And yet, my body keeps wishing it was and trying to convince me it is.

See, normally, I have cola with supper on days when I have nothing going on in the evening but work and/or blogging. I have my caffeine fix with my evening meal and then I go use that energy to make the words happen.

But I am out of cola. What I have is root beer. ^[1] And there are a lot of similarities between the two. They are almost the same color, they have roughly the same density, and they have parts of their flavour profile in common.

So my poor caffeine craving body practically whimpers every time I take a drink of what turns out not to be cola.

I’m starting to wonder if I am developing a serious cola habit.

The Keys to the Kingdom

Hey look, section headings.

Finally got my new keyboard today. Typing on it to write these very words.

And of course, it feels weird and wrong and my fingers are not happy with it. That’s to be expected. I spent a long time typing on a very old and worn-in keyboard where the keys had been typed on so much that some of the letters had worn off.

I had to find my N and my M by dead reckoning.

Going from that thoroughly broken in (and broken down) old thing to a new keyboard with new springs and clear and bright letters is bound to be a shock.

Plus, I feel like this keyboard is smaller than my previous one, which is odd because you would think that sort of thing would be standard.

But I suppose  you can always shove the keys a tiny bit closer to each other, I guess.

What I really need is an oversized keyboard for my oversized hands.  Regular keyboards are slightly too small for me. I think a keyboard around 18 percent bigger than the norm, with proportionately larger keys, would be ideal for me.

But I looked at oversized keyboards before I bought this bare-basics model, and holy geez are they expensive. Basically, imagine what you would pay for a normal keyboard, double it, then add a hundred bucks.

American, not Canadian.

So I will make do, as I always do.

Luckily, my incredibly strong need to communicate will easily pull me through the breaking in period for this keyboard

What I Must Write

In therapy today, a story idea came up and I think now is the time that I should finally write it. It has a point that needs to be made and I feel like I am the one to make it.

But god damn is it going to be hell to write it.

It will be hell because I have to get in the lion’s cage of some of the worst things that ever happened to me and get those ferocious pussies to put on a play I wrote.

Oh yeah. I decided it would work best as a short play instead of a short story. It’s all dialogue anyway. And it’s perfect for licensing to small, local theater company who wants to put on something with a lot of impact but a small budget.

Simple setup. Front desk at a police station.Easily depicted with a table on a riser.  One cop, one kid, and a few other characters. A little background noise and you are ready to go with minimal fuss.

It’s about bullying. That’s all I will say about it. I have to keep the energy contained until I actually write the fucking thing.

It will not be fun to write. But I will feel much better once I am done.

I swear, sometimes writing can be like passing a stone.

Still Rimming the Sky

And boy, does it taste good. Talk about tasting the rainbow! *laugh track*

I told my therapist about my decision to stop beating myself up over what I am doing in my life and simply accept that I have an enjoyable hobby and good friends and my own creative output and that’s enough for me right now.

Viewed that way, I have a pretty sweet life. Lots of time to have fun and goof around. A game I love to play. Cash in the bank, which helps a whole hell of a lot to improve my mood and make me feel less vulnerable in the world.

Let me tell you of a highly typical bit of mental buffoonery. For nearly a month, I had been wondering why my bank balance hadn’t changed in a while. Was I still getting paid? Whaddy Fug?

It took until a couple of days ago for me to remember that I had sent the money I was getting to Paypal, but I had forgotten to move it from Paypal to my bank. D’oh!

So by the time I got around to it, there was $180 in there. American. That turned into around $225 when converted into Canadian currency.

So I am doing just fine. In fact, I dunno what I am going to do with the money.

Maybe I will get that fancy Serta office chair on which to lower my gigantic buttocks. I spend most of my day sitting here at the computer. Might as well be comfortable.

Maybe I will feed my addiction to Skyrim by buying myself a copy of Skyrim Special Edition, aka SSE. It’s the same game but with souped up graphics and sound and so on. Something for slightly closer to modern computers.

A graphical upgrade for the game could be pretty nice. But I am not going to tocuh it until I know all my favorite mods will work with it.

No mods, no deal.

Heck, maybe I will even buy one of those expensive oversized keyboards.

The possibilities are endless!

Functionally, not literally.

But you probably already figured that out.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.