Time to catch you all up on what is happening Chez Moi.

Yesterday, I went to therapy, disability form in hand, and me and my therapist made a very good start on completing the darn thing.

Which reminds me, I haven’t done my section yet. Need to do that before Wednesday, when I will be going back to see him again to hopefully finish the goddamned thing.

It’s 28 pages long, so… it ain’t easy.

I have been foot-dragging on doing my part because I don’t like filling out forms, and that goes triple for scary-long and complicated government forms. If it’s just a matter of checking off boxes and filling in my vital statistics, that’s one thing.

But this has long sections where I am asked to describe this or justify that, and this is going to determine whether or not I get a major lifestyle upgrade, so there’s kind of a lot of pressure.

Plus, my therapist advised me not to come across as too smart to need help. I am to keep it simple or maybe even come across as a little stupid.

It seems unfair and inaccurate for the people who assess these things to associate a high level of intelligence with not needing any help, but whatever. I will try to keep it simple.

My brilliant plan is to do the whole thing in pencil, getting everything as humble and convincing as I can via the magic of the eraser, and then trace the final version over in pen.

That takes a lot of the pressure off, honestly. I don’t have to get everything perfect the first time.

I also went to see my GP yesterday, and he told my my sugars were bad (no duh there), but also that my hemoglobin count is abnormally and unhealthily low, and that combined with my complaints about sour stomach issues led him to think I may have an ulcer.

I am a little skeptical. If it’s an ulcer, it’s pretty mild. I have problems but not brutal fucking agony. Just a tendency to develop acid indigestion when I haven’t eaten in a while.

Still, it seems like my gut has been producing way too much acid for a long time and that definitely could cause an ulcer. And we have no other explanation for where that hemoglobin is going. I have not been bleeding anywhere that I know of. No nosebleeds, no cuts, nothing. So where is the blood loss happening?

He also mentioned anemia. I might be iron-deficient. That is distinctly possible… I don’t eat much meat except when I eat out, and I eat out only once a week these days.

And as far as I know, the only other sources of iron are a lot of nasty green leaf veggies that I am not keen to embrace. I was supposed to ask the pharmacists about iron supplements (which they keep behind the counter for some mysterious reason) but I forgot.

Speaking of the pharmacists, I will soon be taking Tectra, aka Pantoprazole (which sounds like a form of medieval Italian puppetry), which is an acid blocker like the Ranitidine I am already taking, but stronger.

Why is it stronger? because is belongs to a class of drugs with the most awesome name ever. Drugs like pantoprazole are know as proton pump inhibitors.

Is that not the most Star Trek thing you have heard today?

“Captain, I dinnae know how much longer I can keep this tub together. That last shot took out our primary proton pump inhibitor. Another one like that and we’re space dust. ”

“Five minutes, Scotty. I just need five more minutes. ”

“Aye… I’ll see what I can do. ”

Oh, and one last thing about my GP visit : I had to wait one and a half hours past the time of my appointment before I actually saw my GP. That’s bad.

But the good part is, I complained about it to him the moment I saw him, and that is quite positive for me because I usually have trouble expressing anger even in that mild a form and have even more trouble asserting myself on my own behalf.

He claimed not to know things were that bad, which is plausible. Doctors are often quite clueless about the non-medical aspects of their practice. That is understandable, after all, they are basically Talent and Talent has to focus on what it does and leave extraneous details to others.

He says he will look into it. I sure hope so. That shit is crazy-making. I ended up watching the tail end of some Breakfast TV type program, an entire episode of The Young And The Restless (it’s like two thirds nonwhites now, which is awesome), and some highly obnoxious Oprah-style female-oriented show with makeovers and recipes and stuff. God daytime television sucks.

I miss the days when I could watch game shows all morning and cartoons from noon to three!

And then more cartoons from four till six, then supper, then back for Wheel and Jeoprady at night. And when they are over, it’s prime time!

God I had a sad and lonely childhood.

Which is probably why I make videos like this.

It is more or less a short theater-style monologue, the sort of thing one might do if one was asked to bring something short for an audition.

Watching it now, it feels…. incomplete. The ending is too abrupt. It needed to be developed more somehow. I was trying to keep things lean and efficient, and so when it seemed like it was done, I resisted my usual tendency to want to cram things full of elaboration and just say “OK, then… it’s done.”

But I think I went too far. I should have at least said, right before the last line, “So… best country, best part of the country, best town, best job, best race, best religion, and best family!”

And only THEN say “How lucky can one guy get?”

Oh well, learn and move on!