No, this isn’t a particularly self-destructive Facebook quiz, it is a blog entry about the various very stupid things I have done lately. I am writing this to deal with this issue a la confessionale, and not purely out of self-flagellation.

Though there’s probably some of that in there as well.

But mostly, it’s about getting things off my chest and bringing to anger and self-loathing to some kind of a head so I can lance that boil and move on.

And you all get to watch! Oh, you lucky people you.

I have three main stupids on my mind tonight :

1. The Wellbutrin Caper. Dateline : a week ago today. I was refilling my medicine box when I noticed I could not find the pill bottle containing my Wellbutrin. I looked and looked, but I just couldn’t find it. I was eager to get to blogging, so I told myself I would search more thoroughly later.

A lot of the most tragic tales of my life begin with me assuming I will remember to do something later. I’m not good at that.

So I promptly forgot all about finding the Wellbutrin, and went on with my life without it, because modern psychoactive drugs are exactly the sort of thing you can just drop whenever you feel like it and suffer no ill effects.

Well, except these.

My there’s a lot of them. Makes me feel like I got off rather easy for my five day Wellbutrin fast. Then again, I was sick with this damned chest cold for a lot of that time and that might have masked the Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms.

So yeah, due to my total inability to remember that I am terrible at remembering things (hmmmm….), I accidentally went off a powerful drug at the same time I would be battling a nasty infection

Because I am just so smart like that.

2. The Amazon Prime Maneuver. A while back, maybe a couple of months ago, I signed up for Amazon Prime because they were offering a free one month trial and I was about to order a bunch of stuff, so why not get it faster?

And as soon as I get my stuff, I will log on to Amazon and cancel Prime. Right? I will totally remember to do that! I am great at that kind of thing!

Needless to say, I did not. Hell, I don’t even remember which Amazon it was, Canadian or American. I have accounts on both!

And this was one of those negative option dealies where if you don’t cancel, they just go ahead and sign you up, charges included.

A perfect trap for absentminded ninnies like myself, non?

So now I got Prime. 88 bucks down the drain. I plan on looking up all the various benefits soon, as I understand a lot of them, but whatever they are, I got’m.

Of course, I didn’t know this had happened. I got to find out when I tried to get $ out of the ATM at Safeway. I told it to give me $60 and it said “insufficient funds”. Well I knew that had to be bullshit, because I knew there was at least $100 on the card. I had put it on there in anticipation of VFS related fees.

Then I go to take some money out to buy sundries at 7-11 after dinner at ABC on Friday night, and it won’t even give me $20. Insufficient funds. Sayswhatnow?

Humiliatingly, I then have to borrow $10 from Joe to buy the stuff I needed.

By now, I am beginning to seriously worry that I have been a victim of cybercrime. I mean, that’s the only possible explanation, right?

So I call the 1-800 number for the card and check my balance. OMG only 5 bucks!

Well, clearly the only way to catch this dastardly criminal was to check my recent transaction history. And that is when I heard it… Amazon Prime, $88.

It was a weirdly stern female voice too, which only added to the humiliation. Like a severe older woman who is only putting up with you at all because you are a friend of her daughter.

Oh well, like dear Felicity said, it’s not like the money just plain disappeared. I have Amazon Prime somewhere for a year. And the dastardly thing is, that makes me want to go order stuff from Amazon in order to justify buying Prime.

It’s downright diabolical. Jeff Bezos… you win.

3. The Saline Solution.This one isn’t quite as stupid as the others, but still. When I was sick last week, I started losing my appetite.

And speaking as someone who has struggled with the issues of how to eat when you really don’t wanna for almost 20 years, I can say for certain that it never gets any easier. The best you can do is treat food like medicine. Completely separate it from your normal conception of food, and just eat it like you;re taking a pill.

So part of my loss of appetite was that I stopped eating my nighty bag of popcorn. No big deal, until you realize that is my main source of salt.

And despite its vilification, salt is a nutrient and something you very much need. Add in that I was eating less of everything else, and you can see that I have been operating on a seriously salt deficient basis all week.

Luckily, my powers of scientific analysis worked this out, and thanks to a bowl of salty popcorn for supper, I feel more human now than I have all week.

I will do the popcorn thing again tonight at the usual time, and do my best to incorporate salt into my diet afterwards till I am back to normal.

So that is my tale of woe for the evening. Life continues to beat me like a rented mule and I have no choice but to endure it.

But I may be bowed, but I will not be broken. I will make it through whatever is thrown at me, and come out the other side stronger.

That said, I will talk to you tomorrow, dear readers!