Virtual yard sale

I should probably be talking about therapy, or my life, or whatever, but then again, I also have fun stuff from the browser to share, so what the heck, I will do both.

Right about now, I feel like this cat :

Grumpy Kitty shows off his ET impression

Because, as you probably can guess, I am not feeling that great because of bad sleep. I am wondering if I need to just plain avoid afternoon naps. Those seem to be the ones that really brutalize me. I don’t know if it is a circadian rhythm thing, or it is because that is when it is hottest out, or what, but those sleeps are the worst in terms of how I will feel waking up.

I wonder if some party music would help.

Well if it's going to be THAT kind of party...

Hmmm. Or maybe not.

Bravo to the person who was willing to be seen in public with that CD. Even if it was just to snap a picture of it in the music store with your cell phone. If they actually bought it and brought it home, bravo sir. I cannot imagine the kind of looks you get from the dude at the counter with the piercing and the Hipster glasses when you have to get that particular items rung up.

“Um, it’s for a friend. Well, not a close friend, an acquaintance. Someone I know from work. But not very well. I think he’s Jewish. I mean, we all are. We are, in fact, Rabbis who run a deli and do some accounting on the side. In Israel. In town for a… look, just ring it up, OK?”

It is really wearing me down that it seems like I am destined to spend at least some of the time feeling like this every single day. In the beginning, it was easy to pat myself on the back for keeping the proper philosophical “hey, shit happens, the sun can’t shine every day” attitude. But when that rain just keeps falling and falling and falling, you lose your chipper attitude and just want it to STOP.

I feel like I have not gotten any decent sleep in at least a week. It is always the brutally intense stuff, or nothing. Plus my nose is running all the time, leading to clogging, leading to filled sinuses, leading to sinus headaches, and that is no fun at all.

So that explains why I am failing to be entirely upbeat.

Oh well, at least it is only part of the day. All this morning I felt quite hale and hearty. Maybe I am just sleeping like normal people, the ones who need a cup or two of coffee to get started in the morning and who always wake up feeling like crap. I don’t know. I can’t tell.

If that is true, then my sympathies, coffee people. I had no idea how bad you had it. Most of my life, I have been a slow but happy riser. I did not exactly bounce out of bed smiling, ready to take on the day and meet it with a big happy grin, but I never woke up grumpy.

But lately, waking up with a headache and dehydration and disorientation and a runny nose and so forth and so on, the only reason I am not grumpy is that I am alone, and grumpiness requires a target.

Maybe I should talk to my imaginary friends.

Pumba, not in front of the kids!

Wow, I knew there was a reason I loved that movie so much. Well, honestly, there are tons of reasons. But it’s nice to have still one more.

After all, Simba not only turns out well, he becomes King of the Lions, and roars on Pride Rock, and everything. All after being raised in part by a same sex couple.

At least, I always assumed they were one. They do seem awfully close and it is not like they have other members of their species to turn to when the nights are lonely and cold.

Of course, the fact that one of them is voiced by Nathan Lane probably does not hurt either.

Then again, maybe I am just not approaching life the right way.

On the road of life, I am totally that guy

Or worse, I am the one driving perpendicular to the traffic, always changing lanes and risking T-bone accidents and mayhem, just because I want to know what is on the side of the road more than I want to get where everyone else is going.

And the commuter can be pretty pissed off at you for messing with the flow of traffic.

Oh, fun site to share with you, a bit of current events satire done well : God Hates Shrimp.

And he does, you know. As the site show, the Bible quite explicitly says that you are not to eat any kind of shellfish, for it is unclean to you. Therefore, anyone who eats shrimp, clams, oysters, lobsters, or any other sea creature that has no fins is a filthy degenerate sinner.

Of course, it also condemns pork. Both of these admonitions have nothing to do with holiness and everything to do with keeping your followers alive and healthy. Both shellfish and pork can kill you dead if not cooked and cleaned properly, and in the days before refrigeration, it was probably best to just stay away from such hazardous cuisine entirely.

In the modern world, these admonitions make absolutely no sense. Pork and shellfish are perfectly safe to eat as long as you cook them well and, in the case of shellfish, know which months are safe for their harvesting. And no raw clams! They are not an aphrodisiac and you are playing Russian Roulette, but with a far slower and more painful and humiliating death.

And on that happy note, we end today’s blogging. If these shadows have offended, fuck you.

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