Contradiction in terms, right? Maybe not.

I recently came across this article about the rise of atheist churches, and it really got me thinking.

First, full disclosure time, I am secretly a hyper-intelligent octopus. (Well, no, but could you imagine?)

The disclosure is that I have had the idea of nontheistic churches for quite a long time. It just grew naturally out of my curiosity about just what a church is, what people do there, and what exactly it is they are getting out of it.

Because you see, as many of you already know, I am a complete outsider when it comes to religion. I was raised without it, and have never had a religion in my life. One might call me a natural atheist, although I prefer the term nontheist as it is less confrontational and carries less baggage.

So when I first read the article, my feelings were mixed.

Most of me was happy that people were doing what I felt needed to be done in order to truly begin the process of overcoming religion. Namely, offering an alternative, something that fulfills all the functions of a religion without demanding faith in a bunch of fairy tales and an angry yet benevolent sky monarch.

But a little part of me was disappointed. Another of my brilliant ideas being executed by someone else! I swear, I was totally going to do that…. some day. Eventually. Maybe. At the very least, I was going to write about it and hope someone else picked up the slack!

OK, confessional closed, on to the subject at hand.

A lot of people are going to ask “Without God, what is the point of a church?” In fact, some people have such a negative association with the word “church” that they will reject the notion of a nontheistic church out of hand.

And that is, of course, their right. Much cruelty and madness has be foisted upon innocent children in the name of religion, and those scars run deep.

But my contention is that what people get out of going to church every holy day has very little to do with religion and a great deal more to do with community, and that, in fact, religion has hijacked community and claimed its positive effects as its own.

That warm feeling you get from singing psalms and doing rituals together? That’s God, and we own Him, so you had better do what we say or we will cut you off.

Oh, and we will also be the social hub of your community, so that all the good feelings you get from other social activities like picnics and meetings will also bear our seal. The happiness you get from spending an afternoon in the company of your little community? That’s God, and we own Him.

Troubled? Why, just come to one of our representatives and talk it out. That good feeling you get from someone listening to your troubles and offering kindly advice? That’s God. And we own Him.

But it isn’t God at all, it’s just the human need for community and empathy. You could remove the Bible, God, and all the rest from the weekly service and it would be just as effective at making people happy without asking them to break their brains and obey.

So I am glad that people are out there doing this. Their efforts are small now, but I feel that this movement or something quite like it is the wave of the future and that the churches of the new millennium will be born from such simple roots.

Right now, traditional religion is largely the domain of the old. Obviously, this cannot continue, and their children and their children’s children will have to find or create something new.

They will also have to go get the baby we all have thrown out with the bathwater when we threw away the good parts of religion along with all the badness.

One point of contention : I would not define my new church as atheist or agnostic. That is not inclusive enough. You want people to come there and feel safe, accepted, unjudged. I would simple make it so that God is not included in the church but those who believe in God are not excluded from the religion.

That way, you can accept people who have a lot of doubts about their religion and their relationship with God, but who are nowhere near ready to just chuck the whole thing yet.

And maybe through your nontheistic church, they will someday find the courage to make that final break with their faith. And maybe not. You might, in fact, help them find their way back to God. So be it.

But people are desperate for solace, and you do not create solace for them by putting up walls. You do it by letting people in, and giving a place to call home.

So why call it a church at all? Why not call it a social club, or a fellowship, or a regular meeting of the Grumpy God Hater’s Society?

Because only by calling it a church can we emphasize that church and religion are not the same thing, and make sure that we are replicating everything that a church gives people without the necessity of enforcing obedience through some silly old book written by cranky patriarchs.

There are functions that a social club simply cannot replicate. I want people to have a church to go to, I just want to to be a church that does not ask for faith or in any way put itself in opposition to reason, science, and humanitarianism.

So bring on the soup kitchens, the group singing of songs, talks about shared values, counseling services, and all the rest. People need all of these.

And if we can do this, we can truly pry the fingers of religion off the throats (and minds) of the people and replace it with something safer, saner, and better suited to the realities of the world.

Only with nontheistic churches can we create a post-religious world.

I, for one, am eager to start that process ASAP.