Here I am, waiting for a table  at my favorite  White Spot.

I knew this would be the case because I am here at 1:13, and the lunch rush is in full swing. Good thing I have you nice people to keep me company.

Did my final final exam today. It was pretty tough because it was completely cumulative.  There were questions from every singke section we covered. Plus it was ninety questions long, which is a lot.

But whatever,  it is done. I was, of course, the first one done. For better (usually) and for worse (occasionally),  I make up my mind quickly in these sorts of situations and don’t look back. A multiple choice exam is ideal for my kind of mind. It takes me mere seconds to figure out my answer and fill in the little circle. Then I am on to the next.

The exam was scheduled for three hours. I did it in half an hour.  I mean, 180 minutes for 90 questions? Thats two minutes a question. Who takes two minutes to pick between four potential answers?

Afterwards, I went to the bank to the cash La Cheque. At first, the guy said “We are going to have to put this check on hold for a week, is that okay?”

This caught me so off guard that I actually sputtered. I think that is the first time I have ever done that. I told him that, um, no, that was not going to be okay, and that last time there had been no problem.

Eventually everything got sorted out. I mean, I could see their point if it was a personal check drawn from another institution. But this was a government cheque. They don’t come any more solid than that.

They, of course, have the Xmas music playing here in White Spot. As always, my objection to omnipresent Xmas music is not that I don’t like Xmas music, it is that I don’t like BAD Xmas music. And there is only so much of the good stuff in the world. The longer I am exposed to the usual Xmas mix, the more likely I am to have to endure a stinker.

Like earlier, I had to sit through some crooner doing the seemingly impossible by making Jingle Bells sound sleazy and gross.

I am serious.I started feeling weird about all the kids in the restaurant hearing this slimeball. Don’t get in his “sleigh”, kiddies!

WTF? “My Favorite Things?” That’s not an Xmas song! And it sounds really weird being sung by a baritone crooner.

Not that there is anything  wrong with big burly manly men being into kittens and mittens and bright colored packages tied up with string. On the right guy, it could be downright sexy.

Nothing quite as sexy as a powerful positive alpha displaying nurturing behaviors. That is the full male package right there. Shows he will protect you And help raise the kids. Hubba Hubba.

Oh well, I have the cure for bad Xmas music back home : good Xmas music! Via my mp3 collection. I have great stuff in there, including stuff from A Very Special Christmas, an album of Xmas songs done way back in the Eighties by some popular artists of the Eighties and a lot of them are very good.

So you have stuff from Sting, The Pointer Sisters, Run DMC, U2, Maddona, Annie Lennox, and many more. Most of the time, when someone says “It’s an Xmas album with songs from today’s top pop stars!”, I would expect it to suck like the vacuum of space. But they got it right that time.

Here’s the Annie Lennox contribution. She is so cool.

(—)

Home now. Looks like I will be doing this whole entry via my tablet because my website is still messed up. The problem with that is that I don’t have a wordcount display on the tablet so I have no idea if I will do all my words tonight.

Last night, I blogged to a text file, in case you were wondering.

I am glad that I have officially finished Semester One of college. Feels good. But I don’t feel truly relaxed yet. Maybe that is just not in the cards for me, I don’t know. I would love to be able to relax and actually treat this time as a vacation, but I have already had a million vacations in my life. And I am goddamned sick of them. For me, work is the welcome relief.

Gonna have to start thinking about my Xmas Eve plans. I feel a lot stronger now than I have on previous years, but I still don’t necessarily want to be alone on Xmas Eve. Maybe this will be the year I finally go out and do something nice for myself that night, to celebrate.

Maybe I will take the bus out to Riverport, have a nice dinner, then go see the new Star Wars. I would still be alone, but I would be making myself feel good. And honestly, the main problem before has been my staggeringly intense social anxiety. It makes the usual suggestions people give to us lonely at Xmas types, like going to some bar event or helping out at the soup kitchen, nigh on useless.

For someone with my issues, going to a strange place full of strangers on a night when I am feeling especially emotionally vulnerable is just not in the cards. Not yet, anyways.

So Project Riverport it is. I just wish I had someone to cuddle up with after. Someone I can feel totally relaxed with because I trust them implicitly and their strength helps me feel whole. Someone strong and competent and caring who will appreciate someone kind, gentle, and affectionate.

Baby steps. Some day I will have a man, damn it.

Well I don’t know if I have made wordcount yet, but I am done. Time to lay down in the dark and think about stuff.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.