It begins again….

Good golly but I have had a rough fucking evening.

Oh, don’t worry, it’s not the kind of rough evening that involves the cops, en ambulance, and the hospital. Just a lot of wear and tear on this ol’ nerves of mine.

See, I spent the evening trying to get my webcam working, or rather, trying to get it working with any of the damned software I have.

Why is nothing ever simple or easy? Why is it that the simplest things always end up turning into one of these long nighmarish slogs through complication after complication until by the time you actually get the thing done, you almost don’t even care any more and it’s only been sheer bloodyminded determination that got you this far?

Why don’t things ever just fucking work?

But enough ranting. My original plan, before endless technical snafus robbed me not only of my momentum but my sense of humour, was to share a view videos with you tonight, ending with a little something from me via my (fucking) webcam.

Maybe it was a bad idea to buy some no-name Chinese webcam on eBay, But it was only $5.30! And the shipping was free!

Anyhoo, on with the video cavalcade.

First off, a Scottish (parody) ad for Apple, iPhone, and Siri.

Warning, this is loaded with highly ornate and well formed Scottish swearing.

Now that’s funny. And not just “ha ha, everything is funny in a Scottish accent, fuck you Mike Myers” kind of way. Genuinely funny.

It makes fun of the Scottish accent as well as the Scottish temperament (the Scots are not a calm people) as well as the limits of technology and the perils of idiomatic language.

And speaking of idiomatic language, I found this clip informative as well as amusing. I finally know what the hell a Jammy Dodger is (it’s just a jam sandwich… how dull!) and what the heck what I always hear as “chip buddy” (a sandwich with nothing but butter and French Fries inside… that’s not just dull, it’s disgusting as well. Throw an onion in there at least!)

But then again, I am far more French than I am Scottish, so perhaps that’s my blood showing.

I mean, those people eat haggis for crying out loud. And deep-friend Mars bars. Their entire cuisine is made of salt and cholesterol. Add in the fiery Scottish temperament, and it’s like the whole country is a machine to produce heart attacks.

No wonder so many amazing doctors come from Scotland. They have to be good to deal with the inevitable effects of what they call “cuisine”.

And I might be wrong, but is our fowl-mouthed Scrooge McDuck sounding fellow wearing a “dog collar”? Because if so, I assume that means he’s a vicar and that just makes the whole thing that much funnier.

A video like that makes me grateful that I am a relatively relaxed sort of fellow.

Type-A people might get more done in a day, but… at what cost?

Staying in the UK but going back a long long time, we have this amazing testament to the art of video restoration in the service of posterity.

That… is honest to goodness Edwardian London, England (and some bits of Cork, Ireland) from the year 1900. That there is the closest to time travel any of us are likely to get.

And everything is so different, and yet…. not, at the same time. We can certainly recognize the throngs of people going about their busy urban lives, the vehicles carrying goods and people to and fro, and the bustle of daily commerce.

But what strikes me about it is how calm everyone is about having horses go by within inches of them. Of course, for them, that’s the most normal thing in the universe.

But being a city boy of the modern era, I can’t help but think that if I really was there, I would be going “Holy crap, horses!” every ten seconds or so.

Another thing that it hard to keep in mind is that these people are not in costume. This is not a “period piece”, this is the actual period. For them, the clothes they are wearing are just as casual and normal as the clothes I wear every day are to me.

But the worst thing would be the smell. It must be catastrophically horrible. Despite my urban proclivities, I am pretty sure that were I forced to live in that era, I would flee the urban centers like my tail was on fire and go someplace nice and fresh like a tiny Swiss village up a mountain or something.

Finally, the little thing from me I will share with you.

Yup, you heard me right. In addition to my usual blogging duties, I will also be making at least sixty seconds of brand new video content every single day for the next sixty days.

I cannot guarantee that this will never interfere with the blogging, however. It is entirely possible that I will get so wrapped up in “vlogging” (what a horrible word) that I use up all my energy and thus have nothing left for the production of text.

But I will do my utmost to avoid it. After all, I spend hours every day playing video games. Surely I can shave another hour or two off my precious video game time to make something that actually adds value to the world for a change.

So while it took a mighty struggle to get everything working, hopefully it will just keep working now, and I will be able to throw together some bit of video silliness every day.

Who knows, maybe this will actually make me more productive. It does feel good to get back into video editing again. I am quite rusty, but all the machinery is still there. Video editing is a very interesting art. I look forward to messing around with it again.

Anyhow, until tomorrow, that’s all from me. See you at the Sixty Sixty!

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