how a boob is put together. The 360 ones, on the other hand, are sadly of the “beachballs and rubber bands” school of boob physics.
Tits are not spheres, people. Sure, there is the central mass, but it is held in by skin and muscle, not elastics and double sided tape.
Well, that’s all for today. Oh, one last note : the entry I wrote on Saturday will be up shortly, I am just having unexpected and tiresome technical issues getting it off the laptop and onto this computer so I can post it.
Why is nothing ever easy?
I trip the light fandangle.
I liked “The Element of Surprise,” and I don’t normally like puns. But this one was very clever.
My favourite part of that clip is when the cat paws her arm. It reminds me of when my first two cats would try to wake me up, or get food from me while I was eating.
You’ve met Nero, and he’s not super-affectionate. If you approach him at the right time, such as when he’s on his perch, or my parents’ bed, or I’ve captured him and put him on my bed with my bedroom door closed, he’ll react positively to being petted. He’ll launch his head into your hand and even snag your hand with his claws and pull it back if you stop petting him too soon.
But he also runs away from people, and never trusts anyone he doesn’t know. And it can’t be vibes, because he’s as afraid of you and other cat people as he is of anyone else. The only person he actively pursues is my mom.
The next time you feel a bad emotion—anger, depression, despair—look it right in the eye and say, “Someday you’ll be poo!”
I wonder if Poo Guy loves that instructor. “Finally! Somebody gets it!”
Adding more realistic sagging and bouncing to the boobs just draws attention to the fact that this would be impractical for battle. Really, they should wear sports bras, or some sort of Valkyrie breastplate, to keep those things from slapping all over the places and hurting.
I remember reading an article in Xtra West that began with the statement, “Fags love my boobs.” The author went on to say that her gay male friends, while not aroused by her boobs, kept wanting to play with them. They were just fun aesthetically.
I have a theory that some things are easy, but we don’t value them as much. We hate ourselves, so we assume that anything good we can do that’s easy must be worthless.
Hmm, true, Nero is not super affectionate. But he does express his affection… it’s not like he has never purred for you or anything. He’s just very skittish.
>The next time you feel a bad emotion—anger, depression, despair—look it >right in the eye and say, “Someday you’ll be poo!”
Am I supposed to hear that in my head in the voice of Chris from Family Guy? Because I totally did. 😛
And yeah, big boingy boobs are not battle boobs. It would be almost as bad as having huge swinging balls if you’re a dude.
>I have a theory that some things are easy, but we don’t value them as >much. We hate ourselves, so we assume that anything good we can do >that’s easy must be worthless.
I totally agree. It’s a very dark angle on the labour theory of value. Whatever we find easy to do must be no big deal, and if all we can do are things which are no big deal, we must be worthless, right?
Yes, it definitely works as Chris Griffin. But then you have to write in all caps. “SOMEDAY YOU’LL BE POO!!!”
“For battle boobs, come to me!”–a tranny Klingon (or “Tringon”)
Holy crap, would a Tringon have to be one tough mother(fucker).
Then again, their genders do not seem to be as socially differentiated as ours, so maybe it would not be THAT big a deal.
Still, I would not want to see what happens when a straight male Klingon encounters the “shower surprise” situation.
Presumably gay male Klingons are like leathermen.