Tonight’s entry titles brought to you by Cat Stevens.

Yeah yeah, I know he’s Yosef Islam now. Well fuck that. He’s Cat Stevens to me.

Orders an extra large pizza from Fresh Slice tonight. Boy, they are not kidding when they say extra large, the thing is huuuuge. So big that two slices filled me up just fine. The box with the rest of it in it is currently taking up 80 percent of the bottom shelf of our fridge.

So I got like, three more meals of quality pizza to go. It’s great to be able to get the kind of high quality pizza that I knew and loved in Portland, Oregon. Sure, it’s a lot more expensive than Domino’s or Little Caesar’s, but it’s worth it.

And it’s not like, crazy expensive. It cost me 25 dollars (30 with tip) for the bigass pizza and some cinnamon strips. Divide that by four, and it’s $7.50 a meal. Not too bad. When I get Chinese food, I pay roughly the same amount for two meals’ worth of food. And I never feel ripped off there.

It’s good to indulge yourself now and then. We need joy and hope and pleasure in our lives.

And in my case, physical pleasure also helps ground me in reality and help me to cope with that feeling of detachment and unreality that plagues me and makes me feel existentially insecure.

One small disappointment : they have pesto, but they treat it as a topping instead of what it is supposed to be, an alternative to the usual tomato or white sauce. So I can’t get a pesto pizza like I got in Portland. There has to be another sauce, white or red, underneath.

I can see why they do that, because as I learned the hard way in Portland, when you use pesto (which is just olive oil and Italian spices) as your base sauce, the toppings tend to slide around and will slide right off the pizza unless your driver drives very very carefully.

But still. Wah.

Saw an amazingly forgettable movie called Outlander recently. No, not the TV series coming out this year about a 1945 war nurse who ends up in 1743. Nor is it the anime series with the hunky male bear-type alien. (That is seriously all I remember about seeing the first episode. I know there was some sort of space princess come to Earth to abuse some hapless Earth dude, but mostly, it’s Outlanders = Sexy Bearish Alien. )

No, this is a 2008 movie starring Jim “Jesus” Caviezel as a generic American action hero type, in this case a space marine who crashlands his space ship in 907 AD (??) in Norway, accidentally bringing a monster called a Moorwen with him.

Note : He appears to be entirely human. Nothing alien about him. And yet, it’s 907 AD. So apparently, somewhere in space humans have interstellar travel while also being at a Viking tech level.

And yup, that makes absolutely no fucking sense. Goddamned time travel. The movie really should have called “Vikings Versus Aliens” because that is clearly what the elevator pitch was.

In fact, the movie telegraphed just how little it cared about being science fiction by having our space marine hero lose his cool space gun within minutes of crawling out of the crash, thus making sure there is absolutely no science fiction in the rest of the movie, give or take an admittedly well done CGI flashback sequence about how our hero’s people wiped out the Moorwen in order to steal their planet.

Science fictional content issues aside, the main overwhelming sin of the movie is its total lack of originality. Everything you see in it, you have seen in other movies. In fact, it reaches almost Avatar levels of derivitiveness.

The main character has practically no personality, either. Honestly, if it hadn’t been, in passing, a Viking period piece, I doubt it would have kept my attention long enough for me to finish it.

And speaking of things I don’t finish, let me tell you about A Fantastic Fear Of Everything.

Right off the bat, the movie disappointed me, because the description said it was about a man who, due to research into 19th century serial killers, has become completely paranoid and convinced that there are murderers and assassins lurking everywhere, just waiting for him to drop his guard so he can kill them.

Sounds interesting, right? Wrong. Because it turns out that the whole serial killer research is disposed of in the first ten minutes and the rest of the movie is just Simon Pegg being really scared in his brownstone and the “hilarious” hijinks that ensure from there.

That is literally it. The thing that made me give up on the movie entirely was the moment when he accidentally crazy-glues a butcher knife to his hand minutes before he has to go to a Very Important Meeting He Simply Cannot Miss.

At that point, I could see where the movie was going and I did not want to go there with it. It would just be more painful unfunny inane sitcom slapstick, and if I didn’t like it when Pegg was alone, I sure as hell wasn’t going to like it when it started involving other people.

Fuck THAT noise.

I should also add, though, in the interests of full disclosure, that my giving up on the damned thing half an hour in was also influenced by the fact that watching Simon Pegg being all crazy and freaked out all the time was triggering my own anxiety issues, and that is seriously the last fucking thing I need right now.

I have been in mental states similar to his character’s, although not quite as severe and without the murder based ideation, and I really don’t want to go there for an entirely worthless and unrewarding kind of comedy.

So two thumbs way down for me. Outlander sucked but at least it didn’t trigger my issues, except possibly my issues with unimaginative film scripts.

Well that’s what’s up with me today, folks.

How about you?

Talk to you tomorrow!