Today, I thought I would take a break from the usual soulful introspection and share some of my favorite unusual Xmas songs with you nice people.

I find they make a refreshing change from the usual array of Xmas songs. This is the Xmas songlist for the Doctor Demento crowd. I might sneak in a few of my favorite normal-ish songs too.

Like this weird yet oddly charming yet slightly disturbing tune.

I really did not expect there to be an original music video for that song! Little Gayla Peevey recorded that song when she was just ten years old. The song was a big hit, so much so that a zoo got the bright idea of having a “buy a hippo for Gayla” campaign, which raised the modern equivalent of $27K dollars. A baby hippo was bought and given to Gayla, who of course donated it back to the zoo.

Quite a lovely thing to do, really.

And I love the line about “just take him in the front door, that’s the easy thing to do!”. This kids is a pragmatist after my own heart.

Next, something a tad more modern, from geek troubadour Jonathan Coulton.

In case the song didn’t make it clear, a “podsafe” song is one that it is safe to include in your podcast because it is in the public domain and hence there is no chance you will get sued by some rights holder.

The song is cute on its own. But I have to admit, for me, the main appeal is how it’s a skillful and loving parody of another song from long, long ago.

Things like that make my comedy geek heart happy. They really do.

And speaking of my comedy geek heart, here’s a number off the two album set of Xmas songs my parents had when I was a kid and vinyl was still king.

Listen to the whole thing. The wackiness ensues about a minute into it.

I loved that song so much when I was a kid. It was so silly and fun, and to a kid, quite surprising. And speaking of surprises, I was surprised that this was not, in fact, a Spike Jones track. It’s very much in his style, including the use of sound effects and the inclusion of a “straight” version of the song at the beginning so that wackiness has more impact.

But no, it’s by some dude named Fred Waring. Well, I guess that style of doing comedy songs is not the sort of thing Spike Jones could copyright.

And now, a cautionary tale from the “naughty” side of the list.

Sorry for the crappy animation. It gets the job done.

And now, a familiar tune with ever so slightly different lyrics.

I love that song so damned much. True, it’s not technically an Xmas song any more, but I am including it anyway because it’s so delightful. It’s probably my favorite Bob Rivers (aka our parents’ Weird Al) song of all time. So many of those little details that turn a good piece of art into a great one.

And well, what comedy geek Xmas list would be complete without some Weird Al?

Not his best work, to be honest, but it’s from pretty early in his career. I’m sure that later, it would get much, much worse.

I love and worship Al, but sometimes, he’s not funny, just mean. And gross.

Now a number for those of us who prefer our fucked up Xmas tunes with a heavy metal edge.

Yes, it’s Xmas With The Devil. Note that I linked to the album version even though that meant not having any actual video content, as opposed to a video of them performing it live.

That’s because the album version sounds so much better. Love that rich studio production sound. And that is one truly wicked bridge/solo. That’s the thing about Spinal Tap… even though they are “not a real band” (I would argue that if you can get on stage and do the songs, you’re a band) they take the music part of their act quite seriously and their songs, even very silly ones, are musically good and well produced. To me (and to Felicity), that is what makes musical comedy work.

Both the music and the comedy have to be good.

But if Xmas with the Devil is still not heavy metal enough for you, let’s see what our (really, really) old friends at Miskatonic University are singing around this time of year.

Such glad tidings! Remember, their worshipers get eaten first and are thus spared the sight of the unimaginable horrors to come! So remember to nail a still-living fish to every door (missing one means no mercy when the madness from space comes) and draw a tentacled horror on the forehead of every child you wish to offer as tribute! Oh, and now’s the time to slaughter and devour that unspeakable horror from between dimensions that you’ve been fattened up with the blood of the unwary all year!

It’s all so… festive.

Still, as much as I enjoy that most fucked up of Xmas songs, I feel like I have heard that tune somewhere before. It really rings a bell. Like it’s something my friend Carol played for me or something. You remember my friend, Carol O. T. Bells? Great gal, and one of the famous Bells triplets, all a dead ringer for one another. That’s what they used to call them…. the Bells ringers.

Sorry, my mind wandered there. Where had I heard that tune before? Oh right! From here :

Man, that retarded guy really commits, doesn’t he? Shame he got his original tune stolen.

Anyhow, that’s our freaky deaky bent and unnatural Xmas for all us loners, freaks, weirdos, burnouts, dropouts, freakouts, square pegs, societal dregs, and all the other people for whom a normal holiday season is just too damned weird.

Enjoy, my people. You deserve it.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.