Had somewhat of a reality segment fault moment today, and it was so weird I just had to share it with you, my brilliant and attractive readers. (I see you out there! You look fantastic. )

Today started normal enough. I played a bunch of Okami for the Wii (while secretly pretend I am actually playing The Little Hobo Goes To Japan) and napped and futzed around on the computer. I have recently taken the plunge and signed up again for the world’s hippest and coolest personals site, http://www.okcupid.com, and spent a good deal of this morning answering a whole whack (82 or so, to be specific) of their many questions designed to get some idea of your personality. They are fun to answer (especially because you can skip the ones you don’t like) and I have to admit, answering questions about my opinions and reactions to various issues and situations scratches that constant need for attention I seem to have in an abstract but satisfying way. Someone cares enough about me to want to know what I think about things! Such validation! Sure, it’s a computer program, but I am truly and sincerely that pathetic, so it all works out.

And to my mild surprise, when I finished putting in the scads of info I wanted, it then produced a list of potential matches that actually included some fellas who sounded interesting to me! The last time I was on OKcupid, that was not really the case. I’m not sure if the men got better or I just got less depressive and therefore less likely to reject people out of hand, or both, or if aliens live in my eyebrows, but whatever. Point is, better results this time, and giving my incredibly negative experiences with personals sites up till this points (so many men who only want meaningless sex…. what’s a sensitive guy to do?), I am especially pleased that I found some interesting seeming fellows via OKcupid. Wow, there are guys out there with like, minds and personalities and such! So that’s where they have all been hiding. Jackpot!

I messaged three of them, and none of them have replied yet, but what the hell, fishing is waiting and keeping bait on the hook. Where there’s three, there’s more. I will land one dammit!

So anyhow, I spent a bunch of my morning dropping my hook into the local dating pool and seeing if I can get any bites, and a bunch of my afternoon playing Okami, and then when 6 PM comes around, I put some pasta in the microwave and cook it, because, it being Thursday, I have no plans for the evening and so I am left to my own devices re food in the evening.

(Yes, yes, I hear all your little ears perking up and see all the hands waving frantically up in the air so you can all tell me “But geez, Mister Bertrand, it’s FRIDAY not THURSDAY, Mister Bertrand, SIR!”. What an eager and well mannered bunch you are, and of course, you’re right. You are all very bright, and deserve pats on the head and marshmallow treats. But you’re getting ahead of the story. )

And so all was tranquil in my little world until I headed to my room with the intention of napping with intent and happened to casually remark to my roomie Joe that there was leftover pasta in the fridge if he wanted it, and he looked at me with gaping disbelief (I get that a lot… it’s a thing… ) and said “Um, we’re going to Denny’s soon? Because it’s FRIDAY?”

Instant reality bomb detonating in my skull! I think I actually fainted a tiny bit.

“It is?” I managed to croak while the universe wobbled around me. In the movie version there would be serious quivering reverse zoom and color separation effects going on, along with 70’s freakout synthy sound effects. “I have been thinking it was Thursday all day!”.

So just like that, I lost an entire day. For an hour after that at least, I was walking around in existential pain. “Ow, my reality!” I said many times. It really did hurt like a physical trauma. I can still feel it, honestly. I get the feeling it’s kind of like epistemological jet lag. I will not totally catch up for day, I would imagine.

I am not sure exactly what happened. But I know it happened between around noon Thursday and today, because I am pretty sure I knew it was Thursday then…. but somehow, my internal clock/calendar just never updated when another day came along. Bizarre.

Now I am no stranger to little…. um, reality issues. I’m not psychotic or anything (BUT I AM), but I am a total introverted intellectual and I am way more into my own internal universe than this “reality” shit people are so into today, and so I am not unfamiliar with the sensation of having to suddenly catch up with reality because I have wandered out of Plato’s Cave again and missed some important updates.

But even for me, this was big. I really hope it never happens again, because that hurt like a bitch and I already don’t trust reality enough, so the last thing I need is having it squeeze a whole day of the week past me when I wasn’t looking.

Meet me half way, reality. You start being more pleasant, and I promise to pay more attention to you.

Send money and men my way would be a good start. Hint hint.