Feeling like the deadwood is building up inside of me and what I really need is a quick but thorough brushfire to clean that shit out.

I also feel like I am rocking a serious sleep deficit. I get the feeling I am gonna meed a whole lot of sleep this weekend. Which sort of sucks, as I would rather, ya know…. do things.

I am now on my third character in Fallout 4. I beat the game with my big barbarian earlier this week. Got pretty good with him. And there’s a lot of satisfaction in wielding a Conan sized sword and carving a swath of justice through the forgotten wastelands of a post apocalyptic world. I had fun as Thule.

My new character is known simple as The Engineer, and the idea behind her is that she’s extremely intelligent and perceptive, which in game terms means she can learn skills like lockpicking, science, chemistry, and gun modification. It also means she’s a crack shot and a heck of a sniper.

It is very interesting playing my first female character. I am discovering a lot of things about my own gender assumptions. One of the strongest reactions has been this nagging sense that this character should be male. Like part of me can’t believe there can be a hyper intelligent female engineer, or at least wants to switch the gender to what I consider “normal” in the situation.

I had no idea I harbored these feelings. It could be that I would be feeling the same stress with any female character as the voice of the female main character is distinctly non-male and therefore is a lot less like myself. So it sounds “wrong” to me in a way that the studly male voice of the male version of the main character never did.

And I am not a lot like HIM, either.

I like the female voice. It actually has a lot more expression than the male one. I feel like there’s a broader range of emotional choices open to me now, even though they are the exact same choices as the first two times through the game.

Eventually I will explore the world of mods and expansions to the game. I am determined to get all the gameplay I can out of the game, as games this good don’t come around too often and you have to milk them for all you can.

It’s weird going back to being a ranged fighter, though. I have to relearn some basic survival techniques, like backing away from enemies instead of rushing towards them with intent to smite. I did n’t give my gal a lot of speed or endurance, so she has to rely on caution and planning in order to get through the tough fights.

Well, that, and the super devastating shotgun she made by modifying the funk out of regular shotgun. That sure helps. Close-quarters combat is no problem for her. Ka BLAM.

Did a duh today. Misread the school schedule, showed up for class at 9 am, only to learn that I didn’t have class till 1 pm. The class I thought was this morning is actually taking place tomorrow morning. I could have stayed in bed for as long as I liked instead of schlepping to school. Instead, I ended up reading and napping on a couch in the Student Lounge.

And I have to get up and schlep again tomorrow. But at least I don’t have any classes in the afternoon. So I can come home early.

Next week is looking even more luxurious. I only have one full day of classes, Thursday. The rest are half days. Kickass.

The weirdest thing happened at the Subway across the street from the school, where I get my lunches. The lady who made my sub was either super stoned or just plain crazy, because the whole time I was dealing with her, she was either singing out loud or deep in her throat, which was worse. And she definitely seemed to be a million miles away. Trying to get her to understand what veggies I wanted on my sub was a serious hassle. And I honestly didn’t need this weird wobble added to my day.

One of the results of my usual state of confusion and unreadiness was that I thought my beat sheet for my feature film was due in class today, and that was cool except that my classmate Joss helpfully reminded me that the beat sheet is due to day before class. So I had to come home on Wednesday and bang the thing out as fast as I possibly good, which was not easy.

Then this morning I had to get to school early so I could print out twelve copies of it for class. And I was so proud of myself for getting it all done in time. And only THEN did I find out that the class in question was tomorrow.

Oh well. The job’s done regardless.

Speaking of printing, I recently learned that the printer at school can print on both sides of the paper (cool). It also can automatically collate what you are printing (very cool), and get this, it can STAPLE it as well (holy shit, it’s the future!).

It can also three hole punch it, which is also badass. It can do everything I want it to be able to do besides walking it to class for me. I now worship it a tiny bit.

Overall, I am enjoying school. Getting up in the morning and getting my ass out that door is still hard, but I am pretty sure that’s the universal condition. I am enjoying the writing I am doing. Even writing a hurried beat sheet was kind of fun. I even get to write another skit this weekend, this one featuring a “strong comic character”.

I’m not usually someone who writes from the character out. I tend to come up with the premise then create characters to fit. But I’m adaptable.

And I am really looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.