One of my fave songs from RHPS. It’s musically beautiful and has such a feeling of hope and solace, so unlike most of RHPS.

Hope, comfort, solance, sanctuary, home, coming in from the darkness…. for reasons that should be obvious to patient readers, these are very powerful themes for me.

And one of my most cherished dreams is to one day be able to provide the kind of shelter for other strange people like myself.

I feel a strong kinship with all the freaks, weirdoes, drifters, bottom feeders, lowlifes, perverts, nerds, pornographers, queers, zoophiles, misfits, geeks, losers, pedophiles, all the other -philes, and everyone else society pushes into the margins and tries to pretend does not exist or at best treats like sideshow freaks.

And it would make me so happy to have a big, comfy home with tons of bedrooms so that I could provide a safe, warm, cozy home for all my crazy outcasts. Somewhere they can feel free to be themselves, and to do it as hard as they can as much as they want, without anyone to tell them to turn it down because it’s “weird”.

I have fantasized about buying a run-down motel and filling it with my kind of people. But maybe a huge house would be better, because I want people to mingle in the common areas and get to know one another.

And when I say “mingle”, I mean “have as much of whatever kind of sex they want with each other. ” Sexual minorities would be my specialty, and free love would be the goal.

It would be a lot like this movie, actually :

Only it wouldn’t be someone’s apartment, it would be a huge mansion somewhere out of the way enough to have outdoor privacy, ideally.

And it would work by orgy rules, basically. Consent is the only law. Whatever consenting adults want to do, they can do, and they can do it wherever they like except for a few designated sex-free areas for people to escape to when they feel overwhelmed or are just plain sick of it for now.

And of course, everyone would be required to clean up their messes. And sadly, certain of the more, shall we say, odorous fetishes would be restricted to certain areas.

I would hate to have to do that. I want things to be as free as possible. But the rules have to be a little tighter when it comes to things that might be fun for the participants but might ruin the fun of others.

So some things would be okay only in certain areas so people who are bothered by said things can avoid them.

But otherwise, it would be free fucking everywhere. I would (very, very gently) encourage everyone to be as available to everyone else as possible. The ideal would be to have a community where whatever you are horny for is available from someone in the community at all times.

A lot like online text based furry fandom, actually. Hmmm.

In fact, it just occurred to me, the place would have an app. A kind oif localized Tindr/Grindr/HumpR/whatever which people access in order to post something like, I dunno, “Nipple torture in the Rumpus Room in 5 minutes”  or “Little Bo Peep seeks sheep” or “Hot oil party in the jacuzzi” or something like that.

And that might all seem beyond insane to most people, but to me it would be true sanity. It would be a little island of the way the world should work. A place where people can be truly free to be who they need to be and have what they want to have with as few restrictions as can be managed.

It would even have a spiritual slash scientific mission. Because I want to see what happens when people are truly satiated. When they get as much as they want of whatever they need to actually free their minds of their neurotic burdens for a while and let them know the inner harmony that can bring.

Spritual salvation via total satisation. That would be our motto.

That’s not to say that people would do nothing but fuck all day. I imagine there would be a lot of sex but it would be neither nonstop or even the slightest bit mandatory.

The idea is that people would be free to do whatever they want in whatever quantity they desire. There would be a lot of sex, but also a lot of art, programming, theater, reading, learning, teaching…. whatever people want to do.

This might seem like the wildest form of wreckless hedonism, and in a big way it is. But in another way, it would be my attempt to transcend hedonism via fulfillment.

Oscar Wilde said that the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it, and he was right. So what happens when people have enough hedonistic satisfaction to feel like they are “all done” with that and are ready to go to the next level?

Of course, this whole thing would cost a shit ton of money, especially because I would not want to have to charge people rent.

Well, not in money, anyway. I would rather they pay me by making their art, whatever it is. Amongst other things, it would be an artists’ colony where I take care of the mundane aspects of life so the talented people could concentrate on doing their thing.

There would also be the possibility of paying one’s went with sex. I say possibility because I can be pretty fussy about sex and if someone doesn’t turn me on and I don’t like them on a personal level enough to accept it out of personal regard, then it is just plain not going to happen.

Wow, I’m at 968 words already and I have completely forgotten what I had planned to write about tonight.

Oh right! I am feeling a little better today. Hopefully I have turned the corner and can start bulding myself back up again.

There’s light at the end of the tunnel now.

Someone please tell me it’s not a train.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.