Subtitle : A Frank and Ernest And Jo-Jo the Dog Boy Discussion Of One Big Fat Hairy Dudes’s Many Perversions and Proclivities

(WARNING : The following may contain traces (or great heaping wads) of biology, proctology, urology, scatology, sexology, and pretty much every other really filthy -ology you can think of…. and so many more.

Oh, and I will be talking about my needs as a horny gay man. So if that kind of thing is your Kryptonite, feel free to fly home to Lois Lane with my blessing. )

In case the all caps screaming and multifaceted caveats above don’t provide enough warning, this is the blog entry where I talk about my sexuality in detail, with neither shame nor inhibition. This will most definitely include discussion of the Holy Trinity of the gay man’s sex life – my mouth, my cock, and my asshole – and so if that is all A Bit Too Much (or WAY WAY TOO MUCH for you, feel free to skip this one.

Enough warning. Let’s get down to it, and to do that, we will start at the root (so to speak) of the issue :

I am so fucking horny it’s driving me insane.

Seriously. It’s becoming a major distraction. Every inch of me craves male attention.

My mouth drools at the thought of having a nice hot hard cock to suck. I am drooling right now as I write this, in fact. I long to wrap my lips around a tasty juicy cock and suck it like it was my only source of oxygen.

Aside : Isn’t it amazing how oral sex can be as pleasurable (or even more pleasurable) for the person performing it as it is for the person receiving it? Two people can be perfectly happy getting what they want out of the encounter with nobody having to make any sort of sacrifice or be the ‘loser’ in the situation.

That kind of cosmic harmony is one of the most wonderful things about the multi-splendored thing that is human sexuality.

And to think, people ruin that with a lot of stupid rules and shame.

Anyhow, back to the plot. Where was I? Oh right, with a mad craving for cock.

But that’s not all my mouth wants because it also craves butt. Eating butt is one of my favorite things to do. If I see a really sexy butt, my first instinct is to dive in with my tongue out and hands ready to spread cheeks.

So yes. I greatly enjoying licking people’s buttholes. You know, the place where the poop comes out. I know that is super gross to a lot of people. All I can say is, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it  Even if you never take that route yourself, try letting someone else doing it for you.

Trust me, you will love it, and learn to appreciate those of us who do it.

And yes, slurping on people’s anuses does come with the risk of encountering someone who is not one hundred percent clean back there.

Personally, I don’t mind. Just adds to the flavour to me, as long as it is in small amounts. Adds to the thrill of the taboo too.

It’s certainly not going to slow down my eternal hunger for butt.

My cock has cravings too. Like any penis. it is really just looking for a friendly orifice willing to give it shelter in return for some deep down dirty dicking.

So I am not a total bottom. Far from it. I love to hump. And be humped. That goes both ways just like oral sex thing. And I think one of the most exciting things about being a gay man is having that flexibility of roles.

And of course, I would never turn down a good blowjob. Or even a fairly bad one. Even a highly inexpert blowjob feels very nice.

Of course, ideally, we’d 69, so I could have both kinds of fun.

It’s too bad that is extremely impossible to do the same thing with the butt fucking. Or rather, it’s impossible with only two people.

Get a third dude involved and you can takes turns being Lucky Pierre (aka the one in the middle who gets to fuck one guy while getting fucked by another. )

My God, that sounds good to my greedy horny ass.

And speaking of my ass, it, too, has its cravings. Well,. craving, really… it wants to be stuffed with hot hard cock too, and fucked till I just can’t take it any more.

Judging by how horny I feel right now and how hungry my back door feels, that could take a lot of high quality dicking. I might need to establish a rota.

I suppose that my butthole also craves a licking, but only if a dicking isn’t available. Getting your ass eaten can be heavenly but it doesn’t  that deep down bitch itch that a gay man in heat like me needs scratched.

The reason for my feeling randier than an old maid at a strip club is that I just can’t reach orgasm from masturbation lately.

It is; primarily. Paxil’s fault. Something about its ability to tamp down emotional responses in order to make my anxiety manageable also interferes with the pathways that trigger orgasm, and that puts me in quite the pickle.

Peter Piper picked a peck of prickled peckers…

Anyhow. The cycle is simple. I get horny. I masturbate. I fail to get to the Happy Squirting Time. This leaves me unsatisfied and my background level of horniness increases. That leads to more masturbation, and more dissatisfaction, and so forth and so on till I get where I am right now, where I am about to go mad.

The normal solution would be to go seek a playmate (or ten), and that’s where I hit the brick wall because that is a very hard thing for someone with my kinds of crippling social issues to do.

At one point, I was quite closing to doing so, but then the entire classifieds and/or personals sections of every Craigslist in the world got shut down and vanished overnight. I have no idea why.

And with the Craigslist personals went all the psychological progress I had made via talking with various potential fuckbuddies online.

It’s sad that it works that way, but it does.

And I have no idea where to go now. The problem is that there are zillions of websites out there that might hook me up, so how do I choose?

And it’s virtually guaranteed that no other site will have the reach, scope, and localization that Craigslight had.

And I am sure as hell not well enough to go to a gay nightclub and try to pick someone up or get picked up.

I could try a gay bathhouse like the one I tried when I was at VFS. But not that one…it was too cramped for my claustrophobia and too crude and tasteless for my fussy faggy aesthetic and/or erotic sensibilities.

I mean, bare concrete, terrible linoleum, and constant dull as fuck techno music?

Please. I want comfort, damit it. And tastefulness.

So it would be some other place. But I would have to have a sense of how crowded it gets because, once again, claustrophobia.

Damn you, claustrophobia! You’re always fucking up my sex life.

Anyhow, I guess that’s my State of the Union address for my so-called sex life. That is where I stand, gland in hand, looking for a man.

There is a lot more I could talk about, but it is all stuff that would have negative consequences in RL, so I can’t talk about it here.

So instead, I bid you adieu.

I will talk to you nice peoiple again tomorrow.