I finished the outline of my Bob’s Burgers episode, and I must say, I am very happy with it. I think it’s a good episode that really explores the characters, and the Bob and Linda and the restaurant plot I came up with – where they get a karaoke machine – has oodles of comedic potential.

But now that I am finished with that, I must now turn to the other thing I have that is due next Wednesday : the two skits I am submitting to Sketch class for potential inclusion in the skit show that will be produced next term (I think).

And I am freaking nearly all the way out over that, because I want them to be SO GOOD that I am putting way too much pressure on myself.

Luckily, neither skit needs to be one I submitted to class. That’s good because I don’t think any of them are all that great. I mean, they are okay, but nowhere near as good as I can do. The ones I submit this Wednesday have got to be something truly special. I really want to knock people’s socks off. I want them to think, “My god, who wrote that? Because it was hilarious!”.

I want them to stand up and cheer at the end of the skit.

The conundrum is that I know damned well that the way to achieve that end is to relax, stop putting so much pressure on myself, and let the funny come to me. My best stuff always comes from a place of fun and play. That was easy before because I wasn’t writing for anyone but me, essentially, in the sense that there was no specific audience I was trying to please and no gatekeeper’s approval to seek.

In this case, there is a gatekeeper – my prof Jackie – but I am guaranteed one skit in the show. So all she will do is pick which one.

But that only makes things worse, because I just know that if something I am not proud of is performed in the show – in front of a real audience, with real actors having to learn my lines and everything – then it will just fucking crush me.

Which is the problem in a nutshell, really : I care too damned much about this. Far beyond the point where it is productive. Sure, every artists has to care about their art in order to have any chance of achieving excellence. But they can’t afford to care so much that it makes them unable to act because the stakes are too damned high.

So some time between now and Tuesday night, I have to write not one but two dynamite, knockout, epoch-making skits that will leave audiences breathless with laughter and make me a god amongst men.

So ya know…. no pressure.

I have a few strategies in mind for getting the creative juices flowing. For one, I am going to go over my skits from long ago in order to try to get into that same mindset where I wrote what amused me and was pleased by it. I will also go through my skit idea files and try to be a little more open minded and forgiving this time so I don’t get too depressed by the experience.

A big part of the problem is that whatever I write has to be able to be performed on stage, with a very tiny budget, and no spotlights or any other kind of special lighting. This is severely limiting and quite frustrating to work around. And a little ironic, because in other classes I have been getting negative feedback about my tendency to only write conversations.

A conversation based skit would be perfect for the stage! I just resent having no choice in the matter.

I will get there eventually. I will work through all this panic and reluctance and get to a place where I can relax and let my mind wander and find that killer idea that will be hilarious, fun to write, and really show off my mad creative skills.

And then do the same thing again. Sigh. It has to be two really good skits because I have no idea which one Jackie will choose. If I do one really good one and one meh one, she might very well pick the meh one and then I will wanna shoot myself.

I have to admit, the whole thing has me so nervous that I am tempted to do the homework for Thursday and Friday first. Get them out of the way. But that might lead to my not having enough time to work on my skits, and that leads to rushing, and rushing is the mortal enemy of excellence.

And when it comes to this, I am all about the excellence.

Another factor in my favor is that there is no set length for a skit. The prof has said she needs short things as much as she needs long. So I might come up with a whole passel of little funny bits that can be used between skits. Stuff that is simple, only takes a couple of actors, and only take up a corner of the stage so people can change sets and stuff on the rest of the stage.

Then again, we have no spotlights, so…. that wouldn’t work.

Still, something like a monologue would at least give the other actors time to get into makeup and costume for the next real skit. It’s something to think about.

I know I am one funny, funny guy. I know I have written brilliant stuff before. I know that I can do it again. I just have to keep repeating one of my mantras to myself : The stakes don’t change the game. Whether it’s seen by a million people or just me, the skit is either funny or it isn’t. So I should just relax and pretend like it’s all just for fun.

Because at the end of the day…. everything is.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.