OK, I swear to Dog, I am not gonna talk about sleep tonight. Anything but that.

I got a TON of science stuff for tomorrow, but that’s for tomorrow, so… hmmm. Must try to remember what I talked about before I talked about my sleep all the damned time.

Hmmm. Nothing coming to me. This might take a while.

Well, in the meantime, look at this cosplay.

Big Brother and Little Sister, from Bioshock

I am truly impressed at this cosplay job. I never got that far into Bioshock, but I recognize two of its most iconic and haunting creations, and I have to say that these cosplayers look exactly like the game, inasmuch as that is possible in the real world.

Being the worrywart that I am, I do wonder what the little girl is thinking. She is surely too young to understand the game and its deep anti-Objectivist message. Presumably, she would find the game far too scary and so she is going along with this purely to make whoever is in the Big Brother outfit (Daddy? Mommy? Weird Uncle?) happy.

And I am sure this will not end up costing her years of therapy when she finally gets curious when she is older and plays the game and finds out what she was a part of for an afternoon.

Sorta makes me want to play the game again, and see if I can make it further. Mainly it was technical issues that bogged me down before. If I got it again, I would get it for a console, and a legit copy, so that if I have problems I can bitch at somebody.

So where was I? Oh yeah, talking about things that are not my sleep pattern. Well, I has a short conversation with my friend, ex-roomie, and expectant father Ryan Hawe tonight. Turns out, medical imagining on their bundle of joy has been done, and the preliminary result is : it’s a girl!

Technically, the world will not know for sure until birth, but the 3D imaging (even babies are in 3D) today is very good, way better than those old blurry ultrasounds that could be a baby or could be a pointillist Rorschach test, so in all likelihood, it’s pink cigar time.

And so, congratulations, Ryan and Jenn! It’s a girl! Put away the concrete spray-wash furniture and floor drains, and break out the Kleenex and the sensation of not knowing what the hell is wrong now.

So that is one thing completely unrelated to sleep. Watch this while I think of another.

Oh, and fair warning, it is a cautionary PSA, and hence, scary as hell. We are talking nightmare fuel here, people. So buckle down, and view this PSA from Finland.

Amazing, isn’t it? It really gets the point across. It reminds me of another PSA from this side of the Atlantic in which little kids dressed as adults relate their parents’ hilarious stories of drunken excess. The tagline for that one was something like “If it doesn’t sound good to you, coming from them… how do you think it sounds to them, coming from you? ”

(I would love to link said PSA now, but I lack the search engine kung fu to find it with my fragmentary memory of it. Anyone else want to give it a shot?)

But obviously, the Finnish people wanted to hit a little harder. I think the piece is brilliant, although we would probably consider it too harsh over here. But from what I have heard, alcoholism is a really big problem in hard-drinking Finland, so for there, it is probably entirely justified. Something has to get through to people, and sometimes you have to really hit people hard just to get their attention.

And I remember just how scary drunk adults seemed when I was a kid. And that was just drunken strangers. I never saw my parents drunk and I cannot imagine how nightmarishly frightening that would be. Drunk people are erratic and impulsive and in a sense, temporarily insane. That is very frightening to a child, because every child knows in their heart that they are at the mercy of the adults around them, and so the idea of an out of control adult behaving in a weird and scary way is very disturbing to them.

So for crying out loud, folks, do not get drunk around your kids. If you do, give serious thought to the fact that you might have a drinking problem.

Because clearly, you are out of control.

Then again, maybe you just need a drink before bed into order to get to sleep. And speaking of sleep, let me tell you about my…. no, dammit! I said I wasn’t going to do it, and I won’t!

Quick, talk about something else. Oh hey,what about this brilliant move by the people at Capri Sun?

Here’s the scenario : a Redskins football player named Niles Paul loves him some Capri Sun, but complains that his teammates keep swiping his when he was not looking.

So what does Capri Sun do? Not only do they send him a case of Capri Sun sans straws and thus make pilferage futile (no straw, no way to drink from their little plastic pouches), but they send him a silver plated straw in a padded case so that he can still access his beverage of choice.

Absolute genius PR. Myself, I like Capri Sun more than I like their prime competitor, Sunny D, but that is not saying much, because I am a total juice purist. If there is anything besides fruit juice in it, I do not want it, and I was like that way before diabetes forced my hand.

And I resent these things that pretend to be fruit juice, but are basically Tang with a little orange juice added (I am looking at you, Sunny D!).

How dare you trick people into thinking you are healthy? Pigs.

Still, I applaud Capri Sun’s brilliant PR move.

And I would go on, but I guess I am out of juice for now.

Come back tomorrow, for SCIENCE!