Editor’s Note : This is the second version of this blog post because SOMEHOW, pressing Ctrl-Z to Undo deleted everything in the post except that first sentence, and I could not undo the undo, and so that was kaputski. So I apologize if I come across as a tad snippy tonight. It’s because I am pissed off solid about something that has nothing to do with you, my dear and gentle readers.
Don’t worry. This is not going to be another of my “getting there” posts.
That’s still a problem (and I am so sick of only getting halfway there, I can tell ya) but that;s not what I will be talking about tonight.
The big news is : I sort of have a freelance writing gig!
It’s kinda complicated.
See, I was on Upwork (love that site) and I came across this gig for someone to write stories in a generic internet chat style. Like this :
<PersonA> Hello fellow fictional character!
<PersonB> I return your friendly greeting heartily!
<PersonA> Class went well today!
<PersonB> Oh? What class did you have that you are taking?
<PersonA> Writing Naturalistic Dialogue!
You get the idea. (For some reason, I was hearing that dialogue in the voices of Rocky and Bullwinkle in my head. )
That sounded like a super fun gig, so I applied for it. And I decided that I would pull out all the stops and submit my bid in the form above.
But I had neither the time nor the proper frame of mind to write something serious, compelling, and well thought out. So instead, I was my usual goofy ass self, and wrote a little something that goes exactly like this :
<SlowNewsday> I think it’s the writer’s attempt to wow the client with his ability to handle the format.
<AboveBored> Really?
<SlowNewsday> Yup.
<AboveBored> Sounds like the kind of thing that will either charm the heck out of the client or come across as completely obnoxious and irritating.
<SlowNewsday> He gets that a lot.
<AboveBored> Yeah, that’s pretty much the street where he lives. But wait! <SlowNewsday> What?
<AboveBored> If he’s the writer, than what are we?
<SlowNewsday> …..you know, I have no idea.
<AboveBored> Are we really just characters in some fat dude’s imagination?<SlowNewsday> It’s worse than that. We”re not even characters in a real book. We’re just two usernames that he came up with to use in a literary device based on something only exists as ones and zeroes anyway.
<AboveBored> If that’s true, then how can I have my own personality and thoughts?<SlowNewsday> But do you? Really?
<AboveBored> ……no. 🙁
<SlowNewsday> Wait… what was that rumbling sound?
<AboveBored> Oh no! The fabric of reality is crumbling from our existential tenuousness!
<SlowNewsday> How can a fabric crumble?
<AboveBored> NOT MY POINT! The very substance of our existence is fading away! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO NITPICK!
<SlowNewsday> Yeah, but is that really happening, or is that just something the writer thought up because he suddenly remembered he was supposed to be building suspense with every line?
<AboveBored> Does it really matter?
<SlowNewsday> …no, I suppose not.
<AboveBored> Who can really tell what will happen next in this page-turning existential crisis?
<SlowNewsday> Well the client can. IF they hire the writer.
SlowNewsday and AboveBored look out at the client with hopeful smiles on their faces.
Wow, 302 words. Longer than I thought.
Anyhow,. like it said in the script, I figured this would either charm and impress the client or cause them to label me the most obnoxious person on Upwork.
Well guess what? It was Option A! The client loved it. Said they loved reading it. Said it was probably the best submission.
And that’s kinda what I was going for.
So now, after we finalize on payment (I took a rough guess and asked for $100 per 300-400 line story), I will write two test stories for the client (for which I will get paid) and if they like my stuff, I’ll get the full on gig.
Not bad for someone who has only been on the market since April 22.
And obviously, if I land the gig, it will do wonders for my career as a freelancer. And possibly as a writer too. It’s not totally clear from the next of the job posting whether or not this will be under my own name or ghostwriting, but the important part to me is that it will mean both some extra cash and I will no longer be an unknown quantity on Upwork.
And that will help me a lot when bidding for future gigs. Right now, I am just one of the masses of people trying to get that first gig. I have no proof that I am reliable, easy to deal with, open to making changes, or any of that.
Let alone whether my work is any good. I can attach files to a proposal, and for the ones I really want, I attach whatever seems relevant.
But realistically, who has time to read everything twenty or more applicants send in?
So this gig could lead to more good things to come. I think being a freelance writer would suit me, for a while at least. I would be able to earn cash (maybe even… gasp… a living!) and get to do a wide variety of weird little jobs that stimulate and challenge my creativity and my skill.
And that sounds like a lot of fun.
Granted, I am not actively pursuing a job as a TV writer right now, but being a freelancer isn’t entirely incompatible with that. It could actually help a lot, because based on the grand ego boost land half a job is giving me, freelance success could really help me build the confidence to start going to media functions and networking.
And that is, as far as I know, how it’s done. Meet the right person, wow them with my talent and charm, get a show.
I might be oversimplifying.
Being able to earn a living (which in my case would mean making around a thousand a month) would do amazing things for my self-esteem. And that goes double for the resulting ability to get the fuck off social assistance.
It would be really great if I could finally stand on my own two feet and face the world as an equal. A contributor. A citizen. Not just a ward of the state.
Then maybe I could overcome a large block of my social anxiety by getting rid of one of the main sources of my shame (as irrational as that is) and make me feel like I might actually be a competent adult after all.
It’s kind of sad how much of a glowing, city on the hill shining on the distant horizon type goal that is for me.
Depression has a way of drastically lowering your standards.
But I don’t care. For me, being self-sufficient will be a major triumph, a long-delayed but never totally denied entrance into adulthood and something approaching being a real person and not some cipher hiding in the cracks of the Internet.
I deserve to have a home and a husband and honors and a handful of critters (help, I’m stuck in an alliteration) and all the other things I want, too.
