Tonight’s entry will probably piss some people off something fierce.

To those people, I apologize.  But ask yourself : why are you so mad?

In a way,. it will be a continuation of my line of thinking about people not being willing to invest any effort or time in things they say they care about, but with a twist.

Basically, what I’ve been pondering today is what I will call the ‘passive reflex’ but which probably deserves a way better name than that.

It has to do with how we respond to life’s challenges. The active reflex says either attack the problem or flee it, but DO SOMETHING, DAMMIT.

The pasisve reflex says either hide or go limp, but above all, DO NOTHING.

Both have their drawbacks. There’s many people beating their head against the wall over and over again because of their inability or unwillingness to do nothing, or rather, to stop, examine their situation, think about it, and then take intelligent action.

But what I want to talk about tonight is the passive reflex because it’s what makes people give up on things.

That’s not that bad in and of itself, but a lot of the time, the thing they are giving up on is themselves. Their hopes, their dreams, their drives, their desires.

And all to avoid what seems like extremely trivial challenges. So what gives?

For one thing, as I have said in this space before, failure can become addictive. The active portion of the addiction is relief. When you give up in the face of a challenge, you go from stressed to relaxed and ‘free’ in a heartbeat and that sudden release of tension can feel very good. Practically euphoric.

The failure addicted is hooked on that little high. And in order to ensure their supply, their develop a pattern of rapidly escalating tension and fear and anxiety so that the moment of sweet release that resolves the situation without requiring any actual action be taken happens as soon in the process as possible.

In essence, you freak out because it works.

It works because it gets you out of the situation rapidly and rewards you for doing so.

The mind then, as a matter of course, justifies this action after the fact, and it’s this process of justification that I am pondering today.

When people bash millennials, you often hear tales of spoiled kids being suddenly surprised and offended by the idea that life expects them to do things they don’t want to do and some of those things are not easy at all.

We have all heard the horror stories from employers who find their new hires have to be slowly and painfully walked through the absolute basics of what it means to work for a living before they can even start the job.

What, you mean I have to come here whenever you want me to for like hours at a time AND do a bunch of stuff I don’t feel like doing just because you say so?

What unspeakable cruelty is this? Why is life so hard? Nobody could do that, it”s IMPOSSIBLE, that’s too hard!

But it isn’t too hard, kids. You’re just not willing to put in the effort it takes. Life is work. Nothing truly good comes without cost. That’s just how life works.

And before you go declaring that to somehow be unfair, remember that it works the exact same way for everybody. So to say it is unfair, you have to believe that things should be different for you and you alone.

And how privileged is that? What makes you so special? And just what do you think it “wrong” with all the people who pay the price for what they want and consider it worth it? What do they have that you don’t?

Life’s not meant to be easy. If everything was easy, life would be boring. And the universe does not owe you an effort and suffering free path to the top.

Look at it this way. Every time you give up on or refuse to even try something related to what you want out of life, you are saying “it’s not worth it. ”

So if you dream of being a famous artist but never get around to actually painting anything, you are saying “this dream of mine is not worth the effort to me. ”

And that’s fine. Maybe it truly isn’t worth it to you and you should seek something else to do with your taelents and energies.

But if that’s true, at least be honest enough with yourself to give up on the dream. You’ve already decided that the price is too high for it to be worth attaining, so really, you are only giving up what you have already rejected.

Why would that hurt?

Or are you waiting around for someone else to make it easy enough for you? Because I have news for you, princess. Nobody is going to do that. If you’re an adult, your time of other people making things super easy for you is over and you have lost your right to give up and then whine about it.

Because who are you whining to? Whining is what children do when they want their parents to come to their aid, and when you do it as an adult, you just look pathetic. There is nobody out there who can take over your life when you get tired or cranky.

You are on your own, and no, that does not mean you have been thrown out into a cold cruel world that expects the imPOSSIBLE from you.

All it asks is that you, ya know, try. And I mean seriously try, not just “he look everybody! I’m trying! See me try? You can’t say I never tried! So you will come to my rescue NOW, right?” type trying.

I mean trying and trying till you get it right type trying.

And if you are not willing to do that, at least admit your dreams mean very little to you and are therefore not worth the effort it would take to achieve them.

And if the idea of giving up on your dreams makes you sad, mad, or upset, then maybe you should reevaluate what you consider to be a price worth paying.

Because the world is full of people with dreams they are unwilling to pay to pursue.

so just by paying the price, you put yourself way ahead of the pack.

Why not parlay that edge into a future?

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.