As is tomorrow.

After entering every bit of schoolwork I could glean from my class’ Moodle site into my little student calendar app, I now have a very convenient little list, sorted by due date, upon which to base my life. My plan is to do at least one item of schoolwork a day, seven days a week. Obviously, there will be times when I have to do more than that, and there will probably be times when I have to prioritize by other criteria, but the basic pattern has been formed and I intend to stick by it.

That means that today, of all days, is the most important one in creating this new habit, because I totally don’t have to do it. I’m good till Wednesday. I could totally slack off until Tuesday night and it wouldn’t change a thing, school-wise. And there’s a big part of me that wants to do just that, and revel in my oh so clever crapulence.

But that’s the Jagoff talking, and I intend to systematically and thoroughly cripple that motherfucker so he can’t mess up my life any more. There’s a lot of good parts of me that are attached to that side of me that I am going to keep – my bonhomie, my relaxed attitude towards life, my undeniable charm – but the slacker mentality has got to go.

Later isn’t better. It’s just later.

And if I stick to my one-a-day plan, I will stay way ahead of my schoolwork for the foreseeable future. I will have banished all the worry and stress about whether I am going to show up in class without my work done. Gone also will be stressing about deadlines because I will be way ahead of them. And I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I am an excellent student and totally on top of this whole one year intensive thing.

But I know it will not be easy. This sort of self-discipline is hard for me. And I no longer have an endless sea of boredom to keep me going. That’s the resource I tapped on in order to get this whole one thousand words a day thing going. I had zero going on in my life at the time, and writing my 1K a day gave me something to do that was productive. Something that meant something. Something that lasted long enough to be measured and kept.

That’s what turned it into a habit over time. My mind gradually learned that my thoughts and emotions had an outlet and didn’t have to circle endlessly in my head like a cow in a tornado. Or a plane endlessly circling the airport waiting for clearance to land. And once that fact was established not just in my thoughts but in my beliefs, it could gradually become a need.

I have talked recently about the possibility of having to skip a day’s blogging now and then if my schoolwork really piles up. Logically and sensibly speaking, it’s practically inevitable.

But when I think about it, I get this cold clutch of fear inside that makes me shrink away from the prospect like a mimosa. I really, really don’t want to go a day without blogging. It’s been the center post of my life for five or six years now and I can’t imagine going without it for even a day. The few times I have skipped a day or two because of a convention, I have felt it acutely. It’s made me feel guilty, unfulfilled, and kind of mentally congested/constipated. Like there’s something in me that just has to come out!

So I will avoid it as long as I can. I think I can keep it up for quite a long time (so to speak) by employing the “sometimes my blog entry is my schoolwork” method that I used occasionally when I was in Kwantlen. ^[wow] And the great part about that is said schoolwork should be a lot more interesting to read now that I am in VFS.

It might even be actual writing. You know, the creative kind. With a plot and characters and commas and shit.

So once I finish the day’s blogginization, I will rest for a bid, look up what is next on my list, and do it. Only after that is done will I give myself permission to slack off, play Fallout 4, and turn off my brain until I go out for dinner with La Gang.

I think this whole school thing will work out after all.

Hopefully, doing schoolwork every day will become a habit just like the blogging. I look forward to days when I have a craving to do some homework but there’s none to do. That seems like a good kind of unscratched itch. Granted, that’s unlikely to happen any time soon, as I have stuff for the rest of the month, but still.

As part of my research, I discovered that the last week of the term, Week 8 (this upcoming week is Week 6) will be pretty light. Only five classes… one on the Monday, two each on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Thursday and Friday off.

That’s about as much time off between terms as I really need. I am sure that by the time Term 2 starts in July, I will be raring to go. I am looking forward to having more real writing to do. Right now, they are easing us into it, while making sure we know it’s going to get way more intense. And that’s cool and all.

But I came to VFS to work, dammit. I want to know what it is like when my creative energies are totally drained. no doubt it will be quite the trip, and kinda scary since I have been stopped up inside for so very long that I can’t imagine being any other way.

Can’t wait to find out.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

[[wow]] That already seems like several lifetimes ago, and yet, it was less than two months ago! Amazing how time slows down when you put more in it. [[wow]