The nice lady with the Chinese accent at Wing Kee said it will be about an hour before I get my food, so I figured I would use that time to blopg, and that way when the food arrives I can just settle down with my Chinese food and My Little Ponies and chill for the evening.

Before I ordered from Wing Kee, I decided to do a little research. See, their flyer says they offer free delivery within 5 km, and I have been getting dinged $5 for delivery whenever I order, so I decided to boot up Google Maps and find out just how far away Wing Kee is.

Turns out that, as the car drives, they are 5.4 km away. So they got me there. I am 400 meters away from free delivery, damn it! I tried to research another Chinese place closer to me, because frankly five bucks for delivery is outrageous, but hunger was making me impatient so I decided to just go with good ol Wing Kee.

However, when I am less hungry (and not on my tablet… slow freaking thing), I will look for a more reasonably priced alternative.

I decided I would treat myself tonight because I have been feeling somewhat depressed lately. Having my main PC die on me really threw me for a loop, and what with the ID business looming over my head, I have been feeling a little down.

It’s not helped by the fact that I have been undereating again. I have been skipping meals because I wasn’t hungry at the time and so I am rocking a near constant hypoglycemic state. Not smart!

It got so bad that this morning at around 6 am, I woke up with a full bladder, and while emptying it into the appropriate receptacle, got this intense head rush… that didn’t stop.

That is a very bad sensation. I was also trembling and my legs were wobbly and I felt cold in a very scary way.

So I marched my buttocks out to the kitchen and forced myself to eat. I probably should have eaten more, but the minute my blood sugar started climbing, the effects of my sleeping pills kicked back in with a vengeance, and so I pretty much had to go back to bed.

I really have to stop doing this to myself. I have let my eating discipline go slack and I can’t afford to do that. For me, it is potentially lethal for me to skip a meal. For a long time, I had a very good record when it came to eating when I am supposed to eat regardless of whether or not I felt hungry.

And I need to get back to that. When it is meal time, I will eat. I might only eat a piece of fruit and a PB&J, but I will eat.

I swear sometimes that self-discipline is (or tries to be, in a slacker like me) a zero sum game where if you become more disciplined in one area, you slack off in another area. That, plus the tendency to slack off in the summer anyhow, plus the new stressors in my life equals a higher potential for doing stupid things like skipping meals. So I had best be on my guard.

I am trying very hard to be the caring, engaged, lovingly disciplining parent that I never had to myself. It’s not easy to undo a lifetime of self-neglect and stop doing to myself what my parents did to me (namely ignore me) and so it will be no easy task to get myself ship-shape again.

But I feel that I am on the right path. Certainly, the fact that I will be going to school soon (fingers crossed) will do me a great deal of good by providing lots of structure and an environment in which my considerable creative assets can be both recognized and honed.

I think I will really bloom and shine at VFS. It is the perfect place for me to be, and I am proud of myself that I am finally reaching out to get what I want out of life instead of being trapped on the sidelines be my fears.

I wonder how old people will think I am at VFS. People are always surprised when they learn my true age online because I have a very youthful attitude and you don’t see a lot of people in their forties who are all perky and cuddly and whatnot.

Then again, I have a fursona online. That kind of makes a difference. Still, I bet the people at VFS who have NOT read my application will be surprised to find out that I am old enough to have seen Star Wars in the theater the first time around.

Turns out that living the cloistered life I have led has kept me well-preserved on a strictly psychological level, and I plan on using that to my advantage

(two hours later)

Chinese food arrived and was eaten. Ponies were watched. I am at the end of Season Two, and they are using the “suspicious of the loved one’s new mate” standard plotline. You know, where the main character meets the new mate and doesn’t like them, and accuses them of being awful, and everyone thinks they are just being jealous and possessive and paranoid, but it turns out they were right all along.

I’ve seen it a million times. But loving the Ponies is not about originality of plot. Plot originality is overrated.

Like a good sitcom, it’s all about the characters, the dialogue, and the laughs. The best shows are always the ones with the characters you love and want to spend time with. If you don’t have that, you have nothing.

Well that’s all from me tonight in this unusual blog entry. I don’t usually let anything interrupt me when I am blogging, but this time it was FOOD.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.