It’s 10 am.

And I haven’t slept yet.

Instead of becoming more sensible about my new hobby, I have become more foolish. first it was staying up til 5 am. Then 8 am. Now 10 am.

Where will it end? when will I SLEEP?

Some time this afternoon, I suppose. The moment I am done blogging, I will go eat lunch then go to bed. I hope I can get in three or four hours. After that, when I get up, it’s time to work on today’s episode.

Hopefully, I can do the verbal part before Felicity shows up to hang out with La Gang . Then it’s a matter of half an hour of work to put in the visuals.

What can I say. I’m a chatty guy.

The real temptation is to go to sleep right now because, of course, now that I have stopped acquiring and testing and enjoying and etcetera-ing, I can feel the weight of all that sleep I should have been getting weighing me down like leaden armor and my eyes are dropping so much it’s like they are reverse-blinking, closed for more time than they are open. And I am ever so woozy.

I’m serious. The wooz. It’s…. amazing.

But going to sleep now would be ALL kinds of stupid because my blood sugar is already dangerously low. Who knows how low it would be before I woke up?

Assuming I woke up at all.

And so, I snack. Normally I snack for pleasure. Sometimes I snack in order to stop hunger from annoying me. But not today.

Today, I snack…. to live.

That’s one thing I have discovered about my new hobby : as troubling as it has been to have it take up so much of my life in so short a time, when I go directly from it into one of my two daily writing tasks, I find myself brimming with creative energy from the mental stimulation and fun, and the work seems much easier than usual.

That’s why I am blogging now instead of when I wake up later. I am still jazzed from all the sexual adventuring in Skyrim (as well as the regular kind of adventuring) and I figure that is both what is keeping me awake^[1]  and my best chance to get this done today without too much stress and strain.

Plus, I am slap-happy from sleepiness, so I am extra wacky right now. Maybe I should have done my episode instead. Might have been my funniest to date!

You know, I’m pretty funny to date.

So today should be interesting, he hears in a Donald Trump voice in his head because he is the ghost that haunts us all and feeds on our souls while we sleep.

Oops, he just released a statement saying “FAKE NEWS. I have never feasted on anyone’s delicious, juicy, orgasmically better than anything outside of being a ladies room toilet seat , SOUL. They are very good, or so I have heard FROM OTHERS WHO ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE ME. I would never do that to anyone. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows what good guy I am. In fact, I am the best person there has ever been at being good. The only other person who came close was Jesus, but really there’s no comparison because he died when he was like 30 and I have been a great guy for over seventy years. In fact, one of the things I’ve always hated about Jesus… ”

The president then clutched his neck as he was hit with a dart from a blowgun wielded by one of his senior staffers, who then bit into his cyanide tooth and died.

“Uh oh!” said the Resident. “Uh oh, uh oh, UH… oh! I’m getting my sleepy time cramp! It’s sleepy time I gotta go sleepy bye now! Bye everybody!”.

The President then slumped to the floor and was shoved hard out of the way by a clearly panicky Sean Spicer, who babbled “the President was obviously going to finish that sentence about what he hates about Jesus by saying “is absolutely nothing because Jesus Christ was, was our Lord and Saviour and came to us in light and perfect to um… um…. help. And Mister Trump never compared himself favorably to the Nazarene, or at all, and anyone who thinks he did is a liberal social justice warrior who makes babies smoke crack. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go, I have to go pikc up my kids at…. at… home. Bye bye!”

Seam Spicer then tried to bite the senir staffer’s cyanide tooth before violently and seemingly joyfully soiling himself while chanting “See? Now they can’t make me do it again! Nobody wants Smelly Sean in the White House. Right? Right. ”

Just as the bewildering miasma of Spider’s effluvia hit the reporters like a sledge hammer to the brain, Steve Bannon appeared in a puff of brimstone and shouted “Our contact has been fulfilled and now I must return you to my master’s embrace. ”

He then unhinged his jaw and swallowed Trump’s head whole, rapidly shedding his human form and emerging as a sluglike serpentine creature who slowly swallowed the president before saying, in a voice like a million angry flies, “I can’t wait to shit him out in Hell!” before leaping into the air, landing with an earth-shattering crash. and wriggling down a freshly opening crack in the floor,  and disappearing.”

This cracks spread and deepened until the White House and everyone and everything in it slid down into the deepest pits of Hell to be doomed ro relive their worst nightmares for all eternity.

For Sean Spicer, not a lot will change.

A reporter who had been stuck in traffic when the incident occurred but watched the whole thing on his iPhone chuckled wryly.

“All in all” he said. “as far as Trump press conferences go, that went pretty well!”.

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Wow, where did all that come from? I gotta remember what this kind of writing feels like, because it was a ton of fun and quite cathartic and hey, it might even be funny.

I think I know what would go on my cracked.com pitch reel now.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to lapse into a coma for a bit.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.