“Could you repeat that?” said Timbo.
“You heard me. ” said Alan “Shark” Templeton, relishing, as always, the job of being the bearer of bad news. “Nobody gets in. Ever. The whole thing is some sick fuck’s idea of a joke There’s no Club Fruvous, just some asshole sitting there watching us idiots stand around in the rain for hours waiting to get in to a nonexistant club. It’s all bullshit. ”
“Where did you hear this?” asked Laura “”Lynx” McPherson.
“Hear it? “: said Shark. “Whaddaya mean, hear it. I didn’t have to hear it from anyone. I just figured it out. You know, by thinking. You should try it sometime, it’s fun. ”
“Hey, fuck you, Shark. ” said Lynx.
“With whose dick?” he replied, grinning the predator grin that earned him his nickname.
“Well explain this, Shark.. ” said Danny “Tiger” Thompson while unconsciously moving in between Shark and Lynx. “If nobody gets in, how come the line moves?”
“It moves because people give up and leave, idiot. ” said Shark. “Which is what we would do if we had any sense. ”
“You first. ” said Manuela “Sable” Guiterrez.
“And miss a chance to watch you idiots make fools of yourselves in public? Never. ”
“You’re doing the same thing we are, moron. ” said Troy “Bull” Santini.
“Yeah, Bull, but for me it’s different, because… ” began Shark.
“Excuse me. ” said an exquisitely dressed middle aged lady ahead of them in line. “But you’re wrong. People do get in. In fact, almost everyone who makes it to the front of the line gets in. I should know. I’ve been in five times. ”
“But if people are getting in,. ” said Lynx, “then how come the line moves so slow?”
“Because once they get in, people don’t want to leave. ” said the lady.
“It’s that good? ” said Bull.
“Better. ” said the lady. “It’s not like the other clubs. Everyone there is warm and friendly and funny. The whole vibe of the place is extremely relaxed and intimate. You’ll be amazed at how fast total strangers will feel like close friends. And there’s free food everywhere. Non-alcoholic drinks are free too. The only thing they charge for is liquor. ”
“That sounds amazing. ” said Lynx, eyes full of stars.
“Sounds creepy to me. ” sniffed Sable.
“Sounds good to me. ” said Bull, with a big grin plastered across his hard-chiseled face.
“No kidding. ” said Shark. “That’s the kind of place I’ve been looking for my whole life. ”
This earned him some strange looks from the others.
“What? ” he said. “I’ve got feelings. ”
“So what you are saying, ” said Tiger, “is that it’s worth the wait. ”
“Absolutely. ” said the lady. “I just wish it was bigger. ”
“Bigger?” said Bull.
“How big is it?” said Lynx.
“Oh, it’s tiny!” said the lady. “Couldn’t be more than six tables , and maybe three or four people for each… like I said, it’s intimate. ”
“Why is it so small? ” said Sable.
“Oh, so now you’re interested? ” said Shark.
“Fuck off, Shark. ” Sable said sweetly.
“I don’t know why it’s so small. ” said the lady. “But get this… it has a VIP section. ”
“Bullshit. ” said Tiger.
“I swear to god. ” said the lady. “It’s the size of a bus shelter and I have never seen anyone go in or come out of it, but I swear it’s there. ”
“Weird. ” said Bull.
Just then, the line moved forward.
“I guess we’ll find out when we get there. ” said Shark.
I know all this because I can see and hear everything that happens in and around my club from my security booth in the VIP section.
I like to watch people having fun. It gives me a warm feeling, almost like I am a part of things. Accepted. Included.
Perhaps even welcome.
Sometimes I get up from my chair and stretch my hands torwards the wall and imagine I can feel their heat. Their life force. The movement of their bodies, the drumbeat of their lives, the beating of their hearts.
But all I can really feel are the vibrations of the music and conversation.
On bad nights, I find myself staring at the door that leads to the club and wishing I could bring myself to open it.
This is my club. I tell myself. These are my people. I’ve successfully created a club that even I would feel comfortable in and all I have to do to enjoy the fruit of my labour is open the door and let them up. Or go out to them.
So I stare at that doorknob and will myself to do it. But nothing happens.No matter how hard I try,. I stay frozen in my booth, watching them while staying hidden, keeping people at a safe distance from me.
Because I know, deep down, that I can never, ever. ever let anyone in, ever. I am doomed to forever being on the outside looking in. I can see it all from where I am sitting, and know more about some people than they know themselves. I can see everything from many angles and many points of view. I can make brilliant observations and spot-on predictions because of all I have seen from this tiny room.
But I can never be a part of it. Not really. To open that door would destroy me. Of this I am certain. It would destroy me and I would freak out and lose myself and after it all calmed down, I would be even lonelier than I was before.
So I sit. And watch, unseen. Not even my employees know who I am. They get their pay via direct deposit and their orders via text message. For all they know. I could be a Lovecraftian horror, or a tiny Asian woman, or even a famous actor who wants to observe real live people in order to research a role.
But I am none of those. I’m just some messed up dude who watches other people lead the kind of life he has always wanted but can never had.
And that wouldn’t be so bad…. if I wasn’t so God. Damned. LONELY.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow,.