I’m getting tired of coming up with names for these things.
Can you tell?
Links, mine at end, yadda yadda.
First up, two videos about the same subject that dropped into my browser completely separate from one another.
There’s this clever little skit :
(warning : EXTREMELY NSFW dialogue!!! Earphones, people!)
Very nice, did not see that punchline coming at all. It’s so rare to see a skit that relies so much on structure these days. Most people are not up to writing and producing that kind of thing. It takes a lot more skill and control than just getting together with your friends and doing goofy shit.
Even decent skitcom tends to hedge its bets with gags before the punchline of the skit… and all too often, after the punchline too. How sad.
But these people laid down a well-timed, well-planned, well-executed skit that is not funny until the end, but builds brilliantly to its, shall we say, climax.
And I love some of the little details. Putting a book on the beach guy’s crotch was genius, makes it seem way pornier without actually showing anything.
And speaking of Beach Guy, it was also brilliant to include that guy’s parents. Friends might approve. Even lovers or significant others might understand, in time.
But you know damned well that your dear sainted parents never figured on you becoming a porn star.
Thank goodness it’s HBO!
Sadly, though, the world of explicit sex on HBO is apparently not nearly as wonderful as it sounds, at least according to these ladies.
Seriously, HBO? No dongs? All that crazy assed sex I have heard about in Game of Thrones, and nobody has seen the actual peen? You are blocking the cock? You think it’s cleaner without the wiener?
You guys just lost major cool points with me.
Look, I am not looking for porn. There’s plenty of porn on the Internet, if you hadn’t heard. You name it, it’s out there. Anything you can imagine and a lot of things you’d rather not.
I just want there to be places to go that are free of the public neurosis of erotophobia and can therefore let their writers run free and tell whatever sort of story they want.
And I thought that was you, HBO. But now I hear that you share the public’s fear of what half the population of the world had between their legs?
And make no mistake about it, to the censors and the squeamish people they protect, the penis is the filthiest, more horrible thing in the world. And do you know why?
Because this is still a male-dominated society and for completely fucked inside out homophobic reasons, every straight man has to evince massive disgust for all penises that are not their own in order to prove they aren’t gay. Because doing the exact opposite of what a gay guy would do has to be super-not-gay, right?
Don’t give in to this madness, HBO. Let the dongs fly. If that makes legions of straight male nerds squirm in their seat and make puking sounds, so be it.
It just means they are in need of desensitization.
Next vidya is of Costa Rica, also know as Liberal Paradise, and their ultra-genius solution to the problem of having too many stray dogs in the pound.
And when I say genius, I mean it. A simple and low-cost exercise in rebranding, and suddenly every mutt in the world is actually its own exclusive microbreed.
They took a very negative word that lumped together all dogs which do not happen to be racially pure[arf] (as though that’s a good thing) and turned it instead into a mark of exclusivity and uniqueness which raises the value of the animal from “trash” to “treasure” in people’s eyes.
And the dogs don’t care. They just want homes!
And I sincerely hope that all those people breeding hopelessly inbred and diseased “purebred” animals that will lead lives of pain and disability just to satisfy someone’s fetish for genetic purity see this video, see that these people are attacking the very concept of a purebred dog, and get really good and mad about it.
Oh sure, you can have your purebred Cavalier King Charles Spaniel…. if you want to have the same dog as dozens if not hundreds of other people.
My dog, on the other hand, is a one-off original and truly expresses my vastly superior wealth and status.
Take that, you goddamn dog Nazis!
Oh god… it just occurred to me. This can only lead to one place : Designer dogs.
Oh well, enjoy it while it lasts, doggies.
And lastly, of course, my little ol vidya of the day.
It’s another piece of music, but I did what I could to spice up the visuals this time.
See? You can either just listen to the music, and not miss anything of substance, or watch the video, and get some colorful (and how) visuals to tickle your eyeballs.
I am fairly happy with how the piece turned out. It’s really two songs with a bridge between them, but I am happy with both of them and glad I am progressive as a composer.
The second part, the Grind movement, took the longest to compose because I just could not seem to find the right instrument to use for the melody.
I only solved that problem by writing the melody with a simple synth sound first, and only then going to find the right instrument for it.
Same with the Pluck Movement too, sorta. You should have heard my first version of that, it was ghastly. Sounded like something a ghost bartender would play in a saloon in Hell.
But it got the melody down, and when I came back to it later, I was able to find a much nicer sounding instrument. Add a little echo, and voila.
This music stuff is fun!
- Yes. You heard it here first. I think the American Kennel Club are a bunch of dog racists.↵