Weird Al, in his role as hard-hitting journalist, tries to get the answer to one of the most vexing and perplexing questions in all of comedy straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

Sadly, the creature in question completely refuses to divulge his motives, and so the question will remain unanswered for now.

And Al pleads so pathetically and earnestly, how can that little prick resist? All it would take is a few words from that little cock’s beak and we would finally have an actual answer to the burning question of chick road crossing motivation.

But no. He says nothing…. NOTHING! It must be some kind of global chicken conspiracy to keep their true motivations for crossing roads a secret in order to use that diabolically clever asymmetry of information as a crucial “edge” to use when they finally unleash their mighty armies of giant mutant killer chickens to peck us all into oblivion under the blood soaked banner of a rooster known ominously as… The Colonel.

It’s the only logical explanation.