I’m going to talk about it.

However, you will have to forgive me if the language I use to talk about it is uncharacteristically indirect. There are aspects of I would not care to have associated with my name.

Also, it’s about my sex life, and I don’t want to overburden your tolerance levels.

Even an open book like myself has some idea that some things are best left unsaid when speaking to a general audience. If I had my druthers, I would be completely open about everything all the time, and let the chips fall where they may.

That would not, however, be very smart of me. So despite my dreams of being a figure of international controversy, there are some cards I must keep close to my chest.

Or some area near there.

Anyhow. The basic deal is that I have discovered that for a rather old game I have called Skyrim there exists a massive community of people making “mods” (short for modifications, things that alter the game in some way) of a very adult nature, and it has led to me having more fun than I have ever had in my life.

That this coincides with my decision to take the bull by the horns (more on that later) (not really) and get my Secret Informant work done is of absolutely no surprise to me. For my entire life, whenever something big and important and life-changing has come along, it has been accompanied by a very enticing video game of one form or another simply landing in my lap and providing an attractive but ultimately self-destructive distraction right when I need to focus most.

It doesn’t bother me any more. I have come to expect it. I am more amused by it than anything else because at this point in my life, it has little impact. I can still get done what I need to get done and keep my playtime within appropriate limits.

So while this marvelous new world of erotic adventure can be hard to tear myself away from, once I do, I do not crave it or long for it. I know that it is there for me for when I am ready for it. I feel no sense of deprivation or disconnection.

So I don’t need to cling to it like a lifeline. In effect, it is such an effective drug that it satisfies be enough and in such a deep and unprecedented way that I free fairly free of any sort of compulsive need for something to distract me from my pain and/or fill the enormous void that lies in the middle of my soul, where my heart should be.

My heart (and other parts) are right where they need to be and I am, if not exactly blissful, at the very least highly satisfied with my life right now.

I wonder if this is what it is like to be sexually satisfied. I do feel a certain unfamiliar kind of calm equanimity right now.

Life’s pretty decent these days.

Of course, that would not be the case had I not actually buckled down and wrote a third version of the teaser trailer for Secret Informant.

And it sucks. It sucks hard. It’s just as boring and generic as the first two tries. We could probably “get away” with it, but fuck that noise. My dreams cannot be confined to so small a space. I want to make something that stands out from the pack and that showcases my talents. Not some third rate generic trash that could be written by any office drone smart enough to use CeltX.

Luckily, writing Crapsack 3.0 has unblocked my imagination and I am now filled to the brim with amazing ideas about how to make something that will be funny, unique,  and very, very shareable.

OK, maybe the sexual satisfaction had a hand (so to speak) in unblocking my creativity too. So much for asceticism. All those celibates thinking their sexual frustration gets them closer to God.

Only when it is relieved, boys and girls. Only when it is relieved.

Anyhow, whatever the cause, I am running fast and clear now and I just know I will knock out a really bright and funny piece thqat will delight the masses without any need for special effects or expensive production at all.

In fact, rather the opposite. (More on that later) (for real this time)

It’s amazing the effect that turning a game you already love into a sexual wonderland full of magic and wonder and really wild things can do for a fella.

Especially a big ol’ perv like me! It’s a pervert’s paradise out there.

So all in all, my life is qu

And all because of some very hardworking and talented nerds who chose to use their gifts in order to create toys for all the grown up girls and boys to play with and for no other reason than the wanted to make life more fun for others.

Because the kicker to all of this is that all of this stuff is free. It doesn’t even have ads. It’s the sharing economy at its finest. My “all it takes is one nerd” principle exemplified.

God, I love the Internet.

Other than my frisky virtual love life, things have been nicely quiet for me today. Tomorrow will be pleasant but fairly hectic, as Joe is taking me to Mister Big and Tall to get me a summer weight jacket and a nice pair of shorts for my birthday^[1] in the afternoon and then dinner and hanging out with tout la Gang in the evening.

It’s good that all I have toi get done is my blogging. Time would get pretty tight if I also had a episode to write!

So all in all, my life is pretty freaking groovy right now. I am creatively stoked, I have money in the bank, and I even have something a lot like a sex life.

Only without all the hassle of involving other people.

But ya know… baby steps.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.