This must be the real battlezone for my infection. Everything else was preliminary. This is the big fight, where my body throws everything into shaking this fucking thing.

Because I’m tired.

Ever so tired. And bed is seemingly like a really wonderful place right about now. I have slept a ton already and I still want more. I just want to curl up in my nice warm bed and drift off. Bed seems so warm and friendly and inviting right now.

And that’s strange. As patient and loyal readers well know, my relationship with sleep is fraught with complications at the best of times, and as a result, sleep is something I rarely relish, let alone look forward to. It’s something I do because it needs doing, or because I literally do not know what else to do with myself. But even when I am very tired, I don’t look forward to sleep. I am craving it on an emotional level. I just do it because I know it’s needed and it will help.

So viewing the prospect of sleep with delight is quite rare for me. I am usually the sort of person (namely, a bit of a dick) that says you can’t say you enjoy sleep, because you are not awake to enjoy it. The best you can say is that you enjoy the idea of sleep, or the things leading up to and/or following from sleep, or things associated with sleep.

But saying you enjoy sleep is like saying you really enjoyed your open heart surgery. No, you didn’t,  you weren’t there!

But at the moment, I can dig it. I am pretty sure there is more than merely the wish to fast-forward life that my depression makes me crave. ^[1] I honestly don’t feel that way, at least not right now. I would rather be awake, playing my current game (Shadow Warrior 2) or hanging out online or something.

And yet, I know that after I am done blogging (warning : may not make wordcount). I will go right back to sleep until it is time to get up, show, and go to FRED.

Oh well, At least the other symptoms have tamped down a little. My lung are heavy but I am not doing a lot of coughing, and what coughing happens is usually due to my runny nose running in the wrong direction. And the runny nose is less severe than before.

But I am weak, short of breath, and feel generally unwell. I suppose I should be hoping the crap in my lungs would break up so I could cough it up and be rid of it. That way I would get the lung capacity back and not feel so tired and weak.

But I am so tired and week that coughing up phlegm seems like too much work.

I am less certain than before that I will make class tomorrow. Things have gotten a little worse, overall. Plus I will be going out into the wintry cold tonight, which might not be a wonderful idea, but fuck it.

I will take my chances. If I stayed home tonight, it would cause a bunch of problems that I am too tired to even think about. Not the least of which would be the depression that came from not being with my friends.

Still. I might have no choice. I will make the call at around 5.

Well I am all out of things to say, I guess I am done for the night.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.