Gonna do my best to actually get caught up on my videos today. Got eight left. Seems like a reasonable amount. And when I have caught up, it will be time to start making them again, at least occasionally.

I do kind of miss it.

First, we have me talkin’ about an issue that readers of this blog will recognize as a perennial one for me :

Namely, how the heck to go about being smart without being a dick but also without being ashamed of an asset. I recognize that there is a compulsive, cramped, neurotically self-analyzing quality to the question itself. Listening to myself talk about it gives me a strong feeling that I am chasing my own tail and the whole thing is wrongheaded from the getgo somehow.

The easy answer would be to say I should just be myself and let the chips fall where they may.

Maybe it really is that simple.

And now, some music accompanied by pictures of adorable animals doing adorable things.

Warning : fairly loud, and gets louder and more insistent as it goes.

Par for the course, really. Love the WKRP quote at the end, though. Jennifer (Loni Anderson) really was perfect. She was like an angel of blondeness. An avatar of the light side of the blond.

Kind of depressed today. But whatever. It’s only temporary and I know things to do to pull myself out of the morass. Clothes really do seem to make a profound difference. Right now I am lounging about naked because I haven’t finished doing the laundry yet. As a result, I feel all mentally flabby and formless and weak. I really do need some kind of container in order to pull myself together and feel connected and strong. Otherwise, I am semisolid at best.

I suppose I will know I have truly succeeded in growing a skeleton and committing to it when I feel just as strong hanging around naked as I do when I am fully dressed and put together.

In the meantime, I am going to sip ice water, hang with the fuzzies, and do my words.

More music please :

Two minutes. Impressive. I am glad I managed to rein in my UTBD (Urge To Be Done) that far. It’s sad to think that I have been producing substandard art for a long time simply because I am too eager for that feeling of accomplishment and release that comes from being DONE.

Explains why I have such trouble with going back to something and improving it too. That would take said thing from “done” to “not done”, and what could be worse than that?

I am improving over time, though. Eventually I will get to the point where I am mature and strong enough to let myself get lost in the process and not be in such a hurry to get to the “good part”. Writing, editing, revising… it can all be rewarding in and of itself if I just slow myself down and surrender to process. Have a little faith that, despite not being able to see the end from where I am, there will be one eventually, and therefore I am not “trapped”.

I’m just wandering. I’m still safe. Home is right here when I need it.

Next up, a very tired but happy post-Vcon me rambles on for a while.

Love that story.

Part of my problem with staying pulled together and coherent is the whole bed-seeking thing. The bed is so close and so tempting. The addiction is bad enough that I have actually caught myself feeling nostalgic for the time before I went back to school, when I could laze around to my heart’s content.

I take that as a good sign. It means that I have fully entered the school experience. It is requiring enough of an effort of me that I feel tired, and that’s a good thing. Way better than having all this energy bouncing around in my head making me insane.

And now, I lazily solve terrorism.

That little talk seems different after the Paris attacks. It’s no less true, of course, because the reasoning is flawless. If we refuse to be afraid of them, refuse to even recognize them as having any sort of political justification or religious cause or anything. Treat terrorists as the aberrant freaks that they are, and refused to let them goad you into chasing them down in a mad furor. That’s exactly what the little boy who gives the hotfoot to the giant wants. Refuse to give it to him.

ISIS is different. They are an army, with soldiers and tanks and money. It’s true they want to goad everyone into action, but in their case, action is actually justified because they are no small band of terrorists, they are, in effect, an occupying power, and we kind of have rules against people redrawing borders via force.

We’re really not fond of it.

Aw crap, I missed one earlier and I don’t have the mental wherewithal to figure out how to put it where it belongs. It will have to do go here.

Hmmm. I thought that was the one I recorded while actually at Vcon, but no. That is clearly my room, the one that I am sitting in as I type this. Hmmm.

As for myself, I know that I am an unorthodox thinker and I might well have a lot of paradigm shattering ideas. The problem is, I don’t even know what the paradigms are.

I don’t see the box.

Aaand finally, two more musical moments.

First, one that wandered off somewhere. But don’t worry, I got it back.

Hmmm. Pretty middle of the road for me. Nothing great about it, nothing terrible about it. It’s a meh.

And finally, I hope you liked those pictures of bad design choices, because here’s more of them :

And now, an excuse to go punch a shadow in the dick.

Well, that’s it, I am all caught up now. Time to do video #400. Soon, I promise.

But right now, bed needs me in it.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.